Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Dead Stuff

Today when I went out back to clean up the dog's poo, I smelled a terrible smell, and it wasn't the dog poo.  It was the distinct reek of death and there were lots of flies buzzing around the back yard.  So I started sniffing around to see what had died and where the hell it died.  Well, the best way to find a dead thing is to see where the flies are congregating and they seemed to be in the area of the dog kennel.  The dog kennel is mainly used for storage of lawn related crap and the flies were coming out from an old mini dumpster that was turned upside down.  Great.

The stench was absolutely horrendous.  I had to go get a t-shirt and tie it around my face and even that didn't help much.  I got a shovel to use to flip over the dumpster thingy because I sure as hell was not going to touch whatever was under there with my bare hands.  Once I flipped it over, there was a smaller bin underneath with a couple plastic trash can lids in it and underneath those was the dead thing--a huge dead possum. 

Now I must tell you, possums have to be some of the stupidest creatures in the world.  They are the Darwin Awards World Champions of the Animal Kingdom.  They manage to get themselves stuck in all sorts of things.  This one had managed to get himself under the dumpster thing, probably looking for a good hiding place, and then couldn't get back out.  It probably died from a heat stroke.

Anyway, it was a disgusting thing to have to clean up.  Maggots were boiling out of its face and the smell was enough to make me retch.  I got a big trash bag and dumped it in there, tied it up tight, and then put it in the big wheelie bin for the trash collector.  Luckily for me, the next trash pick-up is Thursday, so I won't have to smell it for much longer.  At least the big wheelie bin has a fairly tight fitting lid to contain most of the reek.  *Sigh*

Speaking of dead things, I semi-watched a zombie movie last night called The Zombie Diaries.  It was really stupid and shot in the style of Blair Witch.  I hate movies where the people act stupid, especially when they are dealing with slow moving, dumb, lurching zombies.  If you get yourself bitten by a slow zombie, then you deserve what you get.  I would like to see an intelligent zombie movie sometime.

In other zombie news, I was watching a program about Halloween festivities the other night, and there was this one where they had what looked like a military style obstacle course and the participants had to run through it wearing 3 flag football style flags and avoid having zombies grab the flags off.  I have no idea how many kilometers the peeps had to run.  I'm not a fan of running but otherwise it looked like a lot of fun.   At the end of the run, if you managed to still have your flags intact, you got a medal around your neck. I think there were different ones for how many flags were still intact.  It seems like all the best Halloween festivities are up north.  Florida is such a lame-ass place and full of stupid people who ruin things for others.

2 Comments:

Anonymous arekino said...

LOL Cryptkeeper Xul tells the tale of The Dead Possum. I hope you made sure that sucker didn't come back to life?

Are you doing a series of Halloween flavoured articles to hold us over till October 31? :P

In other zombie news

A little while ago I saw this Youtube movie about a guy who dressed up like a zombie (or something similar) and scared a whole bunch of people out of their wits doing so. I'm surprised he didn't get himself inadvertently shot. :D

Wednesday, October 10, 2012 2:55:00 PM  
Blogger Xul said...

Sometimes I feel like the Possum Undertaker around here. I hope you made sure that sucker didn't come back to life? He's not coming back. In fact, when I was trying to dump him out of the smaller bin that looked like it was being used as his house(there was all sorts of leaves and debris in there) while trying to get him and all of that into the trash bag, the leaves came out successfully but the dead possum got hung up on the side of the bin. At that point, it was reeking so badly and I couldn't hold my breath any longer so I just dropped it to the ground and the dead possum was left dangling off the side of the bin while I ran for some fresh air. If t didn't come back after all that, he ain't coming back! LOL

Are you doing a series of Halloween flavoured articles to hold us over till October 31? :P Maybe. ;P It's a fun subject.

I'm surprised he didn't get himself inadvertently shot. That happened here in S.Fl IIRC. Everyone was shocked that the guy didn't get shot, especially when the actual zombie got shot by the popo.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012 4:06:00 PM  

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