Tuesday, October 30, 2012

How Xul Acquired the Sword

Once upon a time, in a place known as the Magic City, (okay, this didn't actually happen *in* the Magic City, but Xul is from the Magic City, so there! *ahem*) there was a group of graduating high school students sorcery students, who were supposed to go on a quest to the City That Never Sleeps, in the Empire State, a realm far, far away.  Now it is unknown who chose this realm, for it is a boring realm.  No one wants to see a few tall towers or be pick-pocketed by trolls.  Previous graduating classes got to go to Avalon or even Winterfell, but not us!  Nooooo!!!  None of us had King Midas for a daddy. But I digress.  So because they were lacking in funds, and were seriously discouraged from entering into any deals with Rumplestiltskin, the students instead had to make their quest to the Magic Kingdom, a realm which each had already been to many, many times before.

Now young Xul, being ever so familiar with the Magic Kingdom and the treasures therein, had plotted to acquire a fine sword from the sword maker's shop at Cinderella's castle, without certain other students or the chaperones Overseers finding out.  Now it is well known that when Xul sets her mind at getting something, it is as good as got.

The first night of the adventure, the students were to go to a castle for a banquet in their honor where there was much feasting and surly serving wenches and knights a' jousting.  A good time was had by all.  The next day was the trek deep into the heart of the Kingdom.  Xul, being one to take care of business before pleasure, made great haste to the sword maker's shop at Cinderella's castle and did purchase a fine blade at a reasonable price.  The sword makers were kind enough to gift wrap the sword and keep it safe at the shop so that Xul could spend the day adventuring without being cumbered with such a heavy sword and also because Xul roaming the Kingdom with a sword would be frowned upon, and just as long as it was picked up before closing time.

After much frolicking and adventure that day, Xul returned to the sword maker's to pick up the sword.  Then much haste had to be made to make it for yet another banquet, this time as honored guests of the Polynesians.  With sword in tow, Xul and crew went to rendezvous with the other students at the ferry.   "What is in the box, Xul?" the other students asked.  "It's a lamp," replied Xul.  No one bought that answer and continued to make inquiries.  Xul still persisted with the same answer.

During the banquet one particularly annoying fellow student dared to try to steal the box containing the sword but Xul was too slick for him.  Xul was itching to smite him but did not want to be sent home, so deferred.  After the banquet, and safely back at the inn where the students were staying, Xul revealed the fine sword to her companions.  Oooohs and aaaahs abounded.  Then suddenly, there was a knock at the door.  It was one of the Overseers wanting to know what was *really* in the box, for Xul was not likely to have purchased a lamp unless it contained a genie.  But as it was, this Overseer was a Professor of History and the Ancient Scrolls and sympathetic to the cause and did not report Xul to admin.  Quite to the contrary, this Overseer did muchly approve.

Three more days of adventure were had in the Kingdom and then the students were returned to their home realm.  And this is how Xul came to possess that sword.

BTW, Happy Halloween, dearies!

Woe unto you denizens of the Enchanted Forest...

...for the Great Xul has come down to you with much wrath.
Just kidding!  The Great Xul is ready to be an extra on my favorite show though!  I'm also ready for any wayward trick-or-treaters who may *accidentally* stumble upon the wrong path.  (Damn poofy shirt making me look like I've been enjoying too many of the Queen's hard ciders.)

Monday, October 29, 2012

More OUAT Stuff

Now I've reached the point where I've gone full-on fangirl retard over this show.  Last night's episode was freakin' AWESOME!  And I was mostly correct in my predictions, just that my timeline of events was a bit different.  This show is totally a fairy tale soap opera for adult nerds.  Now I think I might be getting to the level of pathology as the Twilight tweener fangirls.  It's gonna be all Team Regals vs Team Rumples just like the Team Edward vs Team Jacob thing.  I bet you can't guess who I'm backing!  LOL

And I have to get a kick out of all the morons on the OUAT Facebook page who are all butt-hurt over the fact that Whale is Frankenstein.  Oh, waaaah, wahhhh, waahhhh!!!  Frankenstein isn't a fairy tale!  Waaaah. waaahhh, waaaahhhhh!!!!!   But they aren't butt-hurt over Mulan and Hook.  Those two aren't from Grimm's or other classic fairy tales.  I like that the writers are pulling material from many sources of classic fiction.  It makes the show more interesting.

And pulled form the FB comments, the one non-moronic comment that pretty much summed up my feelings:

...I am really enjoying this season. I love how the writers are incorporating characters not from the original fairy tale realm, like Dr. Frankenstein and Captain Hook. It's funny, but the more I see of Regina's back story and how she went down the path of evil, the more I feel bad for her. Truth be told, she was kind of doomed. Momma controlled and frightened her, killed the man she loved and forced her to marry the king. And Rumpelstiltskin turned her evil. It is getting harder to sympathize with ole Rump because he is pulling everyone else's strings, so to speak. He is a chess player, a strategist, a man who sees long term. And I am guessing he had to push Regina into unleashing the curse because he didn't have anyone left he loved enough to sacrifice...

True dat.

Yeah, Rumple is a real evil dick.  He's a total conniving puppet master who totally conspired with Jefferson and Frankie to manipulate Regina.  Rump has been manipulating her all along, and it wouldn't surprise me if he was conspiring with Cora, and the way things unfolded, he just tweaked his grand scheme a bit to use Regina instead.  The way the writers have Rumps character written is so hard-core that I even looked up the Degradations of Evil scale from the show Most Evil because, frankly, the level of manipulation is rather shocking.  I think there could be some argument at this point over which "evil" character is the most evil just based on evil acts, but Rumple and Cora certainly seem to be the most ruthless and unrepentant.

Anyhoo, I am sooo loving this show and I can hardly wait until Sunday for the next episode!

Saturday, October 27, 2012

OUAT Predictions

Okay, this probably won't be too difficult of a prediction because Lana Parrilla gave a bit of a hint about what was going on in the next episode.  From what she said, it involves Rumple trying to teach young Regina magic but something is getting in the way.  We also learn why Regina hates Jefferson.  And from what the promos showed, Dr. Whale is somehow involved.

So now, my prediction:  Young Regina is having a hard time learning magic because she doesn't have much malice at this point and it's likely that her love for Daniel and mourning his death is somehow interfering with the magic lessons.  So this is where Jefferson enters the picture.  We know from previous shows that he is a 'portal jumper' and also the Mad Hatter so he is likely brought on the scene because he has been to lots of different realms and has probably met a dude who can help bring Daniel back to life- Dr. Frankenstein/Dr. Whale.  So he hooks up Regina with Frankie and he brings back Daniel, only he isn't sweet loveable Daniel, he's now evil monster Daniel and likely has to be killed -again- so now Regina has to suffer the pain of having him killed and losing him a second time.  Now she *hates* Jefferson for hooking her up with Frankie and blames him for this tragic outcome, just like she blames Snow for Daniel's death the first time around.  

Rumples is likely loving all of this.  I envision him doing the old Emperor Palpatine to Luke Skywalker routine on Regina--"Good! Your hate has made you powerful. Now, fulfill your destiny and take your father's mother's place at my side!"  Now that she has a goodly amount of hatred in her heart, she can now be more adept at the Dark Arts.

I will be surprised if my prediction is far off from the actual episode.

Now, about that weird dream that I had...

...I was in the Enchanted Forest and the Queen and her entourage was approaching.  The rest of the peeps are bowing as the Queen passes but I wouldn't bow.  I wanted to get a good look at the Queen.  Then they were like, "You better bow or she'll kill you!" but I still wouldn't bow.  Then the Queen rides up to me and says something about me not bowing.  Then I'm all 'Go ahead and kill me, it would be more merciful than living.'  And the Queen is like, "I'm not merciful!  Guards!  Take her to my castle!"  And I'm like 'Before you do, I need to get my stuff!'  My stuff for some reason was in a couple chests like pirates would have and they were in a cave. *?*

Back at the Queens castle, I'm settling in to my quarters.  (Yeah, quite generous of the Queen, eh?)  She comes in and starts looking at all my stuff--swords, battle axes, jewelry(one ring in particular), nice clothes--and remarks, "You weren't always as you are now.  You have some very nice things here."  Then I'm like, "You have magic.  You can make me how I'm supposed to be."  Then she poofs me into my new self.  We were both quite pleased with it for a few minutes.  Then I had the awful thought that I'm now exactly how I imagined 'perfection' to be by other peoples standards, but how I imagined *their* standards to be.  I'm not how I am actually supposed to be.  "Dammit!  Poof me back!  Now I have to find myself all over again."  So I get poofed back.  Then I say to the Queen, "Ya know, this isn't who you are supposed to be, either!"  And we both kinda give each other the 'crap, what are we supposed to do now?' look.

I have some funky-ass dreams for realz.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

OUAT Stuff

Just some thoughts on OUAT that I had a while ago.  Since we know that Cora killed Regina's main squeeze, Daniel, and since it's a magical show, I had thought that what Regina needed to do was find herself a Necromancer, or perhaps the Necronomicon so she could call the dead back to life.  And since they are all now in Storybrook, Maine, they could always do a Steven King/Pet Sematary type deal.  Of course, when you do that, the person or thing you love doesn't come back the way they were.  Sure, the body might be back, but they end up being monstrous.

Well, lo and behold!  I somewhat predicted it!  Last week the teaser for the next episode showed what looked to be Dr. Whale(it seems that it is going to be revealed that his alter ego is Dr. Frankenstein) bringing Daniel back to life a la Frankenstein's Monster, and Regina saying something about 'he's a monster!' or some such thing.  Looks to be a cool episode just in time for Halloween.  It's kinda neat that something I was thinking about that would be cool for them to do, they are kinda sorta doing!

You can take a look-see at the previews over here if ya like.

The other thing, it seems that there's something more between Regina and Charming than has been revealed so far.  They have repeatedly saved each others asses several times through the series and neither seem to have any real animosity toward each other.  It will be interesting to see what the writers have planned.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012


I wasn't going to post this, but I'm going to go ahead and do it anyway.  It's the accounts of my last two blow-ups with mommy dearest.
This happened on Sunday:

I am angry with myself.  Yesterday I was in the car with my mother getting ready to go to the store and had a nasty exchange with her, which seems to be the only kind she is capable of having.  It started with her wanting me to go back into the house to get the Presidente ad.  This, after she had been complaining all week that they didn't send the Presidente ad in the mail.  When I questioned her about it , she said something nasty to me...I don't remember what exactly...then she said something to the effect that I was argumentative and deceitful(HA! That I remember because...projecting much?) and something else that I don't remember, implying that I'm a bad daughter.  Then I snapped back with something...I don't remember what...telling her that she isn't so great as a mother, either.  Well, I guess that struck a nerve because she fired back with a hearty FUCK YOU!!! (Proving my point, because what fabulous mother tells her daughter 'fuck you!'?) At that point, I unfastened my seat belt and started out the door.  "I'm not going ANYWHERE with you!" I said, and then proceeded out the door.  "Get back in this car, BITCH!" was her reply.  Oh man, was I ever seeing red.  I slammed the door and walked off.

I'm really pissed off with myself because I ended up getting back in the car and going with her.  I'm pissed because I said on Petrichor's blog that I'd never tolerate a man calling me "bitch" even in jest, and yet my fucking cunt of a mother can call me that and I just get back in the fucking car with her and do what she wants?  That's fucked up.  People only treat you how you allow them to treat you, right?  And yet I allow it.  I'm so tired of going back to the way she programmed me to be.  I'm so tired of caving in to her.  I'm so tired of her always winning and getting her way because that's how I've been programmed to react.  I'm so tired of feeling powerless(because that's how I've always felt).  I'm so tired of feeling like I'm under an evil spell.  I just gave up without a fight because it feels so damn useless.  I'm so tired of all her shit.
This happened today:

Fucking miserable cunt!  Had another nasty argument with her.  This time she calls me evil of all things.  Projecting much?  Then says, "yeah, you're evil...you like to tease the dog!"  The fuck?  How do I tease the dog?  "Oh, you are always antagonizing him?"  Hows that?  "You're mean to him!"  This woman is a fucking mental case.  Then she has to start on with the personal attacks.  I don't have 'any balls', I don't stand up to anyone.  Well, who the fuck am I supposed to 'stand up' to?  I fight with the most evil one of all, her, on a daily basis.  Then she says she hates who I am.  

This shit all gets started because, once again, she's railing and raging over some stupid political shit that I don't care about and I didn't pay enough attention to her(ie trying to completely ignore her) and I'm the MOST RUDE CHILD EVAR!!!!!  (Don't you like how she STILL refers to me as a child?)  And she isn't rude?  Who the fuck wants to listen to the ranting and raving of a lunatic all day long, every fucking day?  Then she wanted me to cut the meat of the ham, but she just can't let me do it on my own.  Like everything, she has to literally stand over me and micromanage every fucking move I make and criticize what I'm doing.  "Oh, if I don't tell you, then how will you learn?"(How is that not insulting?) Then when I take exception to it, I'm 'internalizing everything'.  I'm so fucking sick of her constant emotional assaults and then when I get upset over it I'm 'internalizing everything.'  Who the fuck wouldn't get upset by her shit?  If I just took it and enjoyed it then I think there would be something wrong with me, but to get upset at her bullshit is quite normal, I think.

She doesn't know how close she came to me just walking out today.  If I had some place to go I would have been out the door.  I'm soooo sick of her shit and her 24/7 nastiness.  I'm getting very close to the breaking point where I'm going to be outta here and then she can just be fucked.  She drives everyone away and she is in the process of driving me away too.  It's self fulfilling on her part.  She drives everyone away and then she can say how we are all terrible people who walked out and left her 'all alone'.  Booo-fucking-hoo!!!!!  She's such a victim!  Look what her evil daughter did!  The evil daughter is so evil and self-centered! And evil!  Projecting!  Projecting!  Projecting!  And she isn't evil and self centered?  She has done selfish things for as long as I can remember without regard for how it would affect me or anyone else.  She has deprived me of a normal life.   And that is not evil and self centered?

I couldn't take it.  She was getting me so mad while I was cutting the ham that my heart was starting to pound out of my chest and if I didn't stop what I was doing I was afraid I was going to cut myself.  So I just stormed off to my room to get away from her and to cool down.  Then I started writing all this down because I feel it's a good idea to start journaling all these incidents.  A few minutes later, she's calling me to come deal with the laundry that has finished.  Un-fucking-believable how she can go from one of her nasty episodes to seemingly back to normal, like nothing ever happened.

Then, when I'm back in my room, she comes to start more bullshit with me, and then says I'M the one who starts it.  Hello?  You came to me!  How the fuck did I start it?  More name calling and personal attacks, then telling me I'm the one name-calling.  I was just sitting here answering as calmly as possible.  She's raging and projecting everything she's doing and saying onto me.  It would be fucking amazing if it wasn't so sad and pathetic.  I really wish I had a hidden camera to record it all.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Speakin' of Boobehs...

...this is a question for my gentleman reader:  How would you feel if a woman asked you to tag along with her to go bra shopping?  I only ask because it was brought up by someone on a message board.  She didn't want her hubby to tag along while bra shopping.  I thought that was kinda odd.  Maybe it's just me, but I wouldn't mind *at all* because I actually like the feedback and the back and forth banter.  I've also got a naughty/wicked/playful streak and I'd think it would be great fun to show off/model bras for my man.

Maybe that chick on that message board has been married for thousands of years and it's all old hat, so to speak.  She said it wouldn't enter her mind to help a man pick out a jockstrap, either.  I don't know, I'd like to think that whoever I end up with would be good natured enough and have a good enough sense of humor and be playful enough to go bra shopping with me.  And I'd like to think that there would be some reciprocity in the jockstrap department, too.  Although, I must say, jockstraps look horrible.  I don't like that wee patch over your wang and then your arse hanging out the back. I much prefer those sexy, snug, hybrid boxer/brief ones.  Those are the shizzle!  I wouldn't mind critiquing some of that! 

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Ma Nature Wasn't Very Bitchy For This Visit

Much to my surprise, this week I didn't have much of a hard time, other than the obvious annoyance.  Hardly any cramping.  No icepicks through the uterus.  None of that.  And I've been noticing the last several times, when Ma Nature is packing up to leave, I start getting very randy and have very vivid dreams, some of a very sexy nature.  So yesterday, after She finally made her exit,  I decided to do a bit of exercising since I've been neglecting that due to the terrible funk I've been in for the past few months.  Well, between that and all the hormones coursing through my body, I had one hell of a doozy dream last night.  In my dream, my back was sore, and there was this one particularly sexy man who I asked if he'd give me a back rub.  He was like, "Okay" in the way that a man would answer if you asked him to take out the garbage.  Then in my dream, I just ripped my shirt off and laid my topless self face down on the bed.  I remember getting one fabulous massage and commenting about what great hands the guy had.  And that's all I remember about it.  LOL  I guess "topless" was a motivating factor.  LOL

I thought it was strange, the part about me ripping my shirt off;  that's so uncharacteristic of me.  It's funny though, my back isn't bothering me.  It's my arse and quads that need the massage! 

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Evening Kerfluffle

Last night, around 8:20-ish pm, the power flashed off and then on again for a split second, and then the indisputable sound of the electrical transformer making two distinct *BANGs* and then the power went out completely.  This got me instantly pissed off because it wasn't raining and blowing or anything, and the damn power just goes off just like that.  And I was watching a program about the Best Places for Halloween Scares so I was doubly pissed off.

Not being one to sit around and wait for someone else to call FPL(Florida Power and Light, or as one of my friend calls them, Filch, Plunder and Loot), I grabbed my cell phone and called their Outage Reporting Hotline to make a complaint.  For the first time ever, after I dealt with their stupid automated computer voice, I was connected to an equally stupid customer service person.  This guy sounded like an illiterate.  He was mumbling like he had a mouth full of marbles and trying his damnedest to read the script.  I could barely understand a damned thing this guy was asking me.  Seriously?  If a company is going to hire someone to work a customer service line, shouldn't the person be able to speak English clearly and be able to read?  Anyway, I gave the guy the address and explained what the problem was and he told me to go test the breakers on the house.  Okay, seriously again?  I just told you the transformer made two explosion sounds and the whole block is sitting in the dark.  Flipping the breakers isn't going to help me one hoot.

I then went to gather up our hurricane lanterns, put batteries in them, and then strategically place them around the house so we would at least have some light in the house.  At least my laptop had it's backup battery charged so I surfed the web for a while waiting for the power to come back on.

Around an hour later, an FPL truck was sighted inching its way down the street, shining their spotlight, trying to find the problem transformer.  My weirdo next-door neighbor was sitting in his car in his driveway and he got out and said something to the FPL truck driver.  I couldn't hear what was said but the next thing I know, the truck continued to the end of the street and proceeded around to the other side of the block.  I thought that perhaps they could access the transformer better from the other side but NO!  They didn't get out to work on it at all.  They just fucking left!

Now I was more pissed off than ever.  I called the hotline again and it said that a crew was out and working to determine what the problem was.  THE FUCK THEY ARE!!!  They aren't determining shit!  They came out, decided they didn't want to work in the dark, and then fucking left!  For the next hour or two, I kept going outside periodically to see if anyone was working and then calling back the hotline to check for updates.  Their first update was that a branch had damaged FPL equipment and it was affecting 24 customers and that the power should be restored by 11:30pm.  I don't know how they determined that since no one actually got out of the truck to investigate anything and no one was on scene actually working.  Subsequent calls later, they took off the 'expected time of restoration.'  No shit.  No one was out doing any restoring.

Around 1:30am, I gave up hope that the power was going to be restored this night so I just decided to go to bed.  It was rather stuffy in the house and I like a cold bedroom and a fan on for white noise.  It was around 70 degrees according to the thermometer in my room so at least it wasn't terribly hot.  I have no idea when I finally fell asleep.  To my shock at 5:08am, the power came back on.  My TV clicked on with it loudly blaring static since the Satellite hadn't reset itself yet.  I was relieved because I have two fridges and a deep freeze full of crap that would have all gone bad if the power had been out any longer.

I went around the house and turned off all the lights that had came back on and then went and cranked the A/C to a cooler temperature and then went back to bed, fan blasting.  Then I slept to nearly 1pm.

The moral of the story:  FPL sucks ass and doesn't maintain their equipment, therefore, a mouse fart can make the power go out.  They also have asshole employees.  

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Pizza and Banshees

I made my first pizza from scratch the other night.  I got to thinking about how much of a ripoff it is to buy them from a store or a pizza place when the actual ingredients are pretty cheap and it couldn't be that hard to make.  I found a recipe in an international cookbook that I have and, yes indeed, it seemed super easy.  I didn't want to take a chance in it turning out horrible so I only made half the recipe.  It was so freakin' easy, I really couldn't believe it.  Just flour, water, yeast and a bit of sugar, and some oil and toppings, of course.  As it turned out, the yeast that had been sitting in the refrigerator had been sitting a bit too long and it didn't look like it had activated after soaking in the water and sugar mixture so I just added a bit of baking powder to the mix and hoped that it would rise.  I mixed it all together in a bowl and then kneaded the dough in the same bowl so I wouldn't make such a mess and then let it sit for over an hour in hopes that it would rise.

When I came back to check on the dough, it seemed like maybe it had risen a little bit so I decided to go ahead and roll it out and make a couple small pizzas.  So check this out, this is improvising at its best.  Because I like things quick and easy and not too much fuss, I used some leftover spaghetti sauce in a jar that was hanging out in the fridge, some fresh mozzarella cheese, some pepperoni that been hanging out a while and a bit of onion(for my mother's pizza...she likes it that way).  I used some old pie tins to cook the pizza in and then put all the ingredients together and bunged 'em in the oven at 425 degrees F for 20 minutes.  To my surprise, they turned out pretty decent.  I figured my mother wouldn't like it but to my surprise, she actually thought it was pretty good.

Now I'm sitting here writing about pizza and would really like some but I greedily scarfed down all my pizza the other night right after it came out of the oven!  Next time I make them though, I'm gonna have to get some yeast that's still active and maybe brush the edges of the dough with some oil so they get crispy.  Like anything else, I'll perfect it with some practice.

Anyway, about the banshees!  While I devoured my pizza, there was a really bad scary movie with banshees in it.  It was so bad that I don't even remember what it was called.  Those banshees sure are annoying as hell.  All they do is scream and scream and scream.  If I was those people, I would have opened the window and stuck my head out and shouted, "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING BANSHEES!!!!!!!  YOU'RE ANNOYING THE HELL OUTTA ME!!!!!!  NOW GO THE FUCK AWAY!!!!!!!"  People in movies are so damn stupid.  They don't know how to get anything done. 

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

My Favorite Season

Autumn is my favorite time of the year.  I love going into shops and seeing all the harvest related decorations--the Indian corn, the pumpkins, the strange-shaped gourds, and the bundles of wheat.  And the best seasonal crop by far is the tangerines!  The other best part of this season is Halloween.  I love seeing all the new Halloween decorations and all the new ideas for decorating.  The other thing I like to see is the programs on TV showing all the best Haunted House attractions and Haunted Hayrides and corn mazes.  Unfortunately, all the best ones seem to be out of state.  South Florida is such a lame-ass place for such a big urban sprawl.  No Haunted Hayrides or corn mazes here since all the farmland was bulldozed to make housing developments.

I remember one time when I was a kid, I was taken way the hell down south somewhere by the zoo to go to a Haunted House attraction.  It was really stupid.  It was some kind of maze type thing/plywood construction with low lighting/black light/strobe lights where actors in bad costumes and even worse make-up would jump out and try to scare you.  The only good part about it was after you exited the haunted house there were carnival rides set up so that part wasn't so bad.

These days, the Haunted Houses are quite sophisticated.  They look like big budget Hollywood sound stages with professional lighting, sound effects and stage designs with animatronic monsters and professionally done costumes and make-up.  Even some of the hayrides are just as sophisticated.  I think it would be cool to own and operate one of those attractions.  Those peeps must make some serious moolah.  The problem is I'm lacking the property and the funding.  I know one guy from school who is now a horror artist and would probably be down for something like that and I'm not too shabby at creature design myself, but it is something that certainly takes some dedication and enthusiasm.  That would be so cool to be able to make a living out of scaring the crap out of people!  Ahh well, always seem to get foiled by lack of funding and know how.  Curses!

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Dead Stuff

Today when I went out back to clean up the dog's poo, I smelled a terrible smell, and it wasn't the dog poo.  It was the distinct reek of death and there were lots of flies buzzing around the back yard.  So I started sniffing around to see what had died and where the hell it died.  Well, the best way to find a dead thing is to see where the flies are congregating and they seemed to be in the area of the dog kennel.  The dog kennel is mainly used for storage of lawn related crap and the flies were coming out from an old mini dumpster that was turned upside down.  Great.

The stench was absolutely horrendous.  I had to go get a t-shirt and tie it around my face and even that didn't help much.  I got a shovel to use to flip over the dumpster thingy because I sure as hell was not going to touch whatever was under there with my bare hands.  Once I flipped it over, there was a smaller bin underneath with a couple plastic trash can lids in it and underneath those was the dead thing--a huge dead possum. 

Now I must tell you, possums have to be some of the stupidest creatures in the world.  They are the Darwin Awards World Champions of the Animal Kingdom.  They manage to get themselves stuck in all sorts of things.  This one had managed to get himself under the dumpster thing, probably looking for a good hiding place, and then couldn't get back out.  It probably died from a heat stroke.

Anyway, it was a disgusting thing to have to clean up.  Maggots were boiling out of its face and the smell was enough to make me retch.  I got a big trash bag and dumped it in there, tied it up tight, and then put it in the big wheelie bin for the trash collector.  Luckily for me, the next trash pick-up is Thursday, so I won't have to smell it for much longer.  At least the big wheelie bin has a fairly tight fitting lid to contain most of the reek.  *Sigh*

Speaking of dead things, I semi-watched a zombie movie last night called The Zombie Diaries.  It was really stupid and shot in the style of Blair Witch.  I hate movies where the people act stupid, especially when they are dealing with slow moving, dumb, lurching zombies.  If you get yourself bitten by a slow zombie, then you deserve what you get.  I would like to see an intelligent zombie movie sometime.

In other zombie news, I was watching a program about Halloween festivities the other night, and there was this one where they had what looked like a military style obstacle course and the participants had to run through it wearing 3 flag football style flags and avoid having zombies grab the flags off.  I have no idea how many kilometers the peeps had to run.  I'm not a fan of running but otherwise it looked like a lot of fun.   At the end of the run, if you managed to still have your flags intact, you got a medal around your neck. I think there were different ones for how many flags were still intact.  It seems like all the best Halloween festivities are up north.  Florida is such a lame-ass place and full of stupid people who ruin things for others.

Monday, October 08, 2012

If I die before I wake...

...it was not the Salmon Mousse to blame.  I was done in by the Spotted Dick.  It seems as though my prized Spotted Dick's containment unit did not survive its trans-Atlantic crossing.  When I finally took it out of its inner packaging tonight, I discovered that both plastic containers were cracked.  I peeled back the foil top on one of the Dicks and gave it a smell test.  It seemed to be okay.  I had kept it in the shipping package since I received it and not much air could have gotten to it.  I then gave it a taste and it seemed okay.  So I finished it off.  They put enough preservatives in those things to survive the Zombie Apocalypse.  That's when I noticed a bit of a metallic aftertaste.  A bit disconcerting, that.  So if I come up missing or there is a new zombie outbreak in South Florida, I will likely be patient zero and it was a tainted Spotted Dick that did it.

In other news, I've been enjoying the new season of Once Upon A Time.  I think I'm going to be proved right that Cora and the Queen of Hearts are one in the same.  It was revealed that Regina pushed Mommy Dearest through the Looking Glass portal and we all know where one goes when 'through the looking glass'.  And it is going to be interesting when more is revealed about Rump's and Cora's early history.  I am certain she is the miller's daughter.  This looks like it's going to be a fun season!

Thursday, October 04, 2012

I Need These

With Halloween right around the corner, I could use some of these.  Hell, I could use some of these the rest of the year, too!  Only I couldn't put them in the front yard because they would surely be stolen.  I'd need a high fence around the yard and some motion activated laser beams to zap any pilferers attempting to pilfer my zombie gnomes.  Or maybe a giant magnifying glass hooked up to a remote control and some CCTV cameras that I could aim via joystick like a video game.  That would be awesome!  Burn their thieving asses up like big ol' ants.  Of course, that would only work on sunny days and when the sun was at the proper angle.  Or I could do the giant magnifying glass in conjunction with the laser beams.  A high tech and a low tech option.  I'm flexible like that.  A little Dr. Evil combined with some Archimedes.

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

"Fun" With Personality Disorders

Bah! I really want to write a good post but I don't know where to start. I guess I'll have to put some Sisters of Mercy on and crank it up to 11.

Where to start? Where to start? Putting up with someone with a personality disorder is frustrating. There are many behaviors that they do that will make you mental and if you are not careful, they will make you as nuts as they are. I recently found a great website outofthefog.net that has a lot of resources to help me cope.

I found one particular thread that I could definitely relate to. Many of the same behaviors that I have witnessed and experienced over the years seem to be common with PDs. So I'll just go through that thread and highlight some things and then give my own commentary. (I just realized something. It's like people who have been in wars. Only other people who have experienced war can truly understand. It's like swapping war stories! LOL)
inability to listen She tends to see the world through her own agenda. Everything I would tell her is filtered through that agenda. If it fits her agenda, then fine. If not, it gets filtered out [This is very frustrating. I'll start to say something and she is not at all listening. Then I have to repeat myself several times. Then she will reply with some thought of her own that doesn't even relate to what I just said. She either hasn't heard a thing I said or she just doesn't care because it isn't what she happens to be thinking about. It's maddening.]

They are just not 'wired' to compute the information you are giving them, no matter now many times and ways your try to explain it. If it doesn't fit their own agenda or goes outside their comfort zone in their PD reality, it just won't happen. [Like I said above.]

My mother has claimed before, that every time I speak I interrupt. How is my having something to say interrupting? This is an irrational statement. I feel it isn't necessarily an interruption. I think my mother is a very bad listener. [My mother does this to me all the time. She likes to use the excuse that if I "interrupt" she will lose her train of thought. Therefore, I just have to stand there and let her do a monologue until she is finished. That monologue could be over 30 minutes long and I'm required to stand there and say nothing.]

When my wife would get going you could not get a word in edge wise. She would talk fast and loud and get right in your face and would go from topic to topic to topic. She would tell you "she wasn't finished" or accuse me of trying to "out-talk" her if I tried to respond to the first point (by this time she would be on point number 15). Then she would start over again and start repeating herself and eventually (well not eventually) work her self into a full blown screaming rage. [This is very common with my mother. I'm also accused of trying to "out-talk" her. Then she'll have the audacity to say that she tries to have a discussion with me but I never give her any input or feedback. Seriously? WTF?]

In a normal conversation you have an exchange of ideas. You try to understand where the other person is coming from and if they have a better idea. And, you discuss things one point at a time. There is trust, understanding, and communication. [There will never be a normal conversation with a person with a PD.]

On other hand, a conversation with a PD person can turn into a scream fest once you express a differing point of view. And guess what, when you walk away they follow you. If you leave, they are waiting for you when you come back. And 20 years later, it will still be stuck in their mind and they are ready to go to war all over again. [This happened to me today. I had just finished doing some things outside and I came in to cool off. I wanted to get some water and go sit in front of the fan but NO! She had a whole laundry list of things she wanted to say and when I started walking away she got upset about that and accused me of always being rude and walking away. Well, couldn't she be accused of being inconsiderate since I just came in from working outside and needed to rest before I passed out? She would never see it that way. So I continued to my room and a couple minutes later she had to follow me up there. She literally went on for 35 minutes. I know because I made it a point to look at the clock to see how long she would go on this time. And the other thing about 20 years later? That isn't an exaggeration. They literally keep a list in their mind of all perceived wrongdoings to bring up at any point in the future when they need some extra ammunition.]

...part of my H's closing needs to end in my agreement on his terms, that use to be the end, now it doesn't always mean the end. I am not one to normally give up to end a war but it wears you down after 2 days no eating and sleeping, nothing but this craziness, it wears you down and you are just about ready to say anything to make it stop...[My mother requires agreement at the end or else it will spin off into a new argument. I usually just agree so that it will finally end. It really does wear you down.]

The other thing about the inability to listen ... it should also include an unwillingness to listen. They are physically capable of listening, if not actually taking your discussion on board. The real problem as I see it is that they don't WANT to listen. It "invades their air space" when we try to discuss something with them. [All true as I've said before.]

These days, when he goes on and on and on and on, I stay silent and zone out to a nicer place in my head. [I try to do that but it's difficult when they go on and on at a rapid pace and a high volume.]

the 1st couple words were barely out of my mouth when he would start back in with all the random "crimes" I had committed since we met. It was like he had a script. [Like I stated above.]

I remember one time asking if he's ever been to New Orleans & he said no but he didn't think he'd like it. And I said--Oh I love it there..one of my favorite places. And his response was "do you always have to disagree with me?" [My mother is like this. If something doesn't suit her likes or preferences then it is WRONG. She will go on and on about 'how could anyone like that?' and how they are stupid or whatever other insulting thing she can think of because they like it.]

I have one (NPD I think) who will never stop talking and will become irate if you try to "interrupt." I just hang up on him. He used to follow me from room to room yelling his "point of view" [Ditto.]

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if my wife were to marry someone else just like her. They could have a rage fest together. Each of them could scream and yell until their hearts were content. [I don't have to wonder. I grew up in a house like that. My parents loved to argue and have rage fests Every. Single. Day. I swear they literally fought about something every day. It's a horrible environment to be in.]

PD Island ... like Survivor ...mix of survivor and UFC [That made me LOL]

TechGuy, you have just described my parent's marriage, the private side. The side nobody sees. Yep. You got it dead on. That was part of my childhood. Screaming and yelling until they settled down. [Dittos again.]

Unfortunately a lot of people, especially PD people, tend to see religion as a set of rules. PD persons love religion because it gives them cover & self-justification. If other PD persons are like my wife they tend to be very black and white. Thinking in the gray areas is difficult. They like things to be concrete.

These kind of people give religion a bad name. It is a misrepresentation. These are actually the people Jesus opposed (the Scribes and Pharisees).

My religion is different. I don't have a bunch of rules. I have a relationship with Jesus. There is a world of difference. I answer to Jesus - not a bunch of rules. It's kind of hard to understand and it doesn't necessarily give me the freedom to sin. But it's the person (Jesus) not the rules that is going to save your soul. Therefore I answer to Him. [I agree. This all is true. They like to use religion as a tool of manipulation.]

PD's are great at manipulating (hey look what they did to us!!) and they can do it to others too - playing the victim is just one of their many behaviors. [My mother loves to tell other people how horrible I am and how I'm "disrespectful" (because I don't just let her run all over me) and how terribly I treat her. The reality is she's the one who does all the terrible things that she accuses me of doing. I really resent people who haven't a fucking clue about the reality of the situation tell me that it's not a big deal and that 'she's my mother' as if that makes it all okay.]
Fun, huh?