Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Here We Go Again

Alright now, this is getting to be totally ridiculous, especially when instead of blogging about important things like my garden I'm once again having to report yet another crime happening literally right in front of my own house.

Ridiculous. Abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous.

The cops are still out in front of my place even as I'm sitting here typing this.

So this time, oh about 9 pm-ish, I hear a loud noise outside and then my pit bull starts going totally apeshit. I didn't think anything of it, just figured it was the indigenous arseholes being arseholes. About a half hour later, I get up from watching the tv to take the garbage out, open my front door and what do we have here? Yes. Cop cars all over the place and officers walking around out by the street with their flashlights, apparently looking for something.

Well, one of the officers saw me and came up to ask if I had seen or heard anything. I told him what ya see up there on the previous paragraph. He says to me, "Well, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but since it happened right in front of your house... a lady was walking home from the bus stop around the corner when she was approached by two black males. They tried to grab her purse and she fought back. One of them shot her in the upper chest/shoulder area."


I called my neighbor across the street to find out if she saw anything. The whole incident is what she saw. It turns out it was a friend of the lady who lives a few houses down on the other side from me. She was visiting from Trinidad.

Such a nice way to remember your trip to Florida, eh?

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Fun and Games Update

So, I just found out what all the commotion was about outside El Castillo de Xul last week. Seems that the neighbor's hoodlum kid was involved in an armed robbery and car jacking. The genius came running back home to mommy with the cops in pursuit. A police dog mauled him up pretty good, hence the ambulance. Won't be seeing him no more. Buh-bye, ya little scum bag!

Easily Distracted, Changes Post Subject

Ok, so before I get to the meat of this post, I'd just like to say that that show Mobile Home Disaster on CMT is totally awesome! I so don't know what it is about white trash folk that I find so amusing; the completely awesome lack of sophistication? The low rent eccentricities? The total lack of couth? Whatever it is, it makes for great television(see Country Fried Home Videos). Like tonight's episode. The trailer is not just a wreck... it's haunted, too!


I was going to get all conceited here and yack about my obvious hotness, but I prefer to gloat over my finagling super skills.

So. I've been watching quite a lot of Marlins' baseball recently since they haven't been totally sucking and have decided that I need to get out to the ballpark to see some games live. I only live like five minutes from there, anyway. So I was mentioning this to a girl at work, K, who just so happens to have a friend who works for this millionaire dude who just so happens to have box seats for the Marlins.

So K is like, "Oh! I haven't been to a game since last season! Ya know, S's boss has box seats!" (erm, I sooo know!) "I gotta see if S can ask her boss if we can use his seats since he's going to Vegas for the next three weeks!"


Sunday, June 08, 2008

It's All Fun And Games Until...

Ok, ok, ok. Fuck it, I'm just going to go ahead and write something since I've been very slack indeed this past month.

It seems that down here we've been having shoot outs and what-not on an almost weekly basis. It kind of goes with the territory since S. Fla has become one enormous ghetto. It gets to be rather mundane until you start getting caught up in it.

Like I said, it's all fun and games until... someone shoots a cop...then everyone becomes a hostage for 4 hours! Wheeeee!!!!! Doesn't that sound fun now?

Anyway, about three Sundays ago, I was at a birthday party over in N.Miami, not terribly far from my house. Ho-hum, yawny-yawny type thing. At one point, one of the other guests says to me that there are cops all over the place directly outside the kitchen. Since the guest of honour hadn't arrived yet and the party was a bit boring, a bunch of us went out to investigate.

There was one cop car blocking anyone from going down 170th and there were 2 K-9 units with officers going around all the houses with the dogs.(This is a residential area, mixed with orthodox Jews, Hispanics, Haitians)

We figured they were looking for robbers since everyday down here someone is robbing something. So we're watching the police activity when suddenly, "BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG,BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!!!!!!!!!" There had to have been at least 30 shots fired.

A freakin' shootout, right there! Right in front of us! The cops must have emptied there clips into the guy. Then we see 4 cops carrying another officer who apparently got shot. They carried him to the end of the street and laid him down behind a police car.

Well, then it just turned into a freaking clusterfuck after that. The cops blocked off the whole area. My car was 3 feet within the taped off perimeter so I couldn't go anywhere or even go to the vehicle. They had 2 SWAT armoured trucks there and like every cop in N. Miami out there. There must've been 20 fully armoured SWAT guys with M-16's. They thought there was a third guy on the loose.

It was ridiculous. I heard from and old Jewish guy that it was 2 "schwartzers" trying to break into a house.

Anyway, we were stuck for 2 hours after SWAT got there. 4 hours in total. It really sucked because you weren't allowed to leave. The news reported it as "A Neighborhood Held Hostage" and that's exactly what it was.

When we finally were allowed to leave and I got home to see the news, the story was 2 black teenagers, one 17, one 18, tried to break into a bunch of houses armed with a crowbar and a 9mm. One of the neighbors called the cops. The K-9 units found them hiding in someone's back yard. That's when the 18 y/o decided that it would be a brilliant idea to open fire on the cops. The cops turned him into bloody swiss cheese. One officer was shot 3 times and the dog was hit once.

Now, what really pissed me off was when the head of the police union got on the tv and was crying about how the PD is short staffed and out gunned and this incident just proves it. THE FUCK? There were like 300 cops out there, standing around yacking it up for well over 3 hours after the shooting happened. The SWAT guys were more heavily armed than Navy SEALS. There were freakin' helicopters flying around and everything. It was like Beirut. Yes. Pay them more money to stand around after all the action is over.

Never a dull moment in the M.I.A.! Fuck no!

And if that wasn't enough, last week I had an almost repeat performance in front of my own house; cops parked in my front drive, more down the block, and some around the corner. Ambulances. Fire trucks. Fucking helicopters buzzing least there wasn't any shooting. What was going down? Who the fuck knows! Status fucking quo.