Donkey Bollix
Do you like to be frustrated? Do you like to torture yourself? Are you
a masochist? Do you like to be driven completely mental? If you
answered yes to any or all of these questions then maybe you should try
playing Donkey Kong! Yes, this classic arcade game will drive you
completely mental. It's so simple, yet so infuriatingly difficult to
win at.
I have made the mistake of thinking that I wanted to play some Donkey Kong. Ever since I saw the K of K at the freakin' Sam's Club I've had Donkey Kong rattling around down in the memory hole. So, stupidly, I looked up the free version online and found a site that has more than just the first level.
Well, I'm still as crappy a player as I was back in the 80's. I can only manage to get to the third level before I start spazzing out. And if that isn't bad enough, I've been playing Frogger, too. Same story with that one. I can only manage to get to the third level. Granted, Frogger doesn't infuriate me as much as Donkey Kong. Some of the DK online versions have wonky directional buttons that don't want to respond immediately just like the original arcade version. It's soooo frustrating because it's not my reflexes making me lose but the stupid game itself. I have no idea how any of the so-called classic arcade champions manage to get so damn far in any of those old games. They seem to be programmed to make you lose. They aren't just games of skill. I got so frustrated with Donkey Kong that I was like Aaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and pounding my fist on the bed.
I was totally like:
Damn 80's arcade games! :::shakes fist:::
I have made the mistake of thinking that I wanted to play some Donkey Kong. Ever since I saw the K of K at the freakin' Sam's Club I've had Donkey Kong rattling around down in the memory hole. So, stupidly, I looked up the free version online and found a site that has more than just the first level.
Well, I'm still as crappy a player as I was back in the 80's. I can only manage to get to the third level before I start spazzing out. And if that isn't bad enough, I've been playing Frogger, too. Same story with that one. I can only manage to get to the third level. Granted, Frogger doesn't infuriate me as much as Donkey Kong. Some of the DK online versions have wonky directional buttons that don't want to respond immediately just like the original arcade version. It's soooo frustrating because it's not my reflexes making me lose but the stupid game itself. I have no idea how any of the so-called classic arcade champions manage to get so damn far in any of those old games. They seem to be programmed to make you lose. They aren't just games of skill. I got so frustrated with Donkey Kong that I was like Aaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and pounding my fist on the bed.
I was totally like:
Damn 80's arcade games! :::shakes fist:::
posted by Xul at 11:30 AM
6 Comments:
They seem to be programmed to make you lose.
That's probably half true. A game can not be so obviously too hard that a player notices and quits playing. The point of the old arcade games was to get players to shove coins into the slot for as long as possible. So a game needed to look like it's winnable and be just hard to enough to get the players to chase that dragon.
For modern video games it's different. A game company wants a player to finish a game so that said player will buy a new game. So games get shorter and easier.
Unless there's the option of gaming on-line against other human players.
I misspoke in my original post. It was the third screen that I couldn't get past, not the third level.
And being someone who never gives up, and remembering from the documentary The King of Kong players saying that there was a rhythm to the game, I finally figured out how to beat the third screen. The fourth screen was relatively easy. It seems that the first and third screens are the hardest while the second and fourth screens are somewhat easier.
It was very satisfying beating the fourth screen and seeing Donkey Kong fall down on his head! Huzzah! I'm now currently on the fourth *level*. Four screens to a level, then repeat.
Arekino, I should have known that you *might* know a little something about programming! ;P
The point of the old arcade games was to get players to shove coins into the slot for as long as possible. That's why I was glad when they came out with Atari and Nintendo versions.
My mother would never give me money for arcade games. I was "allowed" to pretend like I was playing them. Only my sister would ever give me a quarter to play a game.
IMO, the game controllers got too complicated for my liking after the classic Nintendo NES controller. That one was just my speed.
I just can't deal with the modern games. The last "modern" game I ever tried was World of Warcraft for PC. One of my sister's neighbors had bought that for me as a gift. He was addicted to it and knew that my sister and I liked video games.
Well, it was way to complicated for my tastes.
gaming on-line against other human players. No. I just can't deal with anonymous douchebags online hiding behind their computer screens.
That one was just my speed.
So you prefer the classic games in general? Platformers in particular?
I just can't deal with the modern games.
To each his/her own. There is a lot of variety these days. They're not all complicated.
I just can't deal with anonymous douchebags online
Strictly speaking you don't have to. You can just turn off the volume of the players' voices. :)
So you prefer the classic games in general? Platformers in particular? The last time I was heavily into video games was with the classic Nintendo NES. It doesn't have to be platformers necessarily, just ones that are fun, not too complicated, and have a clear mission.
What I didn't like about Warcraft was there was to much 'management' going on. It was like running a three ring circus.
Anyway, I don't have the time or money for the new stuff. My mother already thinks I spend too much time on the computer. :)
BTW, I'm up to level 9 on Donkey Kong. I think the kill screen is at level 22 so I'm almost halfway through. Although, there really is no purpose to keep going with it. I pretty much figured out the tricks to get through. At this point, it's just becoming a time waster.
kill screen
Are you sure you mean "kill screen"?
Do you have a link to the game BTW?
Are you sure you mean "kill screen"? I'm not sure I know what you mean...the original game had a "kill screen" as the players called it because when you started level 22 Mario would just die after a few seconds and that's where the game ended.
www.freekong.org is the link.
I'm up to level 15 now. I'm not the sort to just give up. I need to see if this version has a kill screen.
And what are you up to this fine weekend, Arekino-san?
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