Hockey Pictures

I finally got around to transferring the pictures that I took at hockey from my camera to my computer. So, I'm a slack fucker. Ya wanna make something of it?

This one is for Scottish W. Here's Jarome Iginla comin' right at cha! Scottish W gave me all kinds of shit the year the Bolts played the Flames for the Cup. I told him that the Bolts would win it in seven but he just wouldn't have any of it. And what happened? Yep. The Bolts won it in seven.

Pretty good seats, eh? Center ice, first row, balcony. That's what happens when you have the audacity to ask for specific seats even if you're getting in with a freebie voucher.

We went to a fight and a hockey game broke out! Sad to say, this was the most exciting thing to happen all game long. Tanner Glass vs Mark Smith. Most Panthers' games, including this one, are about as exciting as watching paint dry. Too much dump and chase, no fore checking, no back checking, shitty passing, and general lazy playing.

Chicken Man has seen enough. Why the fuck is this guy dressed as a chicken anyway? He should go hang out with Super Panther Man* up in the rafters.


*Super Panther Man is the name that Mrs. PA and I gave to this loser who comes dressed in tights and a cape to the games. TIGHTS! And a fucking CAPE! And the guy is a grown man(who never gets laid, I'd say).

Tis the Season...

...for pissing me off!!!! I fucking DETEST that song "Little St. Nick" by the Beach Boys. It's bad enough that they have to play it ten times a day on the radio, but now they have it on some stupid commercial for Coca Cola on TV. That's done it. I'm soooo over Christmas and all the bullshit that goes along with it- the crass commercialism and all the phony, happy-happy, nicey-nicey, nauseating shite! I bet no one can tell that Christmas is not my favorite holiday!

Christmas has been canceled, muthah-fuckah!!!

Of course, I haven't always hated Christmas. When I was a child I LOVED it! The anticipation would build up from just after Halloween until you almost couldn't stand it anymore. And then, finally, the day would arrive! Oh the joy in ripping the wrappings off of all those gifts!

Christmas is for children. They can enjoy it because they are unburdened by the reality of the real world.

Now then, back to the issue of all the annoying Christmas music that is played ad nauseum. I can't stand all the syrupy sweet crap. Totally not my style. So, presented for your perusal, is Xul's Top 10 Christmas Playlist.

• In at #10 we have an old skool klassic: "Christmas in Hollis" by Run DMC
• #9 "Sled Zeppelin" by Bob Rivers
• #8 "Christmas Tree on Fire" by Holly Golightly
  
• #7 "A Mad Russian's Christmas" by Trans Siberian Orchestra
  
• #6 "Christmas Eve/Sarajevo" by Trans Siberian Orchestra
  
• #5 "Hang Myself from the Tree" by The Vandals
  
• #4 "Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies" by The Vandals
  
• #3 "Oh Holy Night" as sung by Eric Cartman
  
• #2 "Father Christmas" by The Kinks (the line "Father Christmas, give us some money..." just about sums it all up!)
• And the #1 Christmas song according to Xul is... "Mistress for Christmas" by AC/DC (Not that I need or want a mistress for Christmas, I just appreciate the sentiment.)
  

Now then, isn't that much better! I'm not a total Grinch, am I? The stuff by The Vandals totally rocks! It's from the album Christmas with the Vandals: Oi to the World. It's worth buying. Anyhoo, I'm off to watch some football and knock a few back. So for what it's worth, have a really great Christmas you pack of cunts!!!

A Christmas Party, A Big Swedish Store, and Hockey

I've actually had quite the week so far, and it's only just Wednesday! Monday had the annual company Christmas party. One of the good things about where I work is they give us two parties per year (and not much else) so I make it a point to go to the Christmas party. It's usually at a nice restaurant in the Ft. L vicinity. This time it was at a fairly well known restaurant that is named after a tropical fruit on the "fancy schmancy" street downtown.

Well, let's just say I wasn't very impressed. I don't know who the arsehole is who picks the place where we go each year, but it just gets successively worse. (Last years was at some skanky little "dance on the tables" kitschy novelty joint.) First off, there's no parking downtown and if you're lucky enough to find a spot in one of the private lots it'll cost you a pretty penny. So having to pay for parking got me set off even before I stepped foot into the place.

Secondly, I was led to believe that the menu would be Latin food. It was not. I could have gotten better food at the local Denny's. It was the typical overrated and overpriced sort of thing you'd expect downtown (at least the company was footing the bill). The restaurant didn't seem to be prepared for all of us. The dining room we were in was too small to accommodate everyone. There weren't enough tables to sit at so half the people had to sit at the bar to eat their meals. And the service was horrendous. Everything just seemed to be very disorganized.

Then there was the little matter of my Swedish coworker who talked me into ordering that shite Presidente beer. "Oh! I love the stuff," he says. "You ought to try it! It's really good." Yeah, really good for a seething, cheap beer headache. Utter shite! Horrid, weak Dominican piss. Consider yourselves warned.

Now... onto Tuesday's events!

So, Mrs. PA and I had planned on going to hockey on Tuesday, which we did, but not before stopping at the new I-K-E-A!!! I've never been to one before and since I like those sorts of modern looking furnishings, I was fairly excited. It was a nice enough store but I can't for the life of me figure out why people get so fucking hysterical when they open up a new one. They had a couple chairs and a sofa that I liked, but for the most part it's just all cheaply made stuff from China. The best part of the place was the cafeteria and the other food place down stairs. Cheap, tasty food makes me happy. See, this post isn't all complaints!

Then onto the hockey game!!!

Since I totally rule, I scored us a couple vouchers for tickets, so we ended up paying $9 for regularly $62 seats. We played a little bit of shooting the puck before the game and then went in to watch the pre-game skate where I got many good pictures of both teams. The game itself was really boring. I don't know what it is with S. Fla. teams- all of them are terrible. At least during one of the intermissions I was lucky enough to finally catch one of the coupons that they drop from the big blimp while avoiding falling over the balcony. Free food at one of the local eateries! Sure, it doesn't beat the last time when I won the $162 second row seats, but at least it's something!

Well, the home team ended up losing because they couldn't hold on for the 10 seconds left in the game, but at least we had a fun evening out.

Hope this post hasn't been too boring!

Seems they grow on trees now

I just couldn't resist posting this picture. I have no idea who the woman is but she looks pleased with her discovery.

It's Nothing Personal

When I was growing up I'm sure we had ginger haired kids in school but I can't recall them being teased any more than anyone else. The one kid I DO remember being brutally teased was the girl who picked her nose and ate the boogers. That's fucking gross! You do stuff like that and you're pretty much bringing it upon yourself. But anyway, I'm getting myself side tracked. I'm not discussing booger eaters right now, I'm discussing gingers.

I am not attracted to ginger haired people. It's nothing personal, I just don't find it appealing. Strawberry blonde on women isn't so bad, neither is a darker shade of red. I just can't take that bright, orangey colour coupled with pale, freckled skin. It turns me right off. And get them sun burned? Oy! Cooked lobster red followed by the freckles turning a greenish hue. Blech.

My worst ginger story, the one that is permanently seared into my mind's eye, is...

My best friend from high school married a ginger haired guy. He's of Scottish descent. He's a lovely, articulate, well educated and well mannered guy and has a wicked sense of humour. I like him very much even if I do find him to be physically repulsive. For not only is he ginger haired but he is also terribly out of shape, complete with man breasts.

So this one particular day, I went over to their house for a visit. My friend opens the door and lets me in. Then, hubby comes waltzing out of the bedroom in all his shirtless glory! Oh. My. God. The most horrible image. All pasty-white flab with sparse, orangey-ginger chest hairs. I had such a visceral reaction that I had to immediately avert my eyes. I don't know if he picked up on how repulsed I was or not, but he did go and put on a shirt. Gawd, I couldn't help but imagine how he must look completely naked with ginger pubes, or the two of them having sex. It put me right off.

Like I said before, nothing personal, I just don't find that sort of thing attractive.