The Prime Suspect

For the last three days, I've been diligently working in the back yard to get the bougainvillea "hedge" under control.  Since bougainvillea is technically a vine, it tends to grow very long "branches" that can easily get totally out of hand.  And if that isn't bad enough, bougainvillaea is thorny like barbed wire and requires great care when dealing with it or else you will get cut all to hell.  Even then, you still manage to get cut up.

Since it has been getting dark ridiculously early, I've only been working on it for maybe three hours each day.  It's a painstaking process due to the thorns.  I cut a few "branches" while up on a ladder and then try to avoid getting cut up while throwing them to the ground.  After that, when I have a few on the ground, I have to climb down from the ladder and carefully pick up the branches and cut them into smaller pieces to fit into the trash bin.  Then repeat the whole process all the way down the length of the yard.  Wednesday, I did this for maybe 2 1/2 hours because it was a bit hot. Thursday I spent a little over three hours because it was much cooler and breezy.  Then Friday it was back to hottish but it was overcast and there was a breeze. 

When I went out back on Thursday, I noticed something a bit odd.  The ground next to the concrete floor of the kennel was all tilled up.  At first I though maybe the stray cats in the neighborhood had been using the area for their litter box but upon closer inspection it looked like something had been rooting around with its snoot.
Must've been a possum!  Poor little buggers must be running out of food since we're between avocado and mango season.  The avocados are done for the season and the mangoes have just started to blossom.  Now the possums are having to search for grubs and worms.

In other news, I sucked it up and called my dad for Christmas.  It didn't go too badly to my relief. (Of course he didn't buy me anything or offer to.) Then he calls me up yesterday and wants to know if I want to go bowling with him and some other guy and his next door neighbor today at 9:30 am.  I didn't want to go anyway but especially not that early in the morning!  Hell, I'm not even awake at 9:30 in the morning.  I certainly wasn't aware of the bowling alley being open that early, either.  My dad is nuts.  He gets up at like 5 am and then gets mad if restaurants aren't open yet for breakfast.  I guess he'll just have to go to the 24 hour Denny's.  LOL

Have a *Merry* Christmas!

If I had a tree made up of Heinekens, I'd definitely be having a *Merry* Christmas!  But alas, I don't have a Heinie tree.  I don't have much holiday cheer this year.  My life kinda sucks and I feel like I don't even exist.  I won't be receiving any gifts this year, not because I was particularly awful, but because there's no one to give me anything.

Now, what a horrible post this is!  I start off wishing you a Merry Christmas then I immediately get depressing and mopey.  Ah, well, such is life.

There was an interesting program on a while ago about Christmas markets in Germany.  It was pretty cool.  We don't have anything like that over here.  There was this one village that they said Disney modeled the Pinocchio village on.  It was too cute.  And then there were all the stands selling Christmas mulled wine.  That's a sure way to have a good time...getting more and more sloshed as you go!  I'm not really one for getting full-on blitzed but I don't mind getting just a wee bit tipsy.  Then I get silly and giggly and limp and...

Dammit!  Always some old woman to come along and interrupt me while I'm trying to write something here.  Now I've lost my train of thought.  I had to go bung the ham in the oven and be micromanaged while I did it.  Like throwing a ham in the oven is...

Bloody hell!  Freakin' old people!  Again!  I'm just gonna hafta come back to this in a while...

Screw it!  This is impossible while the old woman is wandering around.  Merry Christmas and see ya later!

I have a few pairs of boots.

I like boots and there is nothing wrong with that.  Okay, four pairs there are technically *not* boots.  There are 11 pairs of Dr. Martens in there.  I have a bit of a thing for Doc's.  They are comfy and they have a special sole that prevents you from busting your ass on slippery or greasy floors.  And should the need arise to give someone a swift kick they are also excellent for that as well. 

Celebrity Sighting of Sorts

Today I was dragged to stupid Sam's Club up in Sunrise so that my mother could buy a bunch of crap that she doesn't need.  I was pissed because I don't like spending money unnecessarily and doubly pissed because my mother drives slow and like Mr. Magoo.  When we got to the Sam's and were walking in at the entrance, I looked through the window and who should I see?  None other than the King of Kong.  I was like, "Holy shit!  It's the King of Kong!"  My mother was like, "Who?"  "Over by the service desk.  The guy dressed in all black!"  "Who?  The guy with the long hair?"  "YES!"

Normally I'm like a savant when it comes to remembering names but due to my unfortunate brain aneurysm some years ago, I no longer have instant recall.  All I could remember at the moment was King of Kong.  Then a few seconds later I could remember that his name was something Mitchell.  Then a minute or so later it all came back.  Billy Mitchell!  I tried to explain to my mother that he was a minor celebrity of sorts to a certain segment of nerddom.  He was at one time the all time highest scorer on Donkey Kong and also owns the Rickey's hot sauce company.  It was kinda neat to recognize someone when everyone else in the store likely had no clue who he was.

Role Models

When I was a kid I absolutely loved this show.  The family was awesome and quite the opposite of my own family.  They were loving and accepting in a creepy and kooky way and very fun-loving.  And the house totally ruled in so many ways that would appeal to a kid.  I wanted to live in a house like that so, so badly.  What's not to like?  Check out the playroom, for example:

Just look at all the cool stuff in there!  Deer antlers,  Bed of Nails,  Iron Maiden,  Stocks,  Suit of Armor with Halberd,  Book Press(for relieving headaches),  Antler Chair,  Kegs of ?????,  Rocking Ugly One-Horn Mule(bonus points if you know which classic 80's fantasy movie UOHM reference is from) and Cool Light Fixtures.  Now chech out the living room(I have numbered the awesome things because they're a bit hard to identify in black and white):

1)  Taxidermy Marlin with Leg sticking out of mouth

2)  Taxidermy Bear

3)  Taxidermy Moose with twisted antlers

4)  Giant Tortoise

5)  Harpsichord

6)  Japanese Samurai Armor

7)  Awesome Animal Horn Char

8)  Elephant Foot Waste Basket

I'm pretty sure that seeing all this cool stuff as a kid greatly influenced my tastes in unusual items and curios.  This was the sort of lifestyle that I wanted to live.  And who the heck wouldn't want to have a great relationship like Gomez and Morticia?

It was very obvious that they were absolutely *mental* for each other.  I'd like to have a playful, grand romance like that.  I've already got a pretty good repertoire of pet names,  I just need an awesome guy to use them on!  And by awesome I mean one who shares my unusual tastes and likes to have fun even if it's with something strange and unusual like dressing in armor and having an enthusiastic sword fight or practicing judo on each other or wrecking model trains or keeping carnivorous plants or dancing the tango or the waltz or... well, you get the idea.  Who wouldn't want to have a solid marriage like that?

I'm creepy and I'm kooky and I make an excellent gingerbread!

I was going to post on the Addams Family tonight but I decided to make my gingerbread a bit earlier today and it was such a success that I just had to post about it! Even Miss 'I-Don't-Like-Gingerbread' put a serious dent into it and said that it was delicious. Normally she would find something to criticize but it was so superior and excellent that she was at a loss. And the best thing about it? Not only did I have all the ingredients at hand but it only took around 5 minutes to put all the ingredients together and with a minimum of fuss. I used my big stainless steel mixing bowl to mix everything in and used a big fork to do the mixing. A couple measuring cups and measuring spoons and one other small bowl for mixing an egg was used so clean-up took all of 5 minutes.

The only thing was the recipe called for a certain amount of spices but when I tasted the batter it wasn't spicy enough for me so I shook a goodly quantity more of ginger and cinnamon into the batter. That did the trick! Then 30 minutes to bake. The only thing was my smallest baking pan was a little too large for the quantity of batter so the gingerbread came out a bit on the thin side. That was okay, though, because I just slathered some vanilla frosting on one piece and topped it with another piece and it was then normal size--but with frosting in the middle! Yum!

So it seems as though I am pretty good at this baking business. I don't think that I will ever buy anything store bought again as long as it is something that I can make at home for a fraction of the price. And as long as I'm doing the making I know exactly what all the ingredients are.

Girl Scout: Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies?

Wednesday: Are they made with real girl scouts?

OUAT Posters

Since my favorite serial is on hiatus for Christmas break, I'll just have to amuse myself with making various posters.  Here are two that I've come up with so far.

The second one is a spoof on those Happy Bunny shirts.  I'm going to play around with making an Evil Regals parking sign, too.  I think it'll say something like "Evil Regals Parking Only, All Others Will Have Their Hearts Ripped Out" or some such thing.

It turns out that I correctly guessed the identity of the Queen of Hearts.  I figured it out in the first season ever since the Hat Trick episode.  I thought it was pretty obvious.

Anyhoo, perhaps my next post will be on the Addams Family.  I'm still working on some things for that short story that I started.  It needs to be cool.  I don't like publishing just any old crap!  LOL

Holiday Family Gathering Awkwardness

Whenever you start to dread the holidays because your family is so effed up, just imagine for one moment what the holidays would be like for Henry of OUAT.  He must really have a fun time!  Consider his family tree:

Emma is Henry's mother and is Snow and Charming's daughter, so Snow and Charming are Henry's grandparents. Okay, easy enough.

Regina is Henry's adoptive mother, but she is also Snow's stepmother so that makes her Emma's grandmother, Henry's great-grandmother, and Charming's mother in law.  All at the same time. Therefore Regina is Henry's mom and great-grandmother.  O_o

Then we have Cora, who is Regina's mother, and can be considered Snow's grandmother, Emma's great-grandmother and Henry's great-great-grandmother. And because Regina adopted Henry, he is also Cora's grandson.  Hmmm.

The same happens with Henry senior.  He is Henry's great-great-grandfather due to Regina's marriage, and is also his grandfather because Henry is Regina's son.

And if Bae turns out to be Henry's dad, then Rumps is Henry's grandfather along with Charming, and Milah is Henry's grandmother.  In this scenario we can also think of Rumps as Emma's father in law, even though she is no longer with Bae (if it turns out that Neal is Bae).

We can also think of Hook as some kind of "step grandfather" to Henry because of his relationship with Milah, and is therefore Bae's "step father" which leads us to Hook being the boyfriend of Bae's mother and almost like Emma's "father in law."  Hook was flirting with Emma who used to be Bae's girlfriend, the son of his girlfriend.  Awkward.

Then there's the cringe worthy wrongness between Hook and Cora.

In the last episode, Cora, in full tilt cougar mode, goes all S&M on Hook making the rock walls come alive and restrain his arms.  Then she yanks the hook out of his stump and then uses it to slowly push open his shirt, revealing his luxurious chest pelt, which she clearly desired. Will she give him a bit of a nuzzle and go NOM, NOM, NOM or will she revert to type and rip out his heart?  Ew.  Step grandpa and grandma/great-great-grandma flirting with each other is so, so wrong.

Also, King George can be seen as Charming's father, which will make him Emma's grandfather and Henry's great-grandfather.  Although Charming's bio-parents are Henry's real great-grandparents, as well as Snow's bio-mom being Henry's grandmother.

And because Regina married Leopold and Snow being her step-daughter, that would make Henry and Snow brother and sister by adoption/marriage.  O_o

Yeah, that's one effed up fairy tale family tree.  And makes for lots of awkwardness around the dinner table for the holidays!  And the best part is if the arguments get too intense, then Rumps, Cora, and Regina can blast each other and anyone else with Dark Magic or rip out some hearts.  Fairy Tale Land is better than any trailer park or soap opera!  LOL