A Resurrection Of Sorts

I've found inspiration from my favorite Tartaned Tart.

When I was a child, I was an avid little artist. I loved to draw. I drew on things ever since I was old enough to hold a pencil. And I was very creative with other things as well. I made slippers out of melaleuca bark when I was about six years of age so I wouldn't burn my feet on the hot sidewalk (I still remember the neighbor lady remarking at how creative I was). I loved making tree forts and little huts out of branches and palm fronds that I would find. I always wanted to be an artist.

My mother, on the other hand, did not want me to be an artist. I remember one time when I told her that I wanted to be an artist, her telling me that, "Artists starve." No, instead of having me do what I loved, what I was passionate for, she would rather have me do something practical, something where I would make lots of money... like being a doctor or lawyer. She'll never know how that statement wounded me to the core. Oh, she was very proud of my artistic abilities; it was something that she could brag about. But I don't think she saw it as a valuable skill. (Gawd, I'm getting choked up just writing that!)

Despite all that, I drew and enjoyed it all through elementary and high school. I received all sorts of accolades from the teachers as well as the students. I won several blue ribbons from drawings that I had entered in the county fair as well as little awards from the school.

But soon after I left high school it was all over. With my mother's words still echoing in my head I resolved never to draw again. Why should I continue doing something that was just a "novelty"?

Well, fuck all that! It was a mistake on my part to stop creating. So last night, I decided to see if I still had "the touch". I didn't have to make some masterpiece, just try drawing your guitar for Christ's sake! So I scratched it out. A simple drawing of a Fender Stratocaster-shaped guitar. Good enough. I still have it. (Of course, I DID try drawing again at the urging of "Head Fuck", but I was too creatively blocked as well as depressed to do it then.) Hell, I never stopped being an artist, it's one of those intrinsic qualities. Suppressing my creativity is not something I'll be doing again. While I doubt that I'll try to pursue art as a profession (I draw for enjoyment and self expression, it becomes a chore if it's something I have to do) I'm at least going to "do my thing" for my own gratification.

So here's a little sample of what I'm capable of.

This is a picture of Bruin's goaltender Andy Moog that I did when I was in high school. Combining two of my passions?

And this is Mike Patton, formerly from the band Faith No More. I always wanted to be in a band, too, but I was utter shite at playing instruments or singing. (Hell, that didn't seem to stop a lot of people, did it?)

BTW, the pix look MUCH better in person.

One last thought: People who are too weak or fearful to follow their own dreams will always find a way to discourage yours.