I Need These

With Halloween right around the corner, I could use some of these.  Hell, I could use some of these the rest of the year, too!  Only I couldn't put them in the front yard because they would surely be stolen.  I'd need a high fence around the yard and some motion activated laser beams to zap any pilferers attempting to pilfer my zombie gnomes.  Or maybe a giant magnifying glass hooked up to a remote control and some CCTV cameras that I could aim via joystick like a video game.  That would be awesome!  Burn their thieving asses up like big ol' ants.  Of course, that would only work on sunny days and when the sun was at the proper angle.  Or I could do the giant magnifying glass in conjunction with the laser beams.  A high tech and a low tech option.  I'm flexible like that.  A little Dr. Evil combined with some Archimedes.