Friday, November 30, 2012

What is best in life?


To crush your Palmetto Bugs, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.   Mua-hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

So far, Xul 1,  Palmettos 0.  The Borax potion seems to be working.  I found three roach corpses and haven't seen any live ones since I put out the baits.  Winning!

Soooooo, have you crushed your enemies today?

Monday, November 26, 2012

Regina is not the only one who knows how to whip up a potion.

If you live anywhere in the Southeast of this country, then Palmetto Bugs are likely the bane of your existence.  I have been lucky the last several years because my house has not had any Palmetto Bugs since it was last fumigated for termites.  Seems I got a bit of a two-for-one deal out of that.  Well, it was nice while it lasted.  Now I've noticed that the little bastards have returned.  I started noticing one here and there a couple months ago.  The worst part is knowing that if you see one there are likely hundreds more lurking in the walls, under the lower cabinets and appliances, and God knows where else.  The last straw was when the little bastards started trying to eat their way into my vegetable shortening can.

So that did it.  Last straw.  And I can't stay up all night to try to spray them when they come out so I decided to whip up a little death potion for them.  I remember reading a long time ago that boric acid will kill roaches and that you can make dough balls as bait.  So I did a little web search to refresh my memory and sure enough!  I had remembered correctly that you can mix Borax together with some flour and add a bit of water to it and mix it until it forms a dough.  Then roll bits of the poison dough into little balls the size of a large marble and strategically place them in the cabinets and under the appliances.  Sure enough, just after I did this the other night, the next day when I checked, the bait-balls had been chewed on.  I was delighted!  The stupid things *will* eat anything!

From what I read,  Palmetto Bugs have a longer maturation and gestation period than German roaches so it takes a bit longer to kill off the Palmettos.  (As an aside, as bad as Palmetto Bugs are, it is waaaaay better to have them than German roaches.  German roaches multiply like rabbits and literally get into everything and are NASTY!)  So with my Roach Killing Potion I'm looking at a couple months until total eradication.  That's fine with me.  I'm a patient killer of roaches.

Now to go in a slightly different direction.  Last night's episode of OUAT was pretty good.  There were a couple subtle things that I picked up on that could lead to future awesomeness.  Firstly, the scene where Regina was whipping up the Sleeping Curse potion to put Charming under so he could deliver the message to Snow.  I liked when Henry comes up to her and says, "So this is how you do it."  He seemed intrigued.  It seems like there is a potential for future bonding with him and Regina. (And if the hand holding was any clue.)  Maybe he'll cut her a bit of slack.  Then the scene where Emma says that this is all Regina's fault.  I see future dickishness from Emma toward Regina and maybe it somehow turns Henry off from Emma a bit and more toward Regina.  After all, Regina is trying to reform and is actually doing something good.  Now Emma(when she and the crew finally return from Fairy Tail Land) is going to be acting like an ass toward Regina for no apparent reason.  It's going to make Regina look better in Henry's eyes, in my opinion.  It would be cool if he got seduced a bit into the Dark Side.  It would make for a good story line.  And I must say, Barbara Hershey is absolutely terrifyingly evil in the role of Cora.  She, Lana Parrilla, and Robert Carlyle are such scene stealers!

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Worst of the Worst

When it comes to being the worst of the worst, Miami leads the way in all the negative categories. Whether it's the Worst Drivers, Rudest People, Most Identity Theft, you name it, if it's something bad, Miami excels at it. And I'm pretty sure if you did a study on the worst dressed people in the country, Miami would come out at the top...or bottom as it were.

Today I witnessed some serious eye-bleach worthy sights while sitting in a parking lot. *Tons* of bipedal hippos bursting their clothing with layer upon layer of blubber. Fat women wearing jeans so tight they looked like they were air brushed on, revealing all their cottage cheese cellulite bumps and jello rolls. Middle-age, out-of-shape women wearing short shorts and dressed like pre-teens. And the most ridiculous: the car parked next to mine had a guy wearing pajamas sitting in it. And to top that off, a few minutes later, here comes his female companion with a cart full of crap and she's wearing her pajamas and bedroom slippers. I shit you not. And this was about 5pm so there's no excuse.

I was most certainly overdressed by these people's standards. I probably looked freakish to them in my slim-fitted cashmere sweater and properly fitted slacks. I just can't get over how people will go out so slovenly looking into public places.  Go here for more examples.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Strange Incident

Last night I had to make a quick trip to the grocery store a few blocks away to get a few things and especially some onions, or else the Thanksgiving meal wouldn't taste so good.  Well, the bagged onions that were on sale were tiny and looked terrible--all full of black stuff and some bad ones.  So I was forced to buy three loose ones.  They cost a wee bit more but at least they were big and I could pick the ones I wanted.  I got the rest of my items and proceeded to the checkout.  The store was really busy since it's just before Thanksgiving but at least that store keeps all the registers open during peak hours.

While I was standing in line, two guys came up behind me with their cart--a tall dark-haired guy and a shorter, bald, fat guy.  They were having a conversation about some relative by marriage who seemed like a real shady loser.  The tall guy was saying that this loser only wanted to steal equipment from him and that he gave him $40 to put gas in the truck but he only put $5 and stole the rest.  They were speaking in English but had accents.  I figured that they were Hispanic of some variety.  Then the tall guy asked me if the cart that was off to the side of the register belonged to me.  I told him I think it was there for the check-out girl to put returns/abandoned items in.  Then, since I was still steamed about the incident the other day with the idiot at the other store, I told the tall guy that I just had and argument with a guy over an abandoned cart just the other day.  Then the tall guy says to me, "Oh, you look like you probably kicked his ass!"  (LOL Very perceptive, no?)  Then he says to me that I look like someone who is very intellectual. (Wow, this guy is either psychic or I'm really projecting some serious body language.)  He said something about 'he was too' and that he was ????(I don't remember what profession he said), and that I look like I don't suffer fools.  No, I can't stand foolish people.  Then he asks me if I know what ????(some foreign word) means.  I said no.  Then he asked me if I spoke French, to which I replied with my standard answer to that question, "Je ne parle pas français." 

By this time, the cashier was already starting to ring up my items(most of the cashiers at this particular store are Haitian and speak French Creole).  Then the cashier says to me, "But you said that perfectly!"  Then I started to explain that that is part of the joke, that I don't actually speak French but I can say I don't speak French perfectly in French.  Then the tall guy started saying something about being sexy to which I replied...and this is the strange bit, because the words just came out of my mouth like my mouth was on auto-pilot and had a mind of its own..."Je suis beaucoup."  Now the cashier was really amused since allegedly I don't speak French but it was somehow coming out of my mouth.  I was getting a bit embarrassed because obviously this guy was flirting with me and now I'm having some kind of weird out of body experience where I'm suddenly doing what seemed like flirting in French.  It was all very strange.  Much to my relief, the cashier finished ringing me up and I paid and wished them all Happy Thanksgiving and left.

Now this begs the question, have any of you ever had such a weird experience where words just start coming out of your mouth and you seemingly didn't have any control over saying them?  It was soooo weird.  I really don't speak French.  I know a few words and phrases but it's hardly the same as speaking it fluently.  Maybe I've watched too many French movies and it's all built up in my subconscious and comes busting loose when it's needed.  Who knows?  It was just so weird.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Look What I Found!

Just add one Arekino!  Then I could make some extra moolah by pimping him out at the Ren Fests he could fulfill his destiny at the Elf Fantasy Fair!  Huzzah!  What a win!

I also discovered the mother load of beers and ales and ciders and expensive imported cheeses and pâtés!  The old Winn Dixie in Hallendale Beach got remodeled into a fancy-shmancy Winn Dixie and haz all da gourmet shizzles and bizzles!  Woo-hoo!!!  Now I just need a jobbie-poo so I can buy all those goodies.  

Thursday, November 15, 2012

First Installment

Okay, just to prove that I'm actually working on that little short story that I mentioned, here's what I've got so far. You'll just have to get it on an installment plan. I got the gist of the story in my head and a couple ideas written down. Now I just have to come up with the details. I guess I'll do that as I go along. It'll be one of those types of stories where you find out more and more about the characters as the story progresses.  I'm not just going to lay it all out in the first few paragraphs. ;) 

 Kasteel Raafberg Ren Fest

"Come on, Vin, I can't believe you!  They're making it free for residents this year and you still aren't going to go?" said Kat incredulously.

"Well, it's not really my kinda thing, it's more of your kinda thing," replied Vin.

"Damn straight, Vinnie baby!  If I was there you KNOW I'd be going and I'd be dragging your butt along, too!  Ya know, it wouldn't hurt you to get out some.  You'd think you'd be tired of being alone all the time.  All you ever do is go to work, the library, and for walks.  Live a little, babe!"

"I don't mind being alone.  At least no one's bothering me.  And there's nothing wrong with going to the library.  I like the library.  Lots of interesting books and DVDs to keep me busy."

"Well, that's all well and fine, Vin, but it wouldn't hurt you to get out and do something different for once."

"Okay, I'll think about it.  I'll talk to ya later then."

"Fine, Vin.  But you still need to go and then you can tell me all about it!  LOL  Alright, see ya laterz!"

:::Signs off chat:::

And that's how it was for Vincent.  He was a shy sort of guy.  Aside from his family he didn't really have many friends except for Kat, his friend from the internet.  She was a real hoot, though.  She was the sort of person who could really shake up Vincent's quiet little life if it wasn't for the fact that she lived half a world away.

Kat did sci-fi and fantasy artwork as a hobby and was quite enamored with comic-cons and renaissance festivals.  It was Kat who found the website for the Ren Fest in Vincent's town.  Hell,  Vincent lived in that town all his life and never once had he been up to the castle.  He didn't think much of it.  Only tourists went to go see that moldy old castle.  But besides the castle, there wasn't much going on in the town of Raafberg.  It was a little out of the way place.  It wasn't even along the way to anywhere.

"Maybe Kat is right,"  thought Vincent.  "I guess it wouldn't hurt to go check it out.  At least they're letting residents get in free this year.  And it's only a couple kilometers walk through the woods for me.  I wouldn't even have to bother trying to find parking up there."
To be continued...

Monday, November 12, 2012

One of my missions in life... to go to this.  I'm sitting here in stunned amazement because I didn't think that that Castle could possibly get any cooler.  I swear that that right there is going on my bucket list IMMEDIATELY and I WILL be going to it in full costume some time in the future.

Anyway, here's a little poem:  

There is a knight who rides through the wood,
   And a hardy knight is he.
And sure he is on a mission sent,
   He rides so hastily.
He passes the oak, and he passes the birch,
   And he passes many a tree,
But pleasant to him was the willow so slim,
   For beneath it he did see
The bonniest lady that he ever saw,
   She with skin so fair,
And there she sat, beneath the bough,
  Combing her golden hair.
And the knight- "Oh lady bright,
   What chance has brought you here?
But say the word, and you shall go
   Back to your kindred dear."
Then up and spoke the lady fair-
   "I have no friends or kin,
But in a little boat I live,
   Amidst the waves' loud din."
Then answered thus the hardy knight-
   "I'll follow you through all,
For gone you be in a little boat,
   The world must seem so small."
They went through the wood, and still through the wood,
   To the end of the wood they came,
And when they came to the end of the wood
   They saw the salt sea foam.
And then they saw the wee, wee, boat,
   That danced on top of the wave,
And first got in the lady fair,
   And then the knight so brave,
They got into the wee, wee boat,
   And rowed with all their might;
When the knight so brave, he turned about,
   And looked at the lady bright;
He looked at her bonny cheek,
   And he looked at her two bright eyes,
Both her rosy cheeks grew ghastly pale,
   And she seemed as though she died.
The poor, poor knight grew pale with fright,
   And his hair rose up on end,
For gone-by days came to his mind,
   And his former love he kenned.
Then spake the lady- "Thou false knight,
   Hast done to me much ill,
Thou didst forsake me long ago,
   But I am constant still;
For though I live in the woods so cold,
   At rest I cannot lie
Until I suck the good life blood
   Of the man that made me die."
He saw her lips were wet with blood,
   And he saw her lifeless eyes,
And loud he cried,  "Get from my side,
   Thou vampire corpse unclean!"
But no, he is in her magic boat,
   And on the wide, wide sea;
And the vampire sucks his good life blood,
   She sucks him til he die.
So now beware, whoever you are,
   That walks in this lone wood:
Beware of that deceitful sprite,
   The ghost that sucks the blood.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Story Time!

This is not a Once Upon A Time story because this story is ongoing.  If you go about two miles due north of where I live, there is a little park called Snake Warrior's Island.  It was only a few years ago that this piece of land became a park.  For as long as I can remember, it was a dairy farm with a small wooded area at the north-east corner of the property that had bee hives.  And just to the north of that is an athletic field.

Now, for as long as I can remember, people in the know said that the wooded area was haunted because it was an Indian burial ground.  I had always assumed that it was Seminoles buried there, but no!  When the first white settlers started coming here in the late 1800's, the Seminoles were already complaining that it was a wicked place and would no longer go there.  It was reported that strange lights could be seen moving up and down in the night sky, presumably spirits.

Today, this whole area looks way, way, different than it originally did.  A night and day difference, actually.  Before this area was developed, it was a mixture of wetlands interspersed with sandy, higher ground "islands" mainly covered in ancient oak groves.  The area that I live in was known as Honey Hill(the street a bit north of where I live bears that name) and what is currently known as Snake Warrior's Island was called Little Honey Hill.  Even as a child I remember there being wetlands just on the south side of County Line Road.  Now, it has all been filled in with mountains of dirt and several car lots sit there.  The Indians would hardly recognize the place.  The only feature that is somewhat the same is Snake Creek, although it has been made into a canal.

As I said, the first white settlers didn't come here until the late 1800's.  Chitto Tustenuggee(Snake Warrior) and the first Seminoles came at around 1828 and stayed around 30 to 40 years.  But hundreds of years before them, this area was inhabited by the Calusa and Tequesta Indians.  They were a primitive and savage people.  The first Europeans to make contact with them were the early Spanish explorers.  None wanted to have anything to do with them because of their barbarism.  These Indians would torture and murder shipwreck survivors, scalp and dismember their slain enemies, and practiced human sacrifice.  They even sacrificed their own children when one of their chieftains died.  They were even accused of being cannibals.  So it is possible that Snake Warrior's island was a place of human sacrifice and it is the spirits of the dead that can be seen rising between the ground and the sky, doomed to haunt that spot for all eternity!  Mua-hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!