Official Halloween Post
Because the comments thread in the last post is quickly approaching 200 and becoming unwieldy, and because it's officially Halloween! Seemed like a good time to make a new post!
So Wednesday night American Horror Story did its Halloween episode. It was fairly tame for AHS. March was hosting a Devil's Night soiree attended by several notorious American serial killers: Aileen Wournos(Lily Rabe), Jeffrey Dahmer(Seth Gabel), John Wayne Gacy(John Carroll Lynch), Richard "The Night Stalker" Ramirez, and The Zodiac Killer. The highlight of the episode was Lily Rabe's performance as Aileen Wournos. She didn't really look that much like her, but damn, she sure as hell had the mannerisms down. Since that whole killing spree happened in Florida, I'm waaaay familiar with Ms Wournos. She was a real freaky-ass nut case. And the way she justified the horrible things she did and had no remorse kinda reminded me of QoH in a way. D:
And Seth Gable looked a little too much like Jeffrey Dahmer. It was kinda creepy. Anyway, speaking of Dahmer, I'm convinced that he was the one responsible for the kidnapping of Adam Walsh.
FIY, My mother and I just so happened to be at that very same Sears at the Hollywood Mall the same day that Adam Walsh was kidnapped. I think that whole incident led to her being even more-so overly fearful and controlling of me.
Anyway, I still maintain that Arekino-san should dress as Buffalo Bill from The Silence of the Lambs. That would be truly terrifying. ;P And I'm gonna go with being a Droog from A Clockwork Orange. I have most of the necessary elements to make a good Alex. ;)
So Wednesday night American Horror Story did its Halloween episode. It was fairly tame for AHS. March was hosting a Devil's Night soiree attended by several notorious American serial killers: Aileen Wournos(Lily Rabe), Jeffrey Dahmer(Seth Gabel), John Wayne Gacy(John Carroll Lynch), Richard "The Night Stalker" Ramirez, and The Zodiac Killer. The highlight of the episode was Lily Rabe's performance as Aileen Wournos. She didn't really look that much like her, but damn, she sure as hell had the mannerisms down. Since that whole killing spree happened in Florida, I'm waaaay familiar with Ms Wournos. She was a real freaky-ass nut case. And the way she justified the horrible things she did and had no remorse kinda reminded me of QoH in a way. D:
FIY, My mother and I just so happened to be at that very same Sears at the Hollywood Mall the same day that Adam Walsh was kidnapped. I think that whole incident led to her being even more-so overly fearful and controlling of me.
Anyway, I still maintain that Arekino-san should dress as Buffalo Bill from The Silence of the Lambs. That would be truly terrifying. ;P And I'm gonna go with being a Droog from A Clockwork Orange. I have most of the necessary elements to make a good Alex. ;)
posted by Xul at 1:44 AM
39 Comments:
Arekino-san, you haz a mail. :)
And be sure to read the last comment on the last thread. ;)
That would be truly terrifying.
"Terrifying" is exactly the right word. Exactly. :P
you haz a mail.
Received and appreciated. This is gong in the "special" collection folder. :D ;P
Sorry, I have to keep it short. The kid is stalking me. He may jump out of the shadows at me at any moment. Bye.
This is going in the "special" collection folder. :D ;P
Would that be the password protected wank bank? ;P
The kid is stalking me.
D: Oh noes!!!
Oh well, I guess I'll go back to watching not so scary movies. They've had some older ones on last night and today. So far I've watched Silence of the Lambs twice (and now have Goodbye Horses stuck in my head), The Craft, Fire in the Sky (that a friend from school was totally traumatized by LOL), some 2004 version of Frankenstein that had Donald Sutherland in it, and the 1982 version of The Thing. :)
Would that be the password protected wank bank?
Nope. I never save any of that stuff. As they say, the internet is for (free) porn.
Also, I don't use your pics for wanking.
watching not so scary movies
Those movies sounds pretty good. I've never seen Fire In The Sky. How could that traumatize someone, I wonder?
Goodbye Horses
That's such a typical late eighties song. Was it ever a hit in the USA? I don't remember it being one in my country.
I don't use your pics for wanking.
I was gonna say 'That's good', but then I was like 'Hey! Why not?!?'. I'm not sure if I should be insulted or flattered. ;P Then again, I've never sent you anything particularly wank worthy anyway. ;P
How could that traumatize someone
She had a phobia about being kidnapped and experimented on by aliens, and that happened to the guy in the movie. That one particular scene *was* pretty horrifying.
Was it ever a hit in the USA?
No. I was only aware of it because of the movie and I'd never heard it on the radio ever until a few weeks ago when it was played on the Sirius 80's alternative channel.
Well, crazy-ass paternal unit came by today (with the parrot) and pounded on the door for 10 minutes or so. I didn't answer it because I don't need to deal with him or QoH in a screaming match. He had left 11 crazy messages on my voice mail previously. His latest excuse for wanting to buy the neighbors house was because she put up a 8 foot tall wooden privacy fence along the lot line all the way to the canal and it blocks the breeze. So he wants to buy the house so he can at least take half the fence down. O_o :O
His other previous reasons that he gave were he wanted to get me and my mother out of our 'bad' neighborhood, and then the next reason was so he could prevent undesirables from living next to him. The problem with those 2 reasons is his neighborhood is pretty crappy, too, and he already has plenty of undesirables living around him.
And I almost forgot, he wanted to buy it in my name so he could put $25,000 less down payment because I would be a 1st time home buyer and then get me to live there so I could file homestead exemption to pay less in property taxes. All of which is super shady plus IDK how that would even be legal since I'm not working and have no proof of income to be able to qualify to purchase it. Let alone if my name was on it I'd be legally responsible for a whole mess of different things. No effing way am I going to get involved in that hot mess.
Oh, and he had some other crazy message about letting him know if I didn't want to live there then he wouldn't buy it. Aaaaaaaarrrrggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!! I told him months ago when he first came up with that cockamamie plan that I WAS NOT INTERESTED in living next door to him. He puts me through months of crazy only to go back to square one. I could bang my head against an effing wall.
And let alone the fact that buying a house is a pretty big deal and not one you just spring on someone without finding out if that is something they would be interested in doing. I guess what I want has no bearing on it.
Dealing with all his crazy nonsense just makes me want to scream. All this drama and nonsense is just his attempt to force contact with me (in PD forum terminology "hoovers") because he's bored. So he has to keep escalating the crazy in an attempt to finally get me to break down and call him, therefore he gets the attention and contact that he wants. The last time he did this shit was over the damn watch fiasco. He bothered me for almost a damn year with that one. God I wish I had normal parents!!! :/
So he wants to buy the house so he can at least take half the fence down.
That sounds like something a rich guy would do just because he can. But then, I'm guessing your paternal unit is not rich at all, so instead it's just... stupid.
No effing way am I going to get involved in that hot mess.
Good.
his attempt to force contact with me (in PD forum terminology "hoovers") because he's bored
Which Personality Disorder does your PU have?
I'm guessing your paternal unit is not rich at all, so instead it's just... stupid.
He's not rich, just stupid. And he changes his reasoning just about every time he leaves a new message. One of my favorites from a while back was "the *only* way I can give you any money is by buying this house". ::facepalm:: That is so obviously untrue on so many levels. First of all, nothing is stopping him from withdrawing money from his bank account and giving it to me. Secondly, in the state of Florida, it is legal to give $10,000 per year as a gift. A friend of my sis's was adopted as a kid by a very wealthy woman and she gifted him $10,000 per year until he died. Thirdly, I don't see how it would be legally possible for my name to be solely on that house if he was paying for it. It would seem like his name would also have to be on it as a co-owner. Therefore it would not belong to me free and clear and if I wanted to sell it I'd have to have his consent. Just another way to control me IMO. :/
Which Personality Disorder does your PU have?
I have no idea. I've gone through each disorder and their traits and can't pin down one to apply to him. I was thinking that maybe he has some kind of Asperger's or autism spectrum disorder. He's extremely emotionally immature and doesn't take no for an answer. When his brain gets stuck on something he's relentless until he gets on to the next thing. It really makes me want to bang my head against a wall because you cannot reason with him.
It was especially embarrassing as a kid because he doesn't behave like a regular adult (eg with confidence and authority). He just kinda comes off as lost with no clue as to what to do or about social norms. He just kinda gets this clueless blank look and grins stupidly with a sorta vacant look in his eyes. I don't know how to describe it really. It's something you have to experience first hand to really comprehend. I've told friends about it before and they just assumed I was exaggerating because kids tend to be embarrassed of their parents in general, but then when they see it for themselves, they're like "Oh shit, you weren't exaggerating," and be kinda shocked. And then QoH is a NPD/OCPD/PPD control freak. Lucky me. /sarc :/
Oh, I forgot to mention--hecalled my cell yesterday before he came by and left a message to the tune of 'I hope you'll come out and talk to me, but if you don't, I guess you don't want to talk'. So what does he do today? Come by the house again! It's totally crazy making!
And FWIW, even though Ash vs Evil Dead is supposed to be on Starz, for some reason they aired the 1st ep again last night on Encore (which I have). It was okay. Just the same sort of thing as Army of Darkness. IDK if I can get into it. It was fine as a campy movie (or movies if you're counting Evil Dead 1 & 2, I personally couldn't get past more than 10 minutes of either of those), but it's kinda tired after 30 years or the same dumb jokes. Just another social shibboleth IMO.
Damn! I forgot to mention that this season of OUAT with the Camelot + Brave characters is sucking balls. Except for Paul Telfer who played one of the bad guy Scottish guys (in all his shirtless muscular glory). He's yummy. Mmmmmmmm. :) I think Regina should dump forest face and hook up with that sexy specimen of manly goodness. ;P
When his brain gets stuck on something he's relentless until he gets on to the next thing.
Okay, so his actions are not intentionally malicious? He's not out to hurt you, he's just obsessed with reaching a particular goal?
He's yummy.
He does look like he put a lot of work into his body.
I wonder where the OUAT writers team draw the line as far as where which types of world would fit into the OUAT universe. Do they have to be fairy tale like?
Oh, SS guy was quite reasonable today. He immediately admitted that they made a mistake and the issue was quickly resolved.
his actions are not intentionally malicious?
He tends to do things without thinking of consequences and without regard for how it affects others. He can't see beyond what he wants.
he's just obsessed with reaching a particular goal?
The goal is usually having someone around to complain to when he's bored. He used to do the same thing to one of my sister's friends(who is now deceased). He'd drop by unannounced and want to just sit around and have someone to complain about things to. The sis' friend would then complain about paternal unit driving him nuts. LOL
Anyway, paternal unit left yet another message on my cell today, this time trying to use cash money as a bait. 'Oh, if you open the door I'll give you some money'. He also brought up the money that he gave me about 10 years ago. He slipped up and said "lent" and then corrected himself and said he "gave" it to me and that he could give me money again. All it is is bait to get me to talk to him. Then after he says he'll give me money, then suddenly he'll go back on his word and have some reason why he can't. ::facepalm:: I've done this routine too many times with him. :/
Do they have to be fairy tale like?
It seems like they have to use characters from Disney movies. It would be great is some other writers on some other channel would come up with a fairy tale show that is not affiliated with Disney and could make it cool and interesting. ;D
He immediately admitted that they made a mistake
That's good. Glad it was resolved without incident. ;P :)
Anything else going on with you?
All it is is bait to get me to talk to him.
Wow. He's crossed the border to la la land and is intending to settle there.
Anything else going on with you?
Not much. It turns out that the vial of insulin in my insulin pen is cracked and so I had an uncomfortably high BS level today. But that's been resolved.
Friday I have to go to two of my nephews' birthdays. I expect it to be boring as usual.
I've got a bit of a cold. Nothing special.
I just watched a movie. "The Europa Report". It's kinda bad. Scientist/Astronauts making ridiculously stupid mistakes just to further the plot along.
Re-watched Constantine. Got a few more movies to watch.
I ordered some comic-books. Mostly swamp Thing.
So not much going on.
and is intending to settle there.
He's been settled there for decades. :/
What usually happens(or doesn't happen)at a nephew's b-day party to make it boring?
There was some series called Constantine on the Chiller channel last night. I put it on but didn't pay much attention to it. I felt kinda tired last night and went to bed early. But before I did, I made some black beans and rice to go with the super delicious plantains that I had made. They were very sweet naturally. QoH asked if I had added brown sugar to them. Nope, just naturally that way. Some of the best I've even had. :)
Not much going on here. AHS tonight. Shopping Friday. The days sure go by fast when you don't have anything to do. :/
What usually happens(or doesn't happen)at a nephew's b-day party to make it boring?
Nothing. Nothing happens. I have nothing in common with the people at the party. Nothing to talk about. They're either friends of my sister's (and her husband) or they are her husband's family. I don't ever see her friends except at birthdays. His family lives in a town near Amsterdam and I normally never see them either. I'm not good at chit chat and I don't care about talking to these people. They don't seem interested in talking to me. They do talk to each other. I'm sort of left sitting there with my parents who don't talk much either because they have trouble hearing people over the noise of people talking/music playing. Sometimes my nephews talk to me but they are usually off playing with other kids.
some series called Constantine
Haven't seen that. I know it was cancelled though.
The days sure go by fast when you don't have anything to do.
Days, weeks, months. It's like my life is put on fast forward. Every Friday I'm thinking: "Wait, wasn't it Monday yesterday? Nope." And yet, I bet it's going to be a long winter. :/
Nothing. Nothing happens.
Are you required to go? Can't you just make an appearance, shake the nephew's hand and tell him happy b-day, give him his gift if you got him one, and then leave? That's what I'd do in that situation.
I know it was cancelled though.
With good reason. I didn't find it very interesting.
I bet it's going to be a long winter. :/
Maybe for you. It's still almost 90 degrees here. :/ Maybe you'll get some White Walkers. *That* would make thing interesting. ;P
In other news, paternal unit was at it again today. He came by and banged on the door for a bit. Then we thought he left. About a half hour later, the cops showed up and started banging on the door. I guess PU thought if he upped the ante then we'd be falling all over ourselves to talk to him. /sarc I ended up talking to the cops through the little speakeasy window in the door. I know my rights. They can't come in if they don't have a search warrant, but if you open the door to them, they can force their way in and come up with some bullshit reason that they had probable cause. Anyway, I told them that he was harassing us by coming over every day. I already told him that I'm not interested in his real estate deal and he won't take 'no' for an answer. I had to show them ID to prove who I was. Very annoying. Then they left. I guess they explained the situation to PU. Hopefully they told him to stop coming over here and harassing us and that if we say 'no' then respect that. Sigh. 'No' is such a small and simple word, but some people have such trouble understanding it.
Anyway, I hope you're feeling better from your cold and good luck with the party tomorrow. :)
That's what I'd do in that situation.
Yeah, I can't do that. These nephews are in a way friends of mine. I think they'd be disappointed if I didn't stay a while.
And I did stay while. Longer than I expected to. My sister had ought a new (large) table and most people decided to go sit around it. I went and sat myself on the couch in the front of the living room where I was only now and again bothered (in a friendly way) by my nephews and some other kids.
'No' is such a small and simple word, but some people have such trouble understanding it.
Those people sometimes respond better to the terms "fuck" and "off", loudly exclaimed in that order. It's like a magical spell. Fuckius Offius! ;P
I went and sat myself on the couch...where I was only now and again bothered
How long did you stay? At least you weren't bothered too much. IMO, I think you maybe should try to work on your "bullshitting" game. I used to be painfully shy and hate social situations and seek out peeps I knew and just talk to them. Now I'm pretty good at chit-chat, not that I'd be 100% comfortable if I was at a party where I didn't know anyone. It's an acquired skill. I find that talking to old peeps is usually a safe bet. They're easier to strike up conversation with. Just compliment them and they are usually thankful for the attention and will start gabbing away. ;)
Those people sometimes respond better to the terms "fuck" and "off"
That doesn't work with my PU's. It would only get them enraged.
How long did you stay?
From 16:00 h to about 19:30 h. So about 3.5 hours.
They're easier to strike up conversation with.
It's gets tiresome so fast though.
It would only get them enraged.
Okay, then do the opposite, give them lots of hugs. If my family started hugging me I'd be running. ;P
When was the last time you hugged someone anyway?
So about 3.5 hours.
That's not too bad. At least it wasn't an all day affair.
If my family started hugging me I'd be running. ;P
My family has never done physical affection. I certainly don't want to hug either of the 'rents now.
When was the last time you hugged someone anyway?
I have no idea. It's been many years. And I can't remember the last time I actually hugged or was hugged by anyone I actually wanted to hug or be hugged by. :/
Well today I got into it with QoH so bad that I thought I was going to have some kind of mental break. I really don't know where to turn or what to do. I feel completely trapped with no recourse and it really sucks.
I thought I was going to have some kind of mental break
What do you mean? What did you think would happen? And what happened anyway? Was she accusing you of doing things again?
This is going to sound really bad but I can't remember what specifically happened to start the shouting match. All I remember is that I was writing the date of purchase and prices on all the crap that was bought while shopping on Friday and then she started in on me with her usual verbal pokes. Calling me mentally ill and such and that my thinking makes me mentally ill. I was trying to express myself that the way she treats me is making me crazy, the whole situation is crazy making, but she won't own any part of it. She has zero culpability and I'm 100% wrong in thought and actions. I fucking lost it and was shouting almost out of control and pounded the wall with my palm. She just acted calmly and kept saying that was proof that I'm sick. She deliberately takes no responsibility for her actions and invalidates anything that I say and it frustrates me so badly because what I'm saying is disregarded/not heard/not validated and I just explode in anger and frustration. Then to her that is "proof" that I'm the crazy one and everything she says is validated, not that it's because she keeps antagonizing me until I explode. She in her mind has done nothing.
Then later(not yesterday or today, but this is something she does often)she will start in on me that I treat her so terribly and that no one else treats their mother the way I treat her, and that I never treat anyone else as badly as I treat her(because other people don't live with me 24/7/365 and verbally abuse me and treat me like I'm not a person with legitimate needs and drive me crazy with all her insane thinking and behavior)and that all she has ever done her whole life is do everything for me. Utter. Bullshit.
For 40 years I've been treated like I'm some kind of possession, never been allowed to do the normal things that other people do, never been allowed to develop like a normal person, not allowed to be an adult, not treated like any of my feelings matter. If ever I was upset about something I've been told that I'm 'pouting/sulking/feeling sorry for myself'. I've never been treated with any kindness or nurturing or compassion. No, instead I'm called 'a piece of shit/dyke/just like your father'.
And let me address this 'dyke' nonsense once and for all. She keeps accusing me of 'seeking out that dyke' meaning "CB" who I met on the internet. Of 'spending the night with that dyke'. First of all, I met CB on the internet from her blog. She just seemed like a pretty cool person who I kinda looked up to since she seemed to be living the life I wanted and doing the things I wanted to do. Just by chance she happened to move down here where I live. We talked a lot on the phone when she first moved down. I had no idea what she looked like. The first time I had QoH and her idiot BF drop me off so I could visit CB, my first impression when I first saw her was 'oh shit, this chick is gay'. I figured I'd just visit that one time and then never again. Well, it turned out she wasn't gay, she just isn't very feminine. She was in the army and bragged about getting some gay chick kicked out(the DADT policy, gays weren't allowed in the military back then). Now would an actual lesbian be proud of getting another lesbian kicked out of the army? And speak so viciously about gays? And would she also go on ad nauseum about her ex boyfriend or about all the guys she fucked while in the army?
Yeah, I spent the night at her apartment one time. I spent the night on the most uncomfortable couch ever with CB sleeping in the other room. How terrible and sordid!
Anyway, sorry for the ranting. I just don't have anyone else to tell it to. And I have a terrible headache and feel awful ATM.
I just explode in anger
Well, unless this has actual implications for QoH you probably shouldn't do that. :)
Are you worried that if she continues to accuse you that you might start to believe her?
Are you worried that if she continues to accuse you that you might start to believe her?
No. I know what the truth is. She's just coming up with stories to fit her narrative. That is what is so frustrating. To her, her beliefs = facts. So in her twisted thinking, the more I deny something, the more true it is. Denial = proof that the accusation is true. It's completely crazy-making.
Anyway, she hasn't been hostile yesterday or today, but Ma Nature has arrived today. :/
Every time QoH gets crazy it always seems to coincide around the time of Ma Nature's arrival. IIRC I think I've made this connection before.
And in other news, OUAT is getting so convoluted and stupid that it's almost unwatchable. And that is really a shame with the number of really good actors on that show. :/
It's completely crazy-making.
I still don't understand. Why is it "crazy-making"? Why can't you just pretend to humor her anyway? Or just go "Hm. Hm." any time she accuses you of anything? It seems denying stuff indirectly "makes you crazy". Can you not handle someone saying stuff that is incorrect? Do you have to correct them?
IIRC I think I've made this connection before.
I was thinking the same thing.
OUAT is getting so convoluted and stupid that it's almost unwatchable.
How is the fan base reacting to that?
Why is it "crazy-making"?
It drives me nuts to have someone deliberately not acknowledge or pretend to not understand what I'm saying like I'm not speaking clearly or intelligibly or they're not comprehending what I'm saying. It's dehumanizing on some level. It's like being in bizarro world. I guess it's kinda hard to understand how it would make you feel if you haven't experienced it. FWIW strangers at stores seem to understand me just fine(and internet peeps seem to thing I express myself eloquently), so it has to be QoH doing it deliberately.
Can you not handle someone saying stuff that is incorrect?
No. And this comes from my upbringing. QoH was always correcting me over little nitpicky things, but if I correct her on a mispronunciation or something, she says I'm "ridiculing" her and abusing her. Erm, like the same thing you did to me as a kid? A tad hypocritical donchathink?
Do you have to correct them?
When it comes to QoH it's almost like a compulsion. Another thing she has always done is if I relayed a story to her, if she ever retold it to someone she would get the details all fucked up and it would make me sound idiotic. If I was in the room and corrected what she said then I was being "ridiculous" or petty. For example, something that really drives me nuts is there is a female TV show host on a certain channel that tries to act like another host who has been on a long time. I started calling her " Junior". QoH always says that I call her "Mini ". Well, no, if we are going to be accurate I don't call her that at all. These little inaccuracies make me crazy. If you are going to quote me on something, get it exactly right.
I know it's all kinda OCD or something but I was raised that way and had to be precise when I was in school or get in trouble, so it's somewhat ingrained.
How is the fan base reacting to that?
I only ever read the Lily Sparks review at tv.com and the peeps over there have the same reaction that I have. I think we're all in the same age group.
Anyway, in other news, my shoulder workouts seem to be paying off. I'm starting to see some definition especially that nice little line between the shoulder and upper pec muscle. :) I think if I start increasing the weight I'll start to see that "bunch of bananas" look on the deltoids. :)
someone deliberately not acknowledge or pretend to not understand
Sounds like an average internet troll. Also sounds a bit like gas-lighting someone. It's understandably frustrating.
As they say on the interwebz: Don't feed the trolls. :)
These little inaccuracies make me crazy.
If you were a programmer or any other kind of engineer, I say that's a useful attitude. Then again, if you were poet it would be the opposite of useful. :)
I think we're all in the same age group.
So you're basically saying the show has become too childish for you taste? ;P
I think if I start increasing the weight I'll start to see that "bunch of bananas" look on the deltoids.
Well, good luck with that. :)
In other news, I've bought myself a new winter coat/jacket. The old one's zipper was broken and after 5 years of use it start to look quite worn out. The new coat is very similar to the old one, only newer. :P
It's understandably frustrating.
Yep. And that's why I love reading at the PD forum because at least there are peeps there who unfortunately have experienced the same sorts of things. For example, one of the peeps who commented over there for a long time and then disappeared for a while is back to commenting again. IIRC, she is maybe a few years older than me and I usually relate to much of what she says. She's pretty eloquent and spot on with her observations. From something she wrote a couple nights ago that resonated with me and was validating:
For many of us, how were were neglected/abused as children by our toxic parent(s) can plague us throughout life. When you stop and truly think about how a child deeply requires their parent(s) approval, unconditional love, and affection, coupled with wanting to be accepted, there is no wonder as to how and why we continue to listen to our parent(s) negative voices long into adulthood. The self doubt and thoughts about the problem being us and not them come back in time of family dynamic stress. They were deeply planted on our psyche as a child when we grow up in a toxic and dysfunctional home. For many of us adult children of a dysfunctional family (ADCODF) unresolved issues from our childhood and upbringing can be driving forces that keep us enmeshed and compliant too. Its that unresolved pain from trying so desperately to earn a toxic parents approval and affection as a child that can keep us trying w/ no resolve for decades.
The same commenter also posted this last night(which I can also relate to)in response to another post:
I can relate because I've been invisible and my own opinions, views, and needs dismissed by not just my dysfunctional parents my entire life, but from my siblings and other FOO too. [...]I realized that for my entire life I was so concerned about pleasing others and worrying about their feelings and needs that I stopped conveying/verbalizing my own. I would think this lack of verbalizing and asserting our own needs and feelings is a residual effect of growing up w/ dysfunctional parent(s), since from a young age were conditioned our needs/feelings/input don't matter.
Anyway, enough about all of that. Arekino, I wish I could give you a big hug for being a good sport to keep reading about all my problems. But then again, with it being day 3 of Ma Nature's stay, I might try to get gropey because hormones! ;P
So you're basically saying the show has become too childish for you taste? ;P
It's that the story lines have become illogical and instead of just focusing on the core characters and their relationships to each other, they keep adding these stupid new characters who we are supposed to care about even though they'll only be around for half a season, and everyone rush, rush, rushes around in search of the MacGuffin du jour. And there are plot holes galore. The 1st 2 seasons were great and season 3 was okay, season 4 wasn't very good IMO and S5 is utter crap so far. I'm really hoping this is the final season.
I've bought myself a new winter coat/jacket.
Excellent. :) What style and color is it?
Oh, BTW, QoH was just yelling at me about not taking that real estate course that my nabe across the street took when he was working for some guy doing auctions. For some reason she keeps bringing this up like it would have been the magical thing to fix all our problems. First of all, nabe's boss paid for it. I was working odd hours and couldn't just not work to take a class that I didn't have the money to pay for in the first place. And is nabe currently a real estate mogul to rival Donald Trump, you ask? Hell no! He works the bird show at Jungle Island for a low wage. And the real estate market is still shit because of the shit economy, so IDK how that little course would be helping me right now.
BTW2, would you think it funny if someone ripped open their flannel shirt to reveal a black t-shirt with a silver Superman logo and the other person drew a < on it in flour? The joke being that the symbol symbolizes "hope" and with the < it would mean "hopeless"? I had an idea for a story and thought that was kinda funny. I just wanted your opinion. :)
What style and color is it?
I think it's this one. link But it's price was 59.99 not 99.99.
would you think it funny if
It's somewhat funny, yes. The < symbol means "less than" or "smaller than" so <hope means "less than hope" which you could paraphrase as "hopeless", I suppose. :)
I think it's this one.
Looks pretty good. IMO one can never go wrong with black clothing. :) And cheaper is always good. :)
The < symbol means "less than"
That was my dilemma. The < technically means "less than" and not just "less" so I was concerned if the joke seemed a little forced because of that technicality(I was thinking of the < being to the right of the S). Of course, < on the left of the S like you're thinking would work, too. I also thought maybe the 2 characters could bicker on the semantics of it just to make the situation a little more comedic. ;P
Sigh, QoH has been at it again all day today. She was doing her usual whiny "what are we going to eeeeeat?" routine earlier. I went to go look in the freezer to see what we had and then came and gave her the options. She proceeded to go on a 20 minute monolog and I still don't know what I'm supposed to be making. That happened about 6.5 hours ago.
Then I was planning on mowing the lawn when she wanted me to instead wash her bed linens. Since this isn't my first rodeo, I know that she won't allow me to just take the damn things off and wash them. Nooooo!!! First I have to clean her entire bedroom because as she claims "it's loaded with dust" and if I take the linens off then "dust will get all over the mattress and everything else". Erm, okay. That's not true, but whatever. That's her OCD routine that I have to follow or else there will be a total meltdown.
Of course, actually doing what she wants doesn't prevent a meltdown either. She had to start a screaming match(well, mainly her screaming at me and me getting annoyed)over the placement of all her stupid African animals carved statues + some leather ones. Like I said, I've been there and had to deal with the same shit every time. Instead of just being able to take the linens off and wash them (note: they have to be dried outside and it gets dark around 6pm), I have to take at least 45 minutes to do all the cleaning. That means that by the time the linens are all done being washed, there's only a couple hours of daylight left and they won't be getting dry.
So back to the screaming over the statues placement--usually I take them down one by one and dust them and put them back exactly the way they were. Today she gets a bug up her ass that she doesn't like their placement (she's the one who arranged them like that to begin with). So much time is wasted screaming at me while I move the dam things an inch this way, then an inch the other way, no rotate the other one the other way, etc. Completely maddening. I'm trying to not explode but my frustration was written all over my face so she had to start in on me over that.
Then after than fiasco, she wanted the other dresser with all the other picture frames and assorted crap done. Then she has to micromanage it and tell me how to clean it. Then cue the usual accusations of my lesbianism and a "history of Xul's lesbian behavior according to QoH". Seriously, I could scream and bang my head against the wall. I really wished I had a recording of her ranting.
Which eventually I did manage to get to my phone and record almost 7.5 minutes of her berating me. One problem with that is me defending myself. I soooo can't stand the sound of my voice. I have the worst voice and accent ever. I sound kinda like Darlene from Roseanne but worse. :/
QoH has always been accustomed to me being the mindless compliant obedient enmeshed non-person with no needs of my own. The first time I ever asserted myself in a significant way was when I met CB and then learned that she was moving to my area. I didn't want her to think that I was some kind of weirdo. I've always been cognizant that my situation was abnormal. It isn't normal for a (at the time) 28 yr old to still be living at home, not have a driver's license or a car, and to go to work with mommy, mommy drives, goes everywhere with mommy, always with mommy 24/7/365. Not at all normal.
So that was when I 1st started lobbying to get my own car and a driver's license. I had very bad anxiety back then. Social anxiety, all kinds of anxiety. Going to work gave me anxiety. Going to stores and interacting with clerks made me anxious. It really sucks to always feel like you are going to vomit any time you are away from home.
Anyway, when I finally got the car and license, I remember CB convincing me to sneak out of the house and drive over to hers to visit. I was so scared and anxious I don't know how I managed to do it.
CB eventually turned out to be a terrible person and put me through all sorts of hell and stress, but I don't regret the experience because it forced me to grow up somewhat and the process of recovering from the hurt of the whole situation actually made me get over the debilitating anxiety that I used to have.
So whenever I am not a doormat to QoH and fight back against her nonsense, she relates it to me "hooking up with another dyke". I'm soooo tired of hearing her crap.
Doesn't it show what a fucked up person that QoH is? Don't most parents want their kids to go through each of life's developmental stages and eventually grow up to be a capable independent adult? Asserting one's will is part of growing up. She doesn't want me to be independent from her. She wants me under her total control. She doesn't want me to make my own decisions. She wants me to be here like some sort of surrogate spouse to take care of her but to never have any needs of my own. It's torturous. It's dehumanizing. It's my existence. It totally fucking sucks.
I sound kinda like Darlene from Roseanne but worse.
I've honestly never thought of Darlene sounding bad. I can't imagine what you mean by sounding "worse" than her.
Not at all normal.
Maybe not but I'm sure you were a good person nevertheless. :)
Doesn't it show what a fucked up person that QoH is?
Oh yes, it does. Definitely. But who are you trying to convince of that fact? Yourself? Me? I already believe you. You already know exactly who she is. So what to you is the point of answering an already answered question? Does it offer some kind of relief? What if you didn't have that relief? What would happen?
I can't imagine what you mean by sounding "worse" than her.
IDK, I don't think I have a very sexy or feminine voice. :(
Does it offer some kind of relief?
Yes. At least you are giving me validation and can see that it's fucked up.
What if you didn't have that relief? What would happen?
It would make me feel very frustrated. *I* know that it's fucked up, but having others see it too is comforting. I don't feel so alone.
Anyway, what do you think about the jihadi attacks in Paris and the general invasion of EU?
I know that I said I no longer care about Ronda Rousey fights, but I watched the weigh ins and Holly Holm got Rousey all rattled during the stare down. LOL Rousey started spewing her usual idiotic garbage afterward but her voice was shaking and quivering like crazy and she was all flustered. One small victory for Holly Holm. LOLOLOL ;P ;D
I don't think I have a very sexy or feminine voice.
Like a lot of women. Who would you like to sound like?
what do you think about the jihadi attacks in Paris and the general invasion of EU?
I don't really care. The influx of "refugees" can be dealt with in one way or another and the attacks are strategically a mere pin prick.
What do you think about it?
One small victory for Holly Holm.
Meh, the only victory that matters is the one in the ring. :)
In the meantime, my nose looks determined to emulate a tiny little waterfall for the next few days. I'm having to stuff it with tissues. :/
Who would you like to sound like?
IIRC I think Lauren Hutton's voice is nice. What's funny is if I do a fake posh British accent I don't sound too bad to my own ears. ;P
What do you think about it?
I think the Hungarians have the right idea. ;P
the only victory that matters is the one in the ring. :)
True. Rousey will likely win. The 2 UFC fights that I've seen of Holm weren't very impressive. She's only getting the shot because she's 9-0 in MMA. I still think it's all rigged, but who knows what it's rigged for? Rousey might be sick of MMA. Her recent comments could be taken that way. Who knows what the truth is. UFC is all about making money and suckering peeps into buying PPV, so they'll do anything to hype this fight.
I'm having to stuff it with tissues. :/
Ugh. Been there and done that. Very annoying. I hope you feel better soon. :)
I managed to hurt my right leg when cleaning QoH's bedroom. My right quad muscle hurts like a bastard from having to repeatedly climb up on 2 milk crates to dust the tops of QoH's tall dresser and armoire. :/
Rousey will likely win.
Well, I bet you're over the moon ATM? :)
Will you write a blog article about the match?
I hope you feel better soon.
Looks like my nose ran out of snot. I'm feeling much better today. :)
My right quad muscle hurts like a bastard from having to repeatedly climb up on 2 milk crates
The large muscle in front of your thighbone? Are you sure?
Well, I bet you're over the moon ATM? :)
I watched the boring prelims last night, switched over to Les Revenants(season 2 is on over here now), and was too tired to stay up for the UFC post show so I went to bed where I had all sorts of dreams of Holly Holm winning. Then when I got up this morning the 1st thing I did was check the fight result. I have been giddy with happiness and have been wearing a shit eating grin ever since. Happy looks good on me. I literally look 10 years younger. :D
I was wishing last night that I had $100 to bet on Holm. :)
Will you write a blog article about the match?
Oh yes. :) It seems like Holm did everything I said should be done when fighting Rousey. Holm used her footwork and circled Rousey as she beat her the fuck up all during the 1st round with those nasty lefts and then blasted her in the head for that beautiful KO 59 seconds into the 2nd round(a very Dutch move ;P). The bitch was out before she hit the mat. :)
And to add insult to injury, Cyborg has been trolling Rousey via twitter. :)
Looks like my nose ran out of snot. I'm feeling much better today. :)
That's good. :) Maybe you should get some star anise for tea so you won't keep getting colds this winter.
The large muscle in front of your thighbone? Are you sure?
Quite sure. It was just strained. I'm right-side dominant, so I was stepping up onto the crates using my right leg only. The height was maybe .75 meter, so it was a large amount to step up each time with all my body weight. Next time I do it I will alternate legs.
Anyway, I managed to mow the whole yard yesterday without stopping for any breaks as it was cloudy and not at all hot. I think a front was moving in. It kinda slightly misted a bit while I was mowing, but never actually rained. As I was finishing up, it was thundering a bit. It eventually rained kinda hard around 11pm but didn't last long.
with all my body weight
That can't be that much. Did you skip leg day? ;P
I'll be looking forward to your article then. :)
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