Strange Incident
Last night I had to make a quick trip to the grocery store a few blocks away to get a few things and especially some onions, or else the Thanksgiving meal wouldn't taste so good. Well, the bagged onions that were on sale were tiny and looked terrible--all full of black stuff and some bad ones. So I was forced to buy three loose ones. They cost a wee bit more but at least they were big and I could pick the ones I wanted. I got the rest of my items and proceeded to the checkout. The store was really busy since it's just before Thanksgiving but at least that store keeps all the registers open during peak hours.
While I was standing in line, two guys came up behind me with their cart--a tall dark-haired guy and a shorter, bald, fat guy. They were having a conversation about some relative by marriage who seemed like a real shady loser. The tall guy was saying that this loser only wanted to steal equipment from him and that he gave him $40 to put gas in the truck but he only put $5 and stole the rest. They were speaking in English but had accents. I figured that they were Hispanic of some variety. Then the tall guy asked me if the cart that was off to the side of the register belonged to me. I told him I think it was there for the check-out girl to put returns/abandoned items in. Then, since I was still steamed about the incident the other day with the idiot at the other store, I told the tall guy that I just had and argument with a guy over an abandoned cart just the other day. Then the tall guy says to me, "Oh, you look like you probably kicked his ass!" (LOL Very perceptive, no?) Then he says to me that I look like someone who is very intellectual. (Wow, this guy is either psychic or I'm really projecting some serious body language.) He said something about 'he was too' and that he was ????(I don't remember what profession he said), and that I look like I don't suffer fools. No, I can't stand foolish people. Then he asks me if I know what ????(some foreign word) means. I said no. Then he asked me if I spoke French, to which I replied with my standard answer to that question, "Je ne parle pas français."
By this time, the cashier was already starting to ring up my items(most of the cashiers at this particular store are Haitian and speak French Creole). Then the cashier says to me, "But you said that perfectly!" Then I started to explain that that is part of the joke, that I don't actually speak French but I can say I don't speak French perfectly in French. Then the tall guy started saying something about being sexy to which I replied...and this is the strange bit, because the words just came out of my mouth like my mouth was on auto-pilot and had a mind of its own..."Je suis beaucoup." Now the cashier was really amused since allegedly I don't speak French but it was somehow coming out of my mouth. I was getting a bit embarrassed because obviously this guy was flirting with me and now I'm having some kind of weird out of body experience where I'm suddenly doing what seemed like flirting in French. It was all very strange. Much to my relief, the cashier finished ringing me up and I paid and wished them all Happy Thanksgiving and left.
Now this begs the question, have any of you ever had such a weird experience where words just start coming out of your mouth and you seemingly didn't have any control over saying them? It was soooo weird. I really don't speak French. I know a few words and phrases but it's hardly the same as speaking it fluently. Maybe I've watched too many French movies and it's all built up in my subconscious and comes busting loose when it's needed. Who knows? It was just so weird.
While I was standing in line, two guys came up behind me with their cart--a tall dark-haired guy and a shorter, bald, fat guy. They were having a conversation about some relative by marriage who seemed like a real shady loser. The tall guy was saying that this loser only wanted to steal equipment from him and that he gave him $40 to put gas in the truck but he only put $5 and stole the rest. They were speaking in English but had accents. I figured that they were Hispanic of some variety. Then the tall guy asked me if the cart that was off to the side of the register belonged to me. I told him I think it was there for the check-out girl to put returns/abandoned items in. Then, since I was still steamed about the incident the other day with the idiot at the other store, I told the tall guy that I just had and argument with a guy over an abandoned cart just the other day. Then the tall guy says to me, "Oh, you look like you probably kicked his ass!" (LOL Very perceptive, no?) Then he says to me that I look like someone who is very intellectual. (Wow, this guy is either psychic or I'm really projecting some serious body language.) He said something about 'he was too' and that he was ????(I don't remember what profession he said), and that I look like I don't suffer fools. No, I can't stand foolish people. Then he asks me if I know what ????(some foreign word) means. I said no. Then he asked me if I spoke French, to which I replied with my standard answer to that question, "Je ne parle pas français."
By this time, the cashier was already starting to ring up my items(most of the cashiers at this particular store are Haitian and speak French Creole). Then the cashier says to me, "But you said that perfectly!" Then I started to explain that that is part of the joke, that I don't actually speak French but I can say I don't speak French perfectly in French. Then the tall guy started saying something about being sexy to which I replied...and this is the strange bit, because the words just came out of my mouth like my mouth was on auto-pilot and had a mind of its own..."Je suis beaucoup." Now the cashier was really amused since allegedly I don't speak French but it was somehow coming out of my mouth. I was getting a bit embarrassed because obviously this guy was flirting with me and now I'm having some kind of weird out of body experience where I'm suddenly doing what seemed like flirting in French. It was all very strange. Much to my relief, the cashier finished ringing me up and I paid and wished them all Happy Thanksgiving and left.
Now this begs the question, have any of you ever had such a weird experience where words just start coming out of your mouth and you seemingly didn't have any control over saying them? It was soooo weird. I really don't speak French. I know a few words and phrases but it's hardly the same as speaking it fluently. Maybe I've watched too many French movies and it's all built up in my subconscious and comes busting loose when it's needed. Who knows? It was just so weird.
posted by Xul at 5:36 PM
4 Comments:
You have excellent recall of conversations.
have any of you ever had such a weird experience where words just start coming out of your mouth and you seemingly didn't have any control over saying them?
Well, nothing in French but I guess I've had my foot-in-mouth moments. I choose to not remember those though.
Happy Thanksgiving!
You have excellent recall of conversations. Usually I don't. It was all just so odd that it stuck out in my brain. Another thing that the tall guy said to me that I failed to write in the post was that he asked me what my nationality was. Yeah, it was very shocking to meet an actual American in America. He said he'd lived here 22 years and I was the first American he'd met and a local at that. I think he was either exaggerating a bit or maybe he meant in this area or that store. That's just a bit more evidence of why living around here is so frustrating. I feel like a foreigner in my own country.
Anyway, a Happy Thanksgiving to you, too! (Even though it's not your holiday.) The bird is in the oven and the other sides were fixed last night. I tried the cranberry/raspberry sauce and didn't care for it at all. I'll definitely be taking it back. And I suspect that there *may* be some ass juice in there. ;P
other sides were fixed
Huh? Don't understand.
And I suspect that there *may* be some ass juice in there. ;P
Ah, yuck... Can't you use cranberry/raspberry jam/marmelade instead?
Bon appetit!
Huh? Don't understand Side dishes. The other things that are traditionally served with the turkey--mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans, stuffing with figs and walnuts, and pumpkin pie.
Can't you use cranberry/raspberry jam/marmelade instead? Cranberry sauce is not like a jam or marmelade. I don't know how to describe it, I guess it's more like a dense geletin made from cranberries. Traditionally, everyone likes Ocean Spray brand cranberry sauce out of the can--open the can, the contents slide out in the shape of the can, then slice into round slices. I accidently bought the one "with raspberry" and since I'd never had it before I decided to give it a try. Well, they should just stick to plain cranberry. The "with raspberry" is terrible IMO, but I'll eat it anyway. It's not inedible, just not the traditional flavor that I prefer.
Bon appetit! Aha! Channeling your inner Frenchman! Merci beaucoup!
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