Narc Jokes
How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. A narcissist will always manage to find someone else to carry out a menial chore like that.
What is one way to irritate a narcissist?
Pretend to enjoy doing the lowly menial chores which the narcissist has given you to do. It will make the narcissist think that he or she is missing out on something.
What should you say when a narcissist asks you what you want for your birthday?
Anything but what you actually want. At least then you will have a slim chance of actually getting what you want instead of what the narcissist thinks you ought to want.
What's a narcissist's idea of being a "slave"?
Not being able to boss everyone else about.
What do you call a narcissist who is never envious of others?
Exceptional!
What is a narcissist's idea of being abused?
Occasionally having to go along with someone else's preferences
Why do narcissists indulge in gaslighting?
Respondent: I don't know, why do narcissists indulge in gaslighting?
I said moonlighting, there's no such thing as gaslighting. Why did you think I said gaslighting?
Why do narcissists indulge in projection?
Respondent: I don't know. Why do...
It's not narcissists that indulge in projection, its you that indulges in projection. - you are so devoid of empathy and you always want lots of attention and if I dare to criticize you, you always fly off the handle and you go on and on and on about it and you never let me get a word in edgeways and as well as that you are always being charming to people when they are present and later on you always want to criticize them behind their backs!
What is accessible to a narcissist and to no-one else?
The family finances
What's a narcissist's idea of hard work?
Arranging for lots of people to do all the chores.
What do you call a narcissist who is content to sit in the background during a lively discussion?
Rare!
How can you tell when a narcissist is telling lies?
His/her lips are moving
What do you call a narcissist who is apparently content to sit and watch someone else being praised?
One that's eager to impress the present company, of course!
What's a narcissist's idea of compromise?
Persuading others to go along with the narcissist's preferences.
What do you call a narcissist who is never vengeful?
A myth.
Why does a narcissist often fail to keep his/her word?
Because a narcissist's promise is the narcissist's own property. So the narcissist has a right to break his/her promise if he/she wishes.
What do you call a narcissist who is always content to let his/her husband or wife or children choose where the family should go on holiday?
Definitely not a narcissist!
Jokes taken from IndyGirl1975's post at the OOTF forum. :) (Hey, it was either this or an expletive filled rant that I wrote last night. QoH was reeeeally pushing my buttons. :( )
None. A narcissist will always manage to find someone else to carry out a menial chore like that.
What is one way to irritate a narcissist?
Pretend to enjoy doing the lowly menial chores which the narcissist has given you to do. It will make the narcissist think that he or she is missing out on something.
What should you say when a narcissist asks you what you want for your birthday?
Anything but what you actually want. At least then you will have a slim chance of actually getting what you want instead of what the narcissist thinks you ought to want.
What's a narcissist's idea of being a "slave"?
Not being able to boss everyone else about.
What do you call a narcissist who is never envious of others?
Exceptional!
What is a narcissist's idea of being abused?
Occasionally having to go along with someone else's preferences
Why do narcissists indulge in gaslighting?
Respondent: I don't know, why do narcissists indulge in gaslighting?
I said moonlighting, there's no such thing as gaslighting. Why did you think I said gaslighting?
Why do narcissists indulge in projection?
Respondent: I don't know. Why do...
It's not narcissists that indulge in projection, its you that indulges in projection. - you are so devoid of empathy and you always want lots of attention and if I dare to criticize you, you always fly off the handle and you go on and on and on about it and you never let me get a word in edgeways and as well as that you are always being charming to people when they are present and later on you always want to criticize them behind their backs!
What is accessible to a narcissist and to no-one else?
The family finances
What's a narcissist's idea of hard work?
Arranging for lots of people to do all the chores.
What do you call a narcissist who is content to sit in the background during a lively discussion?
Rare!
How can you tell when a narcissist is telling lies?
His/her lips are moving
What do you call a narcissist who is apparently content to sit and watch someone else being praised?
One that's eager to impress the present company, of course!
What's a narcissist's idea of compromise?
Persuading others to go along with the narcissist's preferences.
What do you call a narcissist who is never vengeful?
A myth.
Why does a narcissist often fail to keep his/her word?
Because a narcissist's promise is the narcissist's own property. So the narcissist has a right to break his/her promise if he/she wishes.
What do you call a narcissist who is always content to let his/her husband or wife or children choose where the family should go on holiday?
Definitely not a narcissist!
Jokes taken from IndyGirl1975's post at the OOTF forum. :) (Hey, it was either this or an expletive filled rant that I wrote last night. QoH was reeeeally pushing my buttons. :( )
posted by Xul at 11:07 PM
24 Comments:
What is your main source of electrical power over there?
Mostly natural gas.
Occasionally having to go along with someone else's preferences
Sounds like some anarcho-capitalists I've met on the net. ;P
The family finances
I've had my own bank account since I was 12 I think. I can't even imagine not having one.
So the narcissist has a right to break his/her promise if he/she wishes.
This is strictly speaking true for everyone. But usually there are consequences to breaking promises. Of course, it's difficult to impose any consequences on someone if one depends on that someone for something. Ah, the perils of monopolies.
Why do narcissists indulge in projection?
I like this one best. Really captures the spirit of narcissism.
it was either this or an expletive filled rant that I wrote last night.
Well, at least you got the anger out of your system that way. :)
Mostly natural gas.
Ah, now I can see why the Russian situation would be worrisome for you lot.
I used to work with a guy from Sweden--he was quite the character--and he would always gloat that Sweden had lots of hydroelectric power and the Danes did not. Nyah, nyah! LOL
I'm glad Florida has mostly nuclear. It keeps the costs relatively cheap. :)
I can't even imagine not having one.
You are lucky to not have a narc as a parent. I think yours likely wanted you to have independence.
I like this one best.
Me too. Made me LOL.
Well, at least you got the anger out of your system that way. :)
Yeah, only you didn't get a chance to count how many times I said 'fucking'. ;P
Anything new and exciting with you?
now I can see why the Russian situation would be worrisome for you lot.
Well, we do have natural gas reserves of our own. In Groningen for example and in the North Sea.
I suppose that if we needed oil we could get it from Norway or something.
I think yours likely wanted you to have independence.
Possibly. At the time I had really no money to put into my account. In fact, I think that one of the reasons my parents got me that account was that I would put the little money that I had on it so that I wouldn't spend it on anything frivolous.
you didn't get a chance to count how many times I said 'fucking'.
Do you have any favorite swear words? Mine tend to be 'kut' or 'godverdomme' or even 'motherfucker!'. ;P
Anything new and exciting with you?
Nah, just some new DVDs and I'm trying to play Dungeon Siege 2 in an original way (which is not easy since I've played that game to death.)
Can you top that? ;P
Do you have any favorite swear words?
I think fuck, fucking, fucker--well, any derivative of fuck--is my go-to swear word/adjective. When I'm *really* pissed, the volume of usage dramatically increases. ;P
Also, cocksucker is a good one. Motherfucker, asshole...add those to my most used ones. ;)
Can you top that? ;P
Well, I *am* getting better at seeing the patterns and anticipating moves in chess. I can now recognize when the computer is trying to checkmate me in 4 moves and prevent *that* from happening. I also got through almost a whole game without using the 'hint' feature. I only needed it twice to finish one particular game. Usually, I have to use it after 14 moves. Like I said, I'm getting better at anticipating the moves and planning ahead. I'm still not so go at finishing, but I'm getting better. I'm working my way to going a full game without using hints. :)
any derivative of fuck
I have never understood how something apparently so pleasant - fucking - has ended up being a swear word. "Shit" I can fathom. :)
I only needed it twice to finish one particular game.
If I recall correctly, as long as both players continue to make their moves, the game will inevitably end. With or without a hint feature. ;P (but I'm glad to hear you're making progress ;)
I've started cleaning up our small front yard. Just ripped some poppies and other plants out of the soil. I really needed a hoe to get rid of the rest of the plant life but we didn't have one. We do now though. My sister gave us one as she no longer needs it. She basically replaced all of her back yard with bricks and she has no front yard to speak of. Tomorrow I will therefore continue my humble gardening efforts. Hurrah! :)
I jut finished watching AI and I'm feeling a bit robotic now. Maybe it rubbed off on me, the movie did. Weird. ;)
the game will inevitably end
It'll end if someone gets checkmate or if that isn't possible, it'll end as a draw.
but I'm glad to hear you're making progress ;)
Yeah, forget I said any of that. Last night I couldn't get it together to save my life. I kept getting myself in trouble only a few moves in, then to avoid getting beaten and damaging my ego, I'd just go to the main menu and start another game. That went on for 6 or 7 games until I got one where I at least got to 17 moves before I got myself stuck, then used hints to finish it out.
Damn infuriating game. Damn Persians inventing such an impossible game. :(
I'd really like to get through a game without using hints, but it's almost impossible when playing the computer. I'd have to be some kind of savant or have a photographic memory to do it. Damn game makes me feel like an idiot which is completely unacceptable, that's why I persist in trying to win against the damn thing. >:(
I really needed a hoe
rubbed off
LMAO ::Xul goes into a Beavis and Butthead laughing fit:::
Sorry, I have the sense of humor of an adolescent boy. ;P
I guess those poppies you have are not the opium variety. ;P
Regardless, I think they look kinda cool.
Are you going to replace those ripped-out plants with different ones? Or are you going to do like your sis and brick it over?
I like having a big yard, but it's a pain in the ass with the amount of plants that require constant pruning and trimming. That's all QoH's doing. I prefer ones that require no maintenance. QoH likes to think of herself as some queen with a staff to take care of all her plants, and when the staff of one complains, then that staff is "lazy". It's not lazy, it's that I'd rather be doing other things with my time. I'd rather be enjoying my life than being a slave to plants.
Well, I guess you have a great opportunity to get a tan with some topless gardening. ;P (just don't throw out your back or something :/)
I'd have to be some kind of savant or have a photographic memory to do it.
It's really just a matter of thinking ahead a bunch of moves. In your head you make a move and then think about what your opponent might do to screw you over, then you either back-track to an alternate move or come up with a counter move that makes use of what your opponent did. Lather, rinse, repeat. :)
Damn infuriating game.
Don't fight the game, fight your opponent. :)
Are you going to replace those ripped-out plants with different ones?
Well, it's not my garden but I would like to see more colourful plants in there.
some topless gardening
I don't know, the sun reflecting off my pale chest might blind someone.
I've almost finished cleaning up the garden BTW. My parents really neglected it this time. Usually my dad loves to do the gardening around the house but I guess he's been too busy with the vegetable patch. He's already harvested lots of strawberries and we're all enjoying the fruits of his and my sister's labour.
I think I'll probably be all done with the garden tomorrow. It's really quite tiring work, you know. :)
It's really just a matter of thinking ahead a bunch of moves
All that plotting and scheming sounds like something a NPD would be good at. It makes my head hurt. I'd like to think I'm a live in the moment kinda person. :) Anyway, I'm doing well just playing defense and trying to anticipate the next move that the computer is trying to screw me over with.
the sun reflecting off my pale chest might blind someone.
Ya know, I almost made the same snarky remark yesterday, but I didn't. I was trying to be nice. ;P I was *going* to say I wouldn't mind watching you work while shirtless, but I'd likely need to wear some shades to prevent eye damage from all that sunlight reflecting off your paleness. ;P ;D
My parents really neglected it this time.
Maybe they were expecting you to just take care of it. ;)
He's already harvested lots of strawberries
Nom, nom, nom!!! The strawberries here this season weren't so good. The last 2 pounds I bought I got after much searching through many packages as they all seemed to have spots and issues. :/
It's really quite tiring work, you know. :)
Indeed. You should sleep well afterward. :)
I'm a live in the moment kinda person.
Ah, well, in that case you can just see a game as a series of transformations from one momentary chess configuration to the next. :P
I wouldn't mind watching you work while shirtless
The feeling is mutual, my lady. ;P
Maybe they were expecting you to just take care of it.
I can't imagine they'd have such high expectations of me. ;)
You should sleep well afterward.
Meh, I always sleep well. Well, I sleep anyway.
I guess you made it through the weekend in one piece. Is there anything to look forward to this week?
I finished a game vs the devious computer just a while ago. I did pretty well this time. I just kept pausing it and tried to anticipate all the pitfalls it was plotting against me with each move. I only used the hint feature to check if my next move was correct about half-way through. I still have trouble getting to checkmate on my own. I think I'm slowly getting better. I'm not one to just give up. I'm not French, after all. ;P
The feeling is mutual, my lady. ;P
Pity I don't have a web cam. You could've enjoyed me working out in naught but a sports bra & shorts before I took that chess break. ;P
I guess you made it through the weekend in one piece.
No bodily harm was inflicted. There was a minor argument after going with QoH to Walmart on Saturday. She threw out some blanket accusation(that I'm vindictive)and I asked for a specific. She immediately changed the subject after that. ;) I'm getting better at countering *her* nonsense as well. :)
Is there anything to look forward to this week?
QoH was supposed to have 3 different doc appts this week. She cancelled the acu appt like she's been doing(because she's increasingly more paranoid)and then the office called to cancel her endo doc appt because that particular doc is off for maternity leave. QoH is so paranoid that she assumed it was a BS excuse and was going to go out to that doc office to stalk the doc to see if she was really there. Somehow, reason prevailed and she called the office back and interrogated one of the office girls who confirmed that, indeed, the doc is on maternity leave until the end of July.
QoH was also supposed to see her primary doc this week, but is going to call and cancel that as well. Doesn't bother me. Going to appts with her is a pain in the ass.
Ya know, all the crazy shit she does, I think she realizes on some level that it *is* crazy shit, like a self-fulfilling prophesy. She has mentioned(let it slip) that "they" are going to say that she's crazy and lock her up. Then she can play the victim and martyr and claim that she was right all along, that it's all one big conspiracy to get her. ::rolls eyes::
It's like:
1) Claim "they" are out to get me
2) Do weird shit and act crazy so that "they" notice and do something about it
3) After "they" do something about it and "get you", claim that you were right all along.
It's PD magic!
Pity I don't have a web cam.
Well, I could send you one. ;P
Is there anything to look forward to this week?
What about anything fun? Something to look forward to?
The weather was bad today so no gardening for me. Oh well.
What about anything fun?
Nope.
Something to look forward to?
Well, the grocery store down the street is putting a Dutch beer that I like on sale, so imagine I'll be buying some when I go there. :)
The weather was bad today
It is rainy and gross here as well. Has been for several days and will continue indefinitely. Typical summer weather. As much as they try to claim that this is such a great place to vacation, this state sure has shitty weather. :/
Ugh, my lower back is sore. IDK why, as I only did shoulders, arms, and some lunges last night. Maybe it's the damn sheets I put on my bed. I ran out of clean sheets so I put on some that I had when I was a kid. The material is different(stiff and not very soft) from the luxury ones I've been using for the last 10 years. The kids' ones don't hold in the heat or conform around my body like the other ones so I never reach that happy sleeping temperature. I feel too cold. I tried wearing a long-sleeve shirt, but I still couldn't get comfortable, so I ripped that off after an hour and put on a regular t-shirt. I tried adding a down-filled comforter on top, but it makes too much weight, so I feel like I'm being crushed in addition to it making it too hot after a while. Sigh. I guess I'm just going to have to switch the sheets. I thought I'd be able to adjust to it, but I guess not. Seems I've become too much of a princess when it comes to sleeping. ;P
a Dutch beer
What type of beer?
Seems I've become too much of a princess when it comes to sleeping.
Have you checked for peas? :P
I tried wearing a long-sleeve shirt
If that didn't work, are you sure it was the temperature that was bothering you?
What type of beer?
Hollandia
Have you checked for peas? :P
I wouldn't mind if someone put a bag of wasabi peas under there. ;P
are you sure it was the temperature that was bothering you?
The long-sleeve shirt was bothering me because it was uncomfortable--it was snug in the arms and pinching under my armpits. I'm used to wearing a loose short-sleeve t-shirt to bed.
Anyway, I swapped the sheet out. Garfield went bye-bye, replaced by a stripey satin-y cotton one. The colorful zoo animals fitted sheet stayed as it wasn't bothering me.
I have quite the ensemble now: 1 Garfield pillow case and 1 Pound Puppies pillow case for the pillows against my headboard, 2 mint colored pillow cases for the pillows I use for sleeping, 1 colorful zoo animals fitted sheet, and 1 cream-colored stripey satin-y one, and my black micro-suede bed spread. It's awesome. ;P
Anyhoo, the swap-out fixed my problem. Now I am no longer irritated by strange textures while trying to sleep. :)
Hollandia
Never heard of it. I do know the company that produces it, Bavaria. But as you know, I'm not exactly a beer expert.
wasabi peas
Again, I've never heard of those. Apparently they're a snack?
I had my hair cut today, by my dad, in the kitchen, with an electric hair clipper. Hm, that sounds like I was playing Cluedo and someone murdered my hair. T'is a case for Shearlock Combs. ;P
I'll be babysitting tomorrow night BTW. Just a heads up. :)
Never heard of it.
It is indeed made by Bavaria. It has a more full bodied flavor IMO, whereas Grolsch and Heineken tend to have a sharper taste. Just my opinion.
Apparently they're a snack?
I think it's one of those strange Japanese snack foods that just so happened to not be that bad and became popular over here. They can really open up your sinuses, too. ;P
I had my hair cut today,
And *I* had my hair cut, by QoH, Monday evening, with scissors. ;P
She is being especially bitchy and annoying today. I'm trying to keep my cool so as to prevent the need for CSI on the scene. :/
Shearlock Combs.
::groan::
I'll be babysitting tomorrow night BTW
Do they get a summer break? Over here, the little shits get nearly 3 months. Is your sis doing something interesting/exciting to necessitate your services?
And *I* had my hair cut,
What a coincidence. Is it still kinda long or did you have QoH make a radical hair change?
Do they get a summer break?
Sure, it's 6 or 7 weeks long, I think.
Is your sis doing something interesting/exciting to necessitate your services?
She's just going to go out with her husband. I don't exactly know where there going to.
Hey, when was the last time you went out with someone? Where did you go?
Is it still kinda long or did you have QoH make a radical hair change?
It seems the older I get, the shorter the hair gets cut. I don't think women look good with very long hair as they get older. I *was* contemplating going shoulder-length or just slightly longer, but that would be too radical for now. (and one of the MA's at the doc office would probably want to murder me as she likes it long ;P)
Anyway, I got just a trim--maybe 2-3 inches whacked off. Plus, it's easier to color with less to deal with. ;P As it is now, it's maybe 8 inches below my shoulders, so still fairly long. :)
Hey, when was the last time you went out with someone? Where did you go?
I don't remember exactly. The last *proper* meal that I was taken out for was with the 2 sisters that I used to work with. They took me to a nice Argentinian steak house for my B-day. It was pretty cool. For another B-day we went to Oleta so I could show them the place, and then we went to the Ale House for a meal. And then I know I went to a baseball game with the nabe the last year the Marlins played at the stadium near my house. So 2 or 3 years?
I *was* contemplating going shoulder-length
Yeah, that might look good on you. And if it doesn't, well, it will always grow back. ;)
we went to Oleta
Oleta river state park?
So 2 or 3 years?
Okay. I guess that's not *that* long ago. Hey, what about that time you went to that amateur "aeroplane" building/"flying"/crashing show. That was maybe a year ago? Or was that 2 years? Anyway, for me I think it's been about 7 years now.
We're having a minor heat wave here. It will probably end in wet misery but I'm not complaining. I finished working on the front garden today. It looks nice now. Could use a few more plants IMHO.
My middle nephew comes visiting over here a lot more often then he used. I wonder what's up with that?
that might look good on you
I think it would look good if I cut 6 inches off. It would still be a couple inches below my shoulders, but not so short as to look really drastic. It would be Regina-length.
And you are right, if I didn't like it, it would grow back. It seems to grow at about 2 inches in 3 months. :)
Oleta river state park?
Yep.
that amateur "aeroplane" building/"flying"/crashing show. That was maybe a year ago?
4 years ago. The pics for that event in the folder in my computer say 2010.
for me I think it's been about 7 years now.
Since you went anywhere in general(including restaurants)? Or been specifically taken somewhere?
Could use a few more plants IMHO.
Of course, I will need a pic. :)
I bet you heat wave isn't as bad as the summer weather here--90F all week, with scattered afternoon thunderstorms(as per usual summer weather pattern). Yesterday, it was very dry for some reason. Not a cloud in the sky, but still very hot. It wasn't humid either, so the heat was bearable.
I wonder what's up with that?
Maybe he just wants to bask in your awesomeness? I know *I* would visit a lot if *I* lived near you. ;P
Since you went anywhere in general(including restaurants)?
I've been to restaurants with my family on special occasions but I don't really count that. I meant going somewhere with other people. Last time I did that was in 2007 and that was pretty much the first time in 25 years or so.
I'm not sure having those kind of friends (the socially active kind) is for me.
I know *I* would visit a lot if *I* lived near you.
And you'd be welcome (and so is my nephew BTW). I wish you could easily visit actually. It would be nice to talk to you in person. :)
Last time I did that was in 2007
Who did you go with and where did you go?
I'm not sure having those kind of friends (the socially active kind) is for me.
I'm hardly a social butterfly, but I *do* like having at least *one* person to go places/do activities with. :)
I wish you could easily visit actually. It would be nice to talk to you in person. :)
I would like that as well. You could show me the sights and I could entertain you with my sassyness. ;P
Someone needs to invent a teleporter. ;D
Hey, there's this new show on AMC called Halt and Catch Fire. It's about some computer geeks back in the 80's. The first ep I caught last night--pretty good so far.
Who did you go with and where did you go?
Ah, yes. I may have to you this but I don't remember if I have. Anyway, I went to a music festival in Breda with a colleague and her husband.
I *do* like having at least *one* person to go places/do activities with.
Yeah, I guess.
It's about some computer geeks back in the 80's.
Ha, could be about me then. Am I in it? ;P
I watched Elysium yesterday. Was better than I expected.
I went to a music festival in Breda with a colleague and her husband.
Yes, I remember now.
Ha, could be about me then. Am I in it? ;P
Unless you lived in Texas back then and reverse engineered an IBM OS...;P New ep tonight, I'll let ya know. ;)
I watched Elysium yesterday.
I've been seeing that on the channel guide for the pay channels. Hopefully, it'll be on one of the movie channels I get soon, or maybe some free movies whenever Dish gets around to doing a freebie weekend since I wanted to see that.
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