Saturday, March 22, 2008

Have A Kinky Easter

And if it's a kinky Easter, it will surely be a happy one as well. Maybe I can show the Hawt Brazilian all the creative things one can do with peeps and chocolate eggs. Mmmmmm.

This fellow doesn't appear to be having a very good day. Prolly run doon by a bearded dude in a white SUV. That's what you get for trying to steal the J Man's thunder!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Blogger Ate My Dingo

Well...actually, no. Blogger ate my post and not my dingo. I don't actually have a dingo, but I'm in a silly mood and that "a dingo ate my baby" thing suddenly came to mind, and well, I digress. What the hell was it that I was actually going to write about? Oh, yes. Random thoughts.

If you live in the fucking arctic, and you send me a picture of something buried under a snowdrift, I most certainly do not think that it is "amazing." That's like saying, "Ooh! Look at that water! It's wet!" And I'm all like, "Amazing!" No, it is not amazing. It's fucking normal, banal shite.

I am thoroughly unimpressed with arseholes who go out killing animals for the "sport" of it. It is not sporting to kill an animal from a hundred yards away with a high powered rifle. It doesn't make your penis any larger. If you have a small penis, get a magnifying glass. If you really want to impress me with what a big stud you are, kill that water buffalo with your bare hands. Moron.

The masses really are asses.

Drivers in Florida really are the worst in the country.

Never compare yourself with others. Everyone is unique. Some are unique arseholes.

No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

Some people simply aren't worth all the drama and grief that they put you through. When you finally get the hell over them you realize that it was just as much you as them but in different ways and the two of you together was just the perfect storm of drama. Live and learn and don't EVER get into any head trips like that again.

People who are chronically unhappy need to get the hell over themselves. Life is too short to always focus on the negative.

If you are a "cyclist," I don't think it really makes that much of a difference if you shave your legs. You're not really going that fast, now, are you? People who call themselves "cyclist" are such smug fekkers.

That is all for now.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Happy Blogversary To Me

Looks like I'm singing solo here. Anyhoo, here's to two years of my inconsistent posting habits and general futzing around. Who knows for how long I can keep this going at this pace!

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Fuck Right Off

I really am shite at this blogging business. I'm not a natural writer to begin with. I've never journaled or even particularly cared for writing for that matter. I initially started this blog to get revenge but decided that that wasn't the greatest idea after all but decided to keep the blog because it would be a good outlet for venting...and that's how most people use a blog anyway.

So, on to a little venting.

I'm fairly sure I only told about three people who I know in real life about my blog and I don't think any of them read it, so the ones I'm going to bitch about most likely won't be reading this. And if they do, I don't think I give a flying fuck at this point. Plus, I make everything I write about vague enough as it is.

One thing about me is that I'm loyal almost to a fault. If I become close friends with anyone, I'm a friend for life, unless of course, you fuck me over or are a completely self absorbed, one way street who couldn't give five minutes of attention to anyone except your own pompous, arrogant self.

I have know these two people for 15 and 13 years, respectively. The first since high school and the second since university. What really pisses me off is that I have known how self absorbed they both are for almost as long as I've known them but I've always been the one to go the extra mile to stay in touch or whatever, so that is my problem. Like I said, loyal to a fault. But now I'm quite tired of it.

I'd almost thrown in the towel, but last year they sent me a Facebook invite and I grudgingly accepted. I was so pissed off that I nearly didn't accept; I hadn't heard anything from them in almost a year and a half up until then despite my having emailed on numerous occasions. I mean, come on! Who the fuck doesn't have time to respond to an email! I really had given up, then, the stupid invite and I got sucked back into it.

I really have had it, though. These are people who are notorious for never following through on anything that they say. If they say that they are going invite you to something, don't hold your breath. The invite will never come. If they say they are going to call you back? Forget it. Don't wait by the phone; that call will never come. One time I made an international long distance call to them and they told me that they couldn't talk because they had friends over. What the fuck?! You see those friends every week but you don't have time for me when I'm paying for the fucking call? Oh, hell no.

I'm done with it. The very last straw was recently when I sent an email and got a very smug, condescending reply. One thing I really can't stand is smugness. So the both of you can fuck the hell off.