Is there anyone out there with normal parents?
Because if there is, it really must be an amazing thing to know that your parents are not completely bat-shit insane. Just being around my mother is pure psychological torture. I'm pretty sure one of her favorite things in the world is to torture me in little sadistic passive-aggressive ways. She knows what things drive me nuts and she deliberately does them when she knows there is no way for me to escape. For example, over the weekend she wanted to go to the Penn Dutch market up in Hollywood(just going there and having to deal with the lunatics that shop there is torture enough, I think I have PTSD just from being in there) but she can't be like any normal person and take I-95 so that we can get there in 10 minutes or less. Oh no. No, no, no. She has to take a bunch of meandering side roads and if that wasn't bad enough, she has to drive so damn slow it's like she's driving Miss Daisy. I swear to god that her maximum speed was 25 mph. It took 45 minutes to get there when it should have only taken 10 minutes.
When we got to the damn store, the place was totally insane like it always is, except somehow it seemed worse than ever. The people who go in there are such rude assholes with no manners. They push and shove and act like it's going to be their last opportunity for the rest of their lives to buy some fucking meat. Christ, people! They're open like every day and they have shit-tons of meat. They're not going to run out. Don't worry. Anyway, she has to start haranguing one of the poor stock boys about whether or not the meat is actually graded "choice" because the ad says it's "choice" but the packages aren't labeled "choice." So the stock boy did what any normal person would do when dealing with my mother, he said he would go in the back and check and then never came back. After waiting about five minutes or so, she decided to go ahead and take the meat since it was apparent that the stock boy wasn't coming back.
We left there and she wanted to go to the animal shelter to look at the animals. More slow driving. There were some nice dogs and cats there. It made me think of Petrichor because they had a few cats that were free and she is well on her way to being a crazy cat lady and would probably have taken them.
After that, my mother wanted to go to the other damn side of town to return some rawhide chews that I had gotten for the dog since they were made in China and my mother doesn't trust anything from there. So we do the slow-drive all the way out there to that store and since it was the weekend before back-to-school, it was totally insane so suddenly my mother decided against it. Then we slow-drove home.
When we got home, she goes ahead and opens the package of rawhide chews and gives one to the dog anyway even after all her bitching about it. The next day my mother cooked one of the packages of meat that we had bought at Penn Dutch and I vacuum sealed the other one and put it in the freezer. Of course my mother never has a good thing to say about anything and starts going on and on that the meat is terrible, who knows were they got it, it doesn't have any flavor, it doesn't taste like beef, on and on and on. She's fucking bat-shit insane! There was nothing wrong with the damn meat! It was fine...tasted good.
So today, more of her damn insanity. And to add insult to injury, I have Ma Nature to deal with. I had to drive her to her weekly doc appointment. On the way there, she starts bitching about all the money the county is spending on new school buses with a/c and the whole nine yards for the kids. I mentioned that back when I was in school, the buses didn't have a/c or even seat belts. But luckily for me, I didn't have to ride the school bus and the only time I was in one was when my class would go on a field trip somewhere. Then my mother lays into me that I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, that I rode the school bus every morning to school and that *she remembers* because she had to get me ready every morning. Well, I just about hit the fucking ceiling because I have never in my life heard of such a fantasy and that she had the fucking nerve to be arguing with me about it. I. NEVER. RODE. THE. FUCKING. BUS. NEVER!!!! YOU DROVE ME TO FUCKING SCHOOL EVERY FUCKING MORNING AND PICKED ME UP AFTERWARD AND WHEN DAD HAD A DAY OFF FROM WORK HE WOULD TAKE ME AND PICK ME UP!!!!!!!!! Oh my effing god, so that erupted into a real full blown argument complete with me calling her a fucking delusional lunatic and her telling me to go fuck myself amongst other choice words. She's such a damn nut-job. I was sooooo fuming mad that after she got settled with the doctor, instead of me going to the waiting room I went back out to my car to call my dad so that he could confirm to me that I indeed never rode the fucking bus to school. Well, he did indeed confirm that *I* was right and that my mother is a delusional lunatic.
Anyway, while I had my dad on the phone, I asked him how his last trip to Tennessee went. Pretty good, it seems. He bought 5 acres of land with a house on it and got it super cheap. With any luck, he'll leave it to me in his will. I've always wanted a house in the mountains! He's going back up in a week so I hope he takes some pictures. Usually my dad is just about as nuts as my mother, but it seems he made a good decision about something for once.
When we got to the damn store, the place was totally insane like it always is, except somehow it seemed worse than ever. The people who go in there are such rude assholes with no manners. They push and shove and act like it's going to be their last opportunity for the rest of their lives to buy some fucking meat. Christ, people! They're open like every day and they have shit-tons of meat. They're not going to run out. Don't worry. Anyway, she has to start haranguing one of the poor stock boys about whether or not the meat is actually graded "choice" because the ad says it's "choice" but the packages aren't labeled "choice." So the stock boy did what any normal person would do when dealing with my mother, he said he would go in the back and check and then never came back. After waiting about five minutes or so, she decided to go ahead and take the meat since it was apparent that the stock boy wasn't coming back.
We left there and she wanted to go to the animal shelter to look at the animals. More slow driving. There were some nice dogs and cats there. It made me think of Petrichor because they had a few cats that were free and she is well on her way to being a crazy cat lady and would probably have taken them.
After that, my mother wanted to go to the other damn side of town to return some rawhide chews that I had gotten for the dog since they were made in China and my mother doesn't trust anything from there. So we do the slow-drive all the way out there to that store and since it was the weekend before back-to-school, it was totally insane so suddenly my mother decided against it. Then we slow-drove home.
When we got home, she goes ahead and opens the package of rawhide chews and gives one to the dog anyway even after all her bitching about it. The next day my mother cooked one of the packages of meat that we had bought at Penn Dutch and I vacuum sealed the other one and put it in the freezer. Of course my mother never has a good thing to say about anything and starts going on and on that the meat is terrible, who knows were they got it, it doesn't have any flavor, it doesn't taste like beef, on and on and on. She's fucking bat-shit insane! There was nothing wrong with the damn meat! It was fine...tasted good.
So today, more of her damn insanity. And to add insult to injury, I have Ma Nature to deal with. I had to drive her to her weekly doc appointment. On the way there, she starts bitching about all the money the county is spending on new school buses with a/c and the whole nine yards for the kids. I mentioned that back when I was in school, the buses didn't have a/c or even seat belts. But luckily for me, I didn't have to ride the school bus and the only time I was in one was when my class would go on a field trip somewhere. Then my mother lays into me that I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, that I rode the school bus every morning to school and that *she remembers* because she had to get me ready every morning. Well, I just about hit the fucking ceiling because I have never in my life heard of such a fantasy and that she had the fucking nerve to be arguing with me about it. I. NEVER. RODE. THE. FUCKING. BUS. NEVER!!!! YOU DROVE ME TO FUCKING SCHOOL EVERY FUCKING MORNING AND PICKED ME UP AFTERWARD AND WHEN DAD HAD A DAY OFF FROM WORK HE WOULD TAKE ME AND PICK ME UP!!!!!!!!! Oh my effing god, so that erupted into a real full blown argument complete with me calling her a fucking delusional lunatic and her telling me to go fuck myself amongst other choice words. She's such a damn nut-job. I was sooooo fuming mad that after she got settled with the doctor, instead of me going to the waiting room I went back out to my car to call my dad so that he could confirm to me that I indeed never rode the fucking bus to school. Well, he did indeed confirm that *I* was right and that my mother is a delusional lunatic.
Anyway, while I had my dad on the phone, I asked him how his last trip to Tennessee went. Pretty good, it seems. He bought 5 acres of land with a house on it and got it super cheap. With any luck, he'll leave it to me in his will. I've always wanted a house in the mountains! He's going back up in a week so I hope he takes some pictures. Usually my dad is just about as nuts as my mother, but it seems he made a good decision about something for once.
posted by Xul at 9:22 PM
11 Comments:
Hm, your mother does seem a little annoying now and then, the way you describe her.
He bought 5 acres of land with a house on it
So he's going to move there?
So he's going to move there? I wish I was moving there! I don't know, it might be an investment property but he did say he was thinking about moving up there since the city where he lives is getting too expensive with all the taxes and fees and stupid regulations. His SiL lives up there, too. That's how he found the property he bought, he was visiting her and wanted to see if he could get something cheap.
I wish I was moving there!
I don't know much about Tennessee. Don't a lot of country singers come from there? Is it culturally similar to Florida?
Oh, to answer you question, no, I don't think there's anyone out there with "normal" parents. Everybody has quirks. Not all quirks are easy to ignore, unfortunately.
It's just very, very annoying when you live with someone who insists that their delusions are your reality and they are so impossible to be around because of the total self-centeredness and insistence on having their way all. the. time. My dad can be delusional too, but at least I don't live with him and can limit my interactions with him to phone calls once in a blue moon. Growing up with both of them was nightmarish at times.
I don't know much about Tennessee. Don't a lot of country singers come from there? Is it culturally similar to Florida? The area is a bit north and east of Chattanooga in the mountains. There are actual Americans who live up there so it would be similar to the Florida of 30 years ago. And no hurricanes, so that's good, too. Dollywood is not too far from there, named after Dolly Parton who is...a country singer! LOL
It's just very, very annoying when you live with someone who insists that their delusions are your reality
Yes, it's very tiresome, I agree. It is the reason I spend most of my time in my old bedroom (which now a storage area for clothes and an the location of old computer that I use as a TV) when I'm at home.
named after Dolly Parton who is...a country singer! LOL
She's well known over here too (well, used to be sort of. I doubt the younglings still know of her.)
I spend most of my time in my bedroom for the same reason. Then she has the nerve to complain about me spending all my time in there. Hello? I'm trying to avoid YOU, ma. You'd think she'd figure that out. Only she's one of these "special" people who is blameless. It could *never* be her fault, it's always everyone else with the issues.
Yeah, my parents do something similar. Especially my mother. If she can't nag she's not happy. So then she starts to mull over things which apparently she can't do without humming. And she hums a *lot*. I often ask her to please stop. She acts surprised, stops humming for 5 minutes and then continues. She's been doing that for at least 30 years. So frustrating when I was doing my homework.
There's fireworks outside ATM. It marks the end of this years' kermis. And I suppose also the start of a new school year for most kids.
Oh, my mother loves a good nag. She's a professional nagger. She can always find something to complain about, too. Her latest annoying behaviors are to watch the TV and write notes of everything being said. She's a notoriously poor speller, so she's always asking me how to spell things all day long. It's like every day is a spelling bee around here. Then the other thing she does is watch those intolerable political shows and scream at the TV. Literally scream at the TV as if they can hear her. I've asked her many times not to do that since it's soooooo annoying but that would mean having some consideration for someone other than herself, so no dice there.
Unfortunately, I've no fireworks to look at but there may be a hurricane by the weekend. I certainly hope not. I detest hurricanes. More nagging and overreacting on her part and if the power goes out, lots of $$$ lost to spoilage because of her infernal food hoarding habit.
Literally scream at the TV as if they can hear her
Well, that's not *that* strange. I bet you do that during a sports match.
a hurricane by the weekend.
Oh, dear. Not good. Are you taking any precautions?
that's not *that* strange. I bet you do that during a sports match. Yeah, but not every day, all day long. It's not nice living with someone who is angry about something all the time.
Are you taking any precautions? At this point, it's more of a wait and see thing. It's projected to be in the area by Sunday but the forecast track ATM has it *maybe* going on the west coast as a Cat 1 storm. If it stays that close I'd have to put the hurricane panels on and round up all the loose crap from around the yard. Of, course, my mother would make me put the panels up even if it was a weak tropical storm.
Arekino-san, I'm having trouble with my internet again. I have intermittent service at best so if you don't get any replies for a while that's what happened to me. I called the company but I'm waiting for a call back...who knows when?
The hurricane *might* not be giving us a direct hit...looks more on a westerly path up the gulf coast. We still will be getting wind and rain Sunday night or Monday. As of right now, the storm was looking a little raggedy and not strengthening like they had initially planned, so that's good. However, with hurricanes anything can happen, so keep your fingers crossed! Hope to be seeing ya later!
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