Happy 4th of July and all that crap
It seems that the older I get, the less I'm interested in celebrating holidays (except for Halloween, of course). The 4th just doesn't do it for me anymore. I just couldn't be arsed to get off my nice, comfy couch, get out into the insane South Florida traffic, all to stand around in the rain with stupid ass, annoying people just to see 15 minutes worth of fireworks.
No, not me.
That would all be completely unnecessary. Why? Because I live in the ghetto. Now most folks suffer under the misconception that people in the ghetto are utterly deprived. This is not entirely true. Now, these same people might not have the money for rent, but there is ALWAYS money enough for fireworks! And not just any rinky-dink sparklers and smoke bombs, but the finest illegal fireworks smuggled in from Georgia!
Now if you go down to see one of the municipalities' fireworks shows, all you're going to get is a 15 to 20 minute show at the max. New York City? Maybe 30 to 45 minutes. But here in the ghetto? Seven straight hours worth of pyrotechnic splendor!
I think my neighbors did a mighty fine job re-enacting the Battle of Baghdad this year. Hell, the smoke is still hanging in the air thicker than at Seminole Bingo and it's just a little after 1am!
Great job, people. You really out did yourselves this year.
No, not me.
That would all be completely unnecessary. Why? Because I live in the ghetto. Now most folks suffer under the misconception that people in the ghetto are utterly deprived. This is not entirely true. Now, these same people might not have the money for rent, but there is ALWAYS money enough for fireworks! And not just any rinky-dink sparklers and smoke bombs, but the finest illegal fireworks smuggled in from Georgia!
Now if you go down to see one of the municipalities' fireworks shows, all you're going to get is a 15 to 20 minute show at the max. New York City? Maybe 30 to 45 minutes. But here in the ghetto? Seven straight hours worth of pyrotechnic splendor!
I think my neighbors did a mighty fine job re-enacting the Battle of Baghdad this year. Hell, the smoke is still hanging in the air thicker than at Seminole Bingo and it's just a little after 1am!
Great job, people. You really out did yourselves this year.
posted by Xul at 12:51 AM
3 Comments:
"Now, these same people might not have the money for rent, but there is ALWAYS money enough for fireworks!"
And here I thought I was the only one in the blogosphere that lived in the ghetto.
And yes, it's the same here, they just get them from Mexico or Nevada.
Our windows were rattling worse than when we got the sonic boom the other week from the Space Shuttle landing.
"And here I thought I was the only one in the blogosphere that lived in the ghetto."
And you're not the only one on dial-up, either.
No shit? We've got to form a club, or something.
Post a Comment
<< Home