Dark Light

Game of Thorns

2012-02-13T22:28:00.002-05:00

Dear Cupid,

You can take your arrows and stick them up your arse.

Thatisall.

xoxo,

Xul

Welkom!

2011-11-16T20:06:00.003-05:00

Hello to all my Dutch peeps who are stopping by for Sinterklaas! For after all, Xul's Dark Light is the home for all your Sinterklaas, eye patch thong, and Poltergeist girl/Christy Lane needs!

Oh! While you're here...does anyone know where I might find Arekino? Maybe he's being extra-super bad so Piet will haul him off to Spain. Piet should bring him to me! I know just what to do with naughty boys like Arekino! But if he ever decided to be a very good boy, he'd get an extra special surprise!

Missing Arekino

2011-08-11T18:02:00.003-04:00

Oh, Arekino! Where have you gone? Where, oh where could you be? Are you going to make me resort to drastic measures? You're going to make me do it, aren't you? Well, you've left me no choice then. Bad limericks it is!

Once upon a hot summer
Our favorite Dutchman did a runner
He's buggered off far away
And left us in dismay
And it's a total freakin' bummer!

There once was a man from Noord Brabant
To whom many emails have been sent
But alas, no reply!
Did he up and die?
Arekino, where the hell have you went?

Official Sponsor

2011-08-08T21:18:00.000-04:00

Theme Song

2011-07-28T20:56:00.001-04:00

Too bad these guys don't do free concerts in the park!

The Next Big Thing

2011-02-19T21:31:00.005-05:00

Shamelessly stolen from elsewhere, try this little exercise: come up with a band name, album title, and cover art using various websites. Here are the rules:

1 – Go to Wikipedia and hit random. The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
2 – Go to quotationspage.com and hit random. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
3 – Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”. Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4 – Use Photoshop or similar (picnik.com is a free online photo editor) to put it all together.
5 – Post it on your blog along with these instructions, and trackback or link to your post in these comments. Go. DO IT NOW. Or not.

For what it's worth, mine looks pretty badass. LA Urban Rangers. Looks like it could be trip hop like Portishead. And the title came from an Aldous Huxley quote: "Maybe this world is another planet's hell." Sounds like my kind of shizzle.

And Now We Dance

2011-01-10T19:28:00.001-05:00

Heeeeere's Xully!

2010-10-23T20:31:00.002-04:00

No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl. No work and no play makes Xul a dull girl.

An Undergarment or an Eye Patch?

2010-04-28T20:48:00.004-04:00

Dudes, seriously? WTF is it with this? Ya go to Ross or TJ Maxx or Marshalls or whatever el cheapo discount store of your choice trying to find a regular ol' cotton bikini brief that covers the ol' rump roast and there's nothing! Nada! Zip! Zilch! The only thing to be found are these freakin' gawd awful thongs! I don't want to deliberately give myself a wedgie. I don't want to floss my arse. Have the Underpants Gnomes taken all the regular underpants away to their secret underpants lair, still waiting to figure out step #2?

So how do you lot feel about thongs? (And if you answer "with my hands" I'll hunt you down and give ya a SMACK!) Choose one or give me an original answer:

Yes! I love to floss my arse!
Yes! If that's the popular thing, count me in!
No way! I don't want to floss my arse!
I prefer regular underpants.
I'm a leezer and prefer to wear men's y-fronts.
I'm a dude and I love to wear the ol' banana hammock and butt floss combo!
I'm a dude and prefer boxers.
I like to go commando.

What Is Wrong With This Picture?

2010-01-06T21:18:00.004-05:00

Where I live we are currently under a "Freeze Warning" and a "Wind Chill Advisory." We have been having colder than usual temperatures here since just after Christmas and all the local inhabitants have been bitching and grousing ever since.

When I was a child we used to get extended periods of cold weather that could last until May so I don't see what all the fuss is about. It snowed once in South Florida when I was a wee child. They should all be happy that it is not a repeat performance of The Great Blizzard of 1899 where we had "gulf effect" snow.

One of the great benefits of all this arctic air is all those horrible enormous non-native iguanas are carking it thither and yon and falling dead right out of the trees. Leave it to Mother Nature to do what the State won't!

The overnight temperature is supposed to be 39°F tonight(that's 4°C for the non-Americans)with a wind chill of 28°F(-1°C). I have to laugh when the lady giving the weather update on the radio says that "...there's no end in sight to this cold weather!" I guess she's never heard of this thing called spring.

Happy New Year!

2009-12-31T23:10:00.002-05:00

The heavy shelling shall commence here in about 50 minutes. Good riddance to 2009; what a fucking miserable cunt of a year. May the next year be a far sight better.

Happy Feast of Sinterklaas

2009-12-06T21:18:00.003-05:00

Today is the Feast of Sinterklaas and yesterday was the Eve of the feast. If you are Dutch or of Dutch ancestry, you already know all this. If you are not, now you know. This is where the American Santa Claus comes from. The Dutch folks who lived up where New York is now (used to be New Amsterdam) brought the tradition to America.

Sinterklaas used to be the Archbishop of Myra but now he lives in Spain and comes to bring gifts by way of steamship to all the good Dutch children. Sinterklaas has a helper called Svarte Piet (Black Pete) who comes down the chimney to deliver the gifts or a small bundle of sticks for the baddies.

Sinter and Piet had a bit of trouble at my place this year because my fireplace is a fake one and I don't have a chimney. And also because my dog is a racist. (Inside joke!) So I had to go to the store last night to pick up some almond cookies and gingerbread cookies myself. The cookies were quite good because they were made by the elves who live in a tree, which is the proper place for elves to live, not at the North Pole, because that is a terrible place to live. You can't even get a decent tangerine up there!

If this post is bizarre it is because I've had a few too many Grolsches and am revelling in my wee bit o' Dutchness. So there.

I Need A Better Camera Phone

2009-10-18T00:29:00.002-04:00

Ok, since some of you are demanding pics, here's your damn picture! Yes, I know it's shitty. My phone takes shitty pictures and is old. I'm poor, don't judge me. I would really like to get one of those thin, pocket sized cameras so that I can stealthily take pictures of the PoWM and other assorted freaks. It's just not that easy to secrete the Canon Eos Digital Rebel XT in my pocket without looking like one of the aforementioned freaks!

So there. What you are looking at above is what I believe to be a couple of cult members who were working the parking lot of my local grocery store. They were probably trying for converts, or more importantly, cash donations. Since the resolution quality is shite, let me describe in detail what they were wearing: white do-rags, white under-robes, red over-robes and saucer sized gold medallions. I think they were wearing sandals as well. Pure awesomeness!

I seriously need to get a smaller camera because I see amazing things almost every day. I just can't risk taking my big ass Canon everywhere. That fucker was too damned expensive! But I will, just for you, my dear readers, go on a special assignment to a place called The Ham and Eggery to get a pic of a most excellent vehicle parked over there! And I even have a great story to go along with it!

Sexay!

2009-10-13T00:50:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I just have to wonder what the hell some people are thinking when they dress themselves to go out in public. Usually my judgement is only fleeting, usually over the all too familiar sight of the size 18 arse squeezed into the size 10 jeans, or the 8 1/2 month pregnant woman wearing a tube top, or the wannabe gangsta types with the 5 sizes too large pants with the belt cinched up under the arse and the crotch hanging to the knees. I bet you all think you look just fabulous! But I digress. These things aren't really worthy of a blog post.

No. Today I saw a dude wearing an outfit so fabulous that I had to take a special mental note so that I would remember to do a post. It was an older gentleman, perhaps in his late fifties, with long white hair and a white goat beard with the moustache portion waxed into fine points. He was wearing a black beret, a purple long sleaved shirt, white gauzy linen-looking pants that were about 2 inches too short, and brown Crocs! Oh, my! Try not to get the vapours at that description!

Porcine Aeronautics

2009-10-08T23:03:00.004-04:00

While trying to find a picture to go along with this post, I found this here site for a hostel in Amsterdam, which made me think of Arekino. Where the hell are ya, anyway? The last time you lurked around here was months ago! Don't make me come over there, Mister!

Anyway, back to the regularly scheduled post. (HA!) Seems that Shut-In Girl across the street got the dreaded swine flu and was in the hospital for four days with double pneumonia to go along with it. Bummer. She, her bro, and their grandma were all shut up in the house for two weeks under quarantine. I would be fucking ready to kill if I had to be stuck in the house for that long. Weird thing is, she was the only one who got sick. Actually, that really doesn't surprise me at all since she eats the most piss poor diet, is quite over weight, and never gets out in the sun.

Eat properly, people! That's half the battle! And take a good liquid vitamin supplement. Get out in the sun so your body can make vitamin D. Take an extra vitamin D supplement just in case. Then you will hardly ever get sick. Unless, of course, you slack off like I did back in March. I think I got the dread pestilence before it was fashionable. Now thank Dr. Xul for the sermon.

This post is getting rambly. I blame Sirius 1st Wave. They're playing Ziggy Stardust as performed by Bauhaus and it is Teh Awesome.

Darwin Awards Nominee?

2009-10-05T23:51:00.002-04:00

I see this kind of crap on a weekly basis.

AL (WAFF) - A woman was arrested after police discovered a teenager inside a cardboard box on the roof of a vehicle.

So what would posses someone to do such a thing?

Because it "wouldn't fit in her minivan."

Never heard of breaking it down and assembling it later, I guess. I'm amazed that children who have parents like this ever survive to adulthood.

Allow Me To Serenade You With My Ukulele

2009-09-29T00:43:00.002-04:00

Dirty Fuckers

2009-09-28T00:38:00.002-04:00

The uncivilized behavior of the marauding Philistine hoardes never ceases to amaze me. It wouldn't be so bad if we had some quality control standards for what gets let into the country. But nooooo! What we get are dirty fuckers who come into your yard, take a massive runny shite into a plastic grocery bag, wipe their arse with a tea towel, and toss the whole lot into your lillies. Dirty fucking bastards! Stay the hell out of my yard!

No Country For Old Xuls

2009-09-22T02:17:00.004-04:00

I didn't care for that movie one bit and I care even less about stumbling into its plot yesterday. I'd just like all the local riffraff to know that the grounds of El Castillo de Xul are no place for your activities. And if anyone shows up with one of those compressed air thingies you are hereby warned- I'm noone to be trifled with.

Fuck right off!

So, uh...huh, huh,huh...you like to eat out? Huh, huh, huh

2009-09-14T22:36:00.013-04:00

Yes, I'll admit it, I have a junior high sense of humor. And it's pictures like these that have the power to get me out of my blog funk and get back to posting.

Hey Knudie, I didn't know ya had a place in Delaware?

I'll also admit that one of my goals in life is to own my own pub and call it The Budgie's Tongue. And I don't care a lick if it sounds like a leezer bar.

Happy Cows Are Tax-Free Cows

2009-06-19T23:46:00.002-04:00

This story made me chorfle out loud. It sure did.

Spacker

2009-06-18T19:59:00.007-04:00

No doubt you have probably heard the story about the stupid, Belgian bint who claims to have fallen asleep while having her face tattooed, and upon awakening from her restful slumber, was horrified and aghast to find that the artiste had taken artistic license (as artistes are wont to do), and had engraved her face with 56 stars instead of the mere 3 that she had requested.

First of all, I'd just like to say to Miss Thang, You are a fucking LIAR!!! Nobody "falls asleep" while having their face tattooed. You couldn't butch up and take responsibility for the stupid arsed decision to put 56 tattoos on your face when Daddy and Boyfriend made a stink about it, so you blamed the tattoo artist.

Secondly, all the Belgians I have ever met have been supreme aresholes, and you, Miss, are no exception.

"I cannot go out on to the street, I am so embarrassed. I just look horrible."

That makes me LOL, it really does. You should be more embarrassed about that ensemble you have put together. You got dressed all by yourself there, luv? At least the tats are a merciful distraction. And dude, sexy? LOL Puh-lease! Try slapper.

The stupid slag is now suing Rouslan Toumaniantz, the tattoo artist, for £10,ooo after she had paid £55 (for tattoos that's quite the bargain) for "the graffiti that has ruined her life." Mr. Toumaniantz says she knew exactly what she wanted.

I ask you, Is this the face of a liar?

Is it just me, or do you also find his spectacles a bit distracting from the overall look he's trying to achieve there?

I think it's safe to assume that it's not MENSA on the line.

It Annoys me

2009-04-20T23:08:00.007-04:00

People talk so much shit on blogs and in comments. It annoys me when it is obvious that people have no clue as to what they are talking about yet will drone on ad nauseum as if they are the very experts.

"Mobil" star restaurant? Qu'est-ce que c'est? I've only heard of Michelin starred restaurants. Is the other thing a rating for gas station food counters?

"Garcon" means "boy." "Garçon de café" is waiter.

Squid, or calimari as it is known, is not tough and chewy if it is cooked properly. It gets that way when it's overcooked. And if it tastes fishy it's old and probably been frozen for God knows how long.

So if you don't know what you are fucking talking about, please shut your gob and stop being such an annoying cunt.

So, How'd It Go At Government Hell?

2009-04-17T20:46:00.002-04:00

Aargh! Long story...just anything that the govt. runs turns into a rat fuck. (And people want them to run health care?!?) It used to be when you had to renew your license you could do it by mail. Well, since last Oct. all that has changed. I thought it was a law that the state had changed but noooo! it is actually a fed mandated thing. Now you are supposed to bring a birth cert, social security card, and proof of address.

I actually went online to make the appointment (NEVER go to the DMV without an appt!) and fill out the form. So I go in there today(they tell you to get there 15 early) I was actually 1/2 hr early. Walk in, the lady checks me in and I waited about 25 minutes. So when the examiner actually calls me up, Guess what? She doesn't ask for any of my documents! She just asks if I'm a citizen and is my address the same. What the fuck is the point of "preventing ID fraud/identity theft/heightened security" if they don't ask for documentation?

After I get my new pic taken I'm told to have a seat while the new license is being printed. So 1/2 hr later, the first lady who checked me in says, "you should have been finished a long time ago. Who waited on you?" So I told her. She goes to check, the first bitch never sent my info to print! So check-in lady told the other lady who was still there to do it since it was almost 5 pm and the other workers had already ran out of there like the place was on fire. So the other lady did it and it only took like 2 minutes.

I HATE the DMV. So my new pic makes me look homicidal. Can't imagine why. If you look at that picture long enough you will burst into flames! And you will probably deserve it. LOL

Hell Is Spelled D-M-V

2009-04-12T23:04:00.002-04:00

Because the government is comprised of a bunch of assholes, I can no longer renew my drivers' license by mail. Now I have to make a fucking appointment and go appear live and in person with the required documentation. Big, fucking pain in the ass. I shall bestow the Honour of my Presence upon the DMV this Friday.

Now I have to descend down to the Hall of Records to crack open the Vault and rummage around to find my birth cert and my social security card. In honour of my misserabe situation I present to you a little ditty by Primus:

Sick

2009-03-18T23:04:00.002-04:00

I have the flu. And not just any ol' garden variety flu. This is the one from Hell. My body is trying to cough my lungs out but in the process I nearly choked to death on extra thick, nasty ass phlegm and almost popped an eyeball out.

I've had the wickedest sore throat for the last four days. I finally got rid of it today. I'll take any other symptom any day over a sore throat. That's the fucking worst.

I'm actually starting to feel a bit better after taking the Mucinex. That stuff is the shit! I am sooo ready to be well again.

Been Busy

2009-03-14T23:24:00.002-04:00

Had a death in the family recently. Too busy trying to get the person's flat cleared out hence the lack of posting 'round here. Flat-clearing-outing is a whole post unto itself. Oh. Mah. Gawd.

Hint Taken

2009-02-16T21:01:00.002-05:00

So, yeah Nations, I can take a hint. Over a month is WAY too long to go without posting something. And yes, I should TOTALLY do the "Freak Series." I think to start it off, instead of giving the honour of first to one of the local garden variety freaks, I'll start it off properly with the Freak Master of All Freaks, the one known as "Head Fuck," or HF for short. Of course, by starting with HF, it may just make the rest of the series anticlimactic. But who cares? (Actually, the HF Chronicles could be a series of its own.)

HF is someone I had the misfortune of first meeting by way of the interweb via HF's blog. Of course blog reading leads to commenting which leads to emails and in this particular case, to in person interaction.

Anyhoo, HF turned out to be a real head case. Now, I have no formal training in the psychiatric profession but I can recognize certifiable when I see it. The first time I met HF in person I got that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach cuz ol' HF looked nothing like the picture that I had assumed to be HF. That's what happens when we assume. Then we start rationalizing. Second mistake. First mistake was not listening to the gut. Always listen to the gut.

So we go on up to HF's place and HF proceeds to tell me about all the stuff in the flat that the ex roommate had bought for HF and what a loser and an asshole ex roommate was etc., etc., etc. Oh, this was going to turn out just wonderfully!

Yeah.

So then HF wants to go get a bite to eat. And btw, HF had no job at the time. Naturally, where does a broke, unemployed person go for a bite but to an overpriced restaurant. Uh huh. And let's of course sit outside so that we can shout at "the rude people" who blow their horns in traffic. And get all pissed off when I answer my cell phone. And get pissed when the waitress compliments me on my hair. And complain about the food. And after the meal let's pick a fight with a stranger for the high crime of blocking the pedestrian crosswalk.

Soooo, back to the flat. Sit around, shoot the shit...Hey! Let's go back out for drinks! More complaining about the food. And the service. Have a few too many, drop me back at my place. And when I say drop me at my place, let's not waste any time actually pulling into my driveway and see that I get in safely, let's do the 30 roll and tell me, "Ok, get out!"

Charming. The fucker was so miserable and disagreeable I expected that to be the last I'd see of HF. Was I ever wrong.

I think I will make this its own series.

I Don't Have To Take Your Stinking 16 Hour Course!

2009-01-02T00:41:00.003-05:00

So, I've been bitching and grousing about that damned hunter safety course requirement for getting a hunting license, right? Well, I discovered that you can do an online course and then a shorter in-classroom requirement. Sure beats having to drive up north an hour and a half!

I completed section one of the course so far. Took all of 10 minutes. Just like anything else the government has its hand in, the quizzes are dumbed down multiple choice so as to not exclude anyone. Shouldn't be too difficult to complete the rest. Now I'll just have to get some range time in so I can sharpen my shooting skills.

So I'm NOT The Only One

2009-01-02T00:36:00.002-05:00

Yah, so... Just checked my sight meter and what do ya know? Got a hit avalanche going on over the last post! Seems quite a few people have noticed that the little girl in the Cristy Lane commercial looks a helluva lot like the Poltergeist girl. I'm just going to go ahead and call it. I say she's the Poltergeist girl!

Hmmm...

2008-12-02T23:37:00.002-05:00

So. If you have been watching any tv at all, you no doubt have seen those commercials for the Christy Lane Christmas music 3 cd collection. Looks like that commercial was pulled out of moth balls. Anyhoo, is it just me, or does that not look like the little girl who was in the Poltergeist movie at the beginning of said commercial?

Proof That I Know What I'm Talking About

2008-11-24T21:52:00.003-05:00

Americans have the dumb: Haven't the first clue when it comes to American history and Civics.

Just today, to-freakin'-day I was grousing at the tv in the docs waiting room about how all the assholes in the government haven't the first fucking clue about how the government is supposed to function according to the Constitution and how the vast majority don't even have a basic knowlege of economics, much to the amusement of the two other folks in the room, and also about how ignorant the average person is when it comes to government or economics.

Major Findings

Finding 1:

Americans Fail the Test of Civic Literacy

Seventy-one percent of Americans fail the test, with an overall average score of 49%.

Liberals score 49%; conservatives score 48%. Republicans score 52%; Democrats score 45%.
Fewer than half of all Americans can name all three branches of government, a minimal requirement for understanding America’s constitutional system.

That's fucking pathetic. Executive, Legislative, and Judicial for those not in the know.

Finding 2:

Americans Agree:
Colleges Should Teach America’s Heritage

Americans remain divided over many issues, but on one they have forged a deep consensus. A large majority agrees that colleges should prepare citizen leaders by teaching America’s history, key texts, and institutions.

Seventy-three percent in the West, 69% in the Midwest, 74% in the Northeast, and 74% in the South agree.
Seventy-four percent of conservatives agree, as do 71% of liberals.
Seventy-two percent with a high school diploma and 74% with a graduate degree agree.

Uuuuhhhh, ya think?

Finding 3:

College Adds Little to Civic Knowledge

Earning a college degree does little to increase knowledge of America’s history, key texts, and institutions. The average score among those who ended their formal education with a bachelor’s degree is 57%, or an “F.” That is only 13 percentage points higher than the average score among those who ended their formal education with a high school diploma.

Only 24% of college graduates know the First Amendment prohibits establishing an official religion for the United States.

Case in point: my ex-friend Mrs. PA, who has two Masters degrees and zero clue when it came to the subject of good governance.

Finding 4:

Television—Including TV News—Dumbs America Down

ISI examined whether other factors add to or subtract from civic literacy and how they compare with the impact of college. The survey revealed that in today’s technological age, all else remaining equal, a person’s test score drops in proportion to the time he or she spends using certain types of passive electronic media. Talking on the phone, watching owned or rented movies, and monitoring TV news broadcasts and documentaries diminish a respondent’s civic literacy.

In contrast to these negative influences, the civic knowledge gained from the inexpensive combination of engaging in frequent conversations about public affairs, reading about current events and history, and participating in more involved civic activities is greater than the gain from an expensive bachelor’s degree alone.

Finding 5:

What College Graduates Don’t Know About America

By the time an American earns a bachelor’s degree, it is highly unlikely that he or she will have a solid command of the founding and Civil War eras, core constitutional principles, and market economics. Pre-college education tends to increase knowledge of themes from twentieth-century American history at the expense of economics and pre-twentieth-century themes that tend to be the foundation of much subsequent political discourse. Colleges begin to reverse this trend, but not enough to close significant gaps in these crucial categories of civic knowledge.

Only 54% can correctly identify a basic description of the free enterprise system, in which all Americans participate.

Sad, sad. All very sad considering I learned the majority of that stuff BY THE TIME I FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL.

Additional Finding

Elected Officials Score Lower than the General Public

Officeholders typically have less civic knowledge than the general public. On average, they score 44%, five percentage points lower than non-officeholders.

Thirty percent of elected officials do not know that “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” are the inalienable rights referred to in the Declaration of Independence.

Which I can attest to from personal experience. My dirty little secret is that I worked for 10 years in a "technically" government job. Oh. My. Effin'. Gawd.

And because I'm a smarty pants, I just had to take the quiz. I got 88%. (missed 4, but WAY better than average) Not too bad since I haven't been in school for like a decade.

That, And A Fire This Tall

2008-11-23T23:22:00.003-05:00

You know what really burns my ass? All the fucking bullshit government interference and bureaucracy regarding every fucking aspect of your life. Any fucking thing that you want to do, the fucking government has thought up a way to make you pay dearly for. Want to go to the beach? Gotta pay a fucking meter. Want to go to the park? Gotta pay an entrance fee. Want to go hunting? Gotta buy a license AND permits. And what REALLY has me fired up-(puns if ya want 'em) you can't get the fucking license without first taking a god damned 16 hour Hunting Safety Course!

The fuck?!? Sixteen fucking hours? Are you fucking shitting me? Just what the fuck is so vitally important that it's going to take sixteen hours to learn? I already know how to shoot fucking guns and I know all about gun safety. And the nearest place to take the class is two hours up the road in fucking N. Palm Beach County?!?

Well fuck me. Not good enough that you've been handling guns pretty much all your life. Yeah, my parents started me off with an air rifle when I was a wee lass. Nowadays they would probably be arrested for child abuse or child endangerment or some such horseshit.

Long gone are the days of dispatching small quarry in the back yard with an air rifle. Now you'll be arrested for animal cruelty.

It's really all out of control. I know there are plenty of jackasses out there who ruin it for everyone because they have no sense and no respect, but still! Sixteen hours? I just can't take it. It really offends my libertarian sensibilities (there, I've outed myself). Land of the free my ass.
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Sixteen hours. It didn't take that much time to prep for a fucking drivers license. That only took a four hour dumb ass class, five minutes on the DMV's computer for the written test, and a five minute spin around the DMV road test course (not actually driving on the road in real traffic, mind you). I'm pretty sure more people are killed with the deadly weapons known as automobiles each year than out in the fucking woods hunting.

[wanders off grumbling]

Who Writes This Shite Anyway?

2008-11-22T21:20:00.003-05:00

So this is going around like a bad penny at the moment. They think my humble, wee blog is written by a woman (68%). Only 68%? Guess all the gardening posts were dead giveaways.

Then there's this. Seems I'm an ISTP- The Mechanics or some such bollocks.

ISTP - The Mechanics

The independent and problem-solving type. They are especially attuned to the demands of the moment are masters of responding to challenges that arise spontaneously. They generally prefer to think things out for themselves and often avoid inter-personal conflicts.

The Mechanics enjoy working together with other independent and highly skilled people and often like seek fun and action both in their work and personal life. They enjoy adventure and risk such as in driving race cars or working as policemen and firefighters.

Yeah, I guess so. Except that mechanic dude looks a bit dodgy.

And then there's this. Apparently I'm right-brained by a 10-8 score.

So Who D'Ya S'pose These Guys Are?

2008-11-01T00:33:00.003-04:00

I acquired this some time ago. It's pretty ancient. I normally don't get crazy about autographs, but this kinda sorta goes along with the last post. And the coolness factor...fuckin' A!

Music and Such

2008-10-30T23:23:00.008-04:00

So, what's up with the recent sitemeter hits coming from the mid Atlantic states? Y'all finding everything to your liking?

Anyhoo, Nations is all on about music and shit. I like music well enough. I used to be a band nerd. Well, not exactly a nerd. I was the sort of disturbingly creepy kid that noone dared mess with, so technically, not a nerd. I was in band nonetheless. And I played trumpet. There's a fact that most of you didn't know. And I was pretty damn good.

I always wanted to play guitar, though. They didn't offer that instrument when I was in band. Strictly your basic school band shit like clarinet and flute which were considered the "girl" instruments, and trumpet, sax, and trombone-the "boy" instruments. Did I mention that I went to a goofy parochial school, and apparently, instruments have gender? Retards.

So anyway, a couple years ago, or three, I went and bought a nice Fender. I'm currently teaching myself. Not that difficult, except I have kinda short fingers, so I don't exactly use any orthodox technique. Where the hell am I going with this anyway?

Oh yeah. Music I'm into.

Kinda weird tastes, I guess. I like AC/DC. I totally dig Thunderstruck, Hells Bells, Mistress For Christmas, Back In Black, Dirty Deeds...

Black metal. Like Immortal, Satyricon, Emperor, Amon Amarth, Behemoth, Cradle of Filth, Dimmu Borgir.

Misc. metal: Fear Factory, Lacuna Coil, Nine Inch Nails, Rammstein, Tiamat, Tool, Rob Zombie. Some Danzig. Old Metallica (pre-Black Album) before they turned into crybaby pussies who didn't want anyone sharing their music on the interwebby.

And when I get nostalgic: Motley Crue, Faith No More, Mr. Bungle, White Zombie. Recently I've been digging some Whitesnake, Great White, WASP, Maiden, and Dio. Go figure.

And classic shit like The Doors, Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, old Heart, Janis.

Also like Massive Attack, some Goldfrapp, Portishead, Concrete Blonde (one of the most underappreciated bands EVER), Cake, Depeche Mode, Echo and the Bunnymen, The Smiths, The Sisters of Mercy, The Cult, The Sugar Cubes (gotta love them "The" bands).

Yep. That's about all I can think of for now. Blame the adult beverages.

God Bless America

2008-10-05T19:11:00.003-04:00

Today I went and exercised my Second Amendment right. I drove on down to good ol' Wally World and purchased myself a beautiful Remington shotgun. I love the fact that I can buy a gun at Wally's. (And $100 below MSRP, too!) It just warms the cockles of my cold, cold heart.

Florida is an interesting little state, though. I have the right to purchase the gun today, but I have to wait until next Saturday to pick it up. And I can't buy ammo when I go to pick up the gun. I could, and did buy some today. If I want to buy ammo when I pick up the gun, I have to either buy it first and go put it in my car, or go put the gun in the car and then come back in and buy the ammo. That's just silly on so many levels. Actually, the State says I only have to wait 3 days, but since I live in Banana Republic Hell Hole Land waaaay doooown south, I get to wait an extra 2 days. Weee!!!

Another interesting/cool thing about the good ol' State of Florida is I don't need no stinking permits or licenses to buy a gun (unlike the People's Republik of Kallyfornia). If I want to carry a pistol on my person I am required to get a Concealed Carry Permit which is licensed by the Florida Department of Agriculture, whose Commissioner is Charles Bronson. Charles Bronson! I shit you not. Go look it up if you don't believe me.

And another amusing thing about Wally's: you can buy alcohol and tobacco along with your firearm. One stop shopping, that is!

Fruity!

2008-07-29T18:02:00.002-04:00

Wow! I can't believe it's been 10 days since my pathetic last post! Oh, well. I'm actually posting this from my deathbed. Ok, not really, I just feel like death, not my perky little Death Dealing self. I have the great grand daddy of all head colds. Cough, cough, hack, hack, drip, snort, repeat.

Anyhoo, in my absence I've been learning to speak Japanese. It's not really that difficult to learn...well, the speaking part of it, that is. The writing system is a pisser, though. Kanji, Katakana, and Hiragana. Three different deals comin' at'cha all at the same time. Xul likes a challenge. More about all that later.

Now then, much overdue... GARDEN BLOGGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here are some of my highly coveted Kent mangoes growing in lovely clusters like so many lovely clusters of grapes...that is, if you happen to have mammoth 5 pound grapes on your lovely clusters. These have a sort of citrus-y flavor, yellow flesh and not too sweet.

These are the Keitt variety of mango. They don't grow as gargantuan as the Kent but this season they were bigger than usual. These are intensely sweet and have an orange coloured flesh. Very juicy and delicious.

Here is a close up of one of the Keitts. This was one of the bigger ones; probably a 3 pounder.

These are some of my "pinas especiales." For some reason the soil (or lack thereof, sand really)here makes the pineapples have a bit of a coconut flavour. It's a delicious natural pina colada. These were soooo juicy. The best ever.

In my next post I'll have ORCHIDS!!!

Toodles!

Almost Back

2008-07-19T20:30:00.002-04:00

Just taking a little break from blogging and the internet...if ya consider a whole month a little break! I should be back to regular posting in a couple o' days. (Ya, I know. It's ME here. I don't exactly DO regular posting!)

Here We Go Again

2008-06-18T23:08:00.002-04:00

Alright now, this is getting to be totally ridiculous, especially when instead of blogging about important things like my garden I'm once again having to report yet another crime happening literally right in front of my own house.

Ridiculous. Abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous.

The cops are still out in front of my place even as I'm sitting here typing this.

So this time, oh about 9 pm-ish, I hear a loud noise outside and then my pit bull starts going totally apeshit. I didn't think anything of it, just figured it was the indigenous arseholes being arseholes. About a half hour later, I get up from watching the tv to take the garbage out, open my front door and what do we have here? Yes. Cop cars all over the place and officers walking around out by the street with their flashlights, apparently looking for something.

Well, one of the officers saw me and came up to ask if I had seen or heard anything. I told him what ya see up there on the previous paragraph. He says to me, "Well, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but since it happened right in front of your house... a lady was walking home from the bus stop around the corner when she was approached by two black males. They tried to grab her purse and she fought back. One of them shot her in the upper chest/shoulder area."

Lovely.

I called my neighbor across the street to find out if she saw anything. The whole incident is what she saw. It turns out it was a friend of the lady who lives a few houses down on the other side from me. She was visiting from Trinidad.

Such a nice way to remember your trip to Florida, eh?

Fun and Games Update

2008-06-15T23:56:00.002-04:00

So, I just found out what all the commotion was about outside El Castillo de Xul last week. Seems that the neighbor's hoodlum kid was involved in an armed robbery and car jacking. The genius came running back home to mommy with the cops in pursuit. A police dog mauled him up pretty good, hence the ambulance. Won't be seeing him no more. Buh-bye, ya little scum bag!

Easily Distracted, Changes Post Subject

2008-06-15T23:51:00.000-04:00

Ok, so before I get to the meat of this post, I'd just like to say that that show Mobile Home Disaster on CMT is totally awesome! I so don't know what it is about white trash folk that I find so amusing; the completely awesome lack of sophistication? The low rent eccentricities? The total lack of couth? Whatever it is, it makes for great television(see Country Fried Home Videos). Like tonight's episode. The trailer is not just a wreck... it's haunted, too!

Anywho.

I was going to get all conceited here and yack about my obvious hotness, but I prefer to gloat over my finagling super skills.

So. I've been watching quite a lot of Marlins' baseball recently since they haven't been totally sucking and have decided that I need to get out to the ballpark to see some games live. I only live like five minutes from there, anyway. So I was mentioning this to a girl at work, K, who just so happens to have a friend who works for this millionaire dude who just so happens to have box seats for the Marlins.

So K is like, "Oh! I haven't been to a game since last season! Ya know, S's boss has box seats!" (erm, I sooo know!) "I gotta see if S can ask her boss if we can use his seats since he's going to Vegas for the next three weeks!"

Sweet.

It's All Fun And Games Until...

2008-06-08T23:43:00.000-04:00

Ok, ok, ok. Fuck it, I'm just going to go ahead and write something since I've been very slack indeed this past month.

It seems that down here we've been having shoot outs and what-not on an almost weekly basis. It kind of goes with the territory since S. Fla has become one enormous ghetto. It gets to be rather mundane until you start getting caught up in it.

Like I said, it's all fun and games until... someone shoots a cop...then everyone becomes a hostage for 4 hours! Wheeeee!!!!! Doesn't that sound fun now?

Anyway, about three Sundays ago, I was at a birthday party over in N.Miami, not terribly far from my house. Ho-hum, yawny-yawny type thing. At one point, one of the other guests says to me that there are cops all over the place directly outside the kitchen. Since the guest of honour hadn't arrived yet and the party was a bit boring, a bunch of us went out to investigate.

There was one cop car blocking anyone from going down 170th and there were 2 K-9 units with officers going around all the houses with the dogs.(This is a residential area, mixed with orthodox Jews, Hispanics, Haitians)

We figured they were looking for robbers since everyday down here someone is robbing something. So we're watching the police activity when suddenly, "BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG,BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!!!!!!!!!" There had to have been at least 30 shots fired.

A freakin' shootout, right there! Right in front of us! The cops must have emptied there clips into the guy. Then we see 4 cops carrying another officer who apparently got shot. They carried him to the end of the street and laid him down behind a police car.

Well, then it just turned into a freaking clusterfuck after that. The cops blocked off the whole area. My car was 3 feet within the taped off perimeter so I couldn't go anywhere or even go to the vehicle. They had 2 SWAT armoured trucks there and like every cop in N. Miami out there. There must've been 20 fully armoured SWAT guys with M-16's. They thought there was a third guy on the loose.

It was ridiculous. I heard from and old Jewish guy that it was 2 "schwartzers" trying to break into a house.

Anyway, we were stuck for 2 hours after SWAT got there. 4 hours in total. It really sucked because you weren't allowed to leave. The news reported it as "A Neighborhood Held Hostage" and that's exactly what it was.

When we finally were allowed to leave and I got home to see the news, the story was 2 black teenagers, one 17, one 18, tried to break into a bunch of houses armed with a crowbar and a 9mm. One of the neighbors called the cops. The K-9 units found them hiding in someone's back yard. That's when the 18 y/o decided that it would be a brilliant idea to open fire on the cops. The cops turned him into bloody swiss cheese. One officer was shot 3 times and the dog was hit once.

Now, what really pissed me off was when the head of the police union got on the tv and was crying about how the PD is short staffed and out gunned and this incident just proves it. THE FUCK? There were like 300 cops out there, standing around yacking it up for well over 3 hours after the shooting happened. The SWAT guys were more heavily armed than Navy SEALS. There were freakin' helicopters flying around and everything. It was like Beirut. Yes. Pay them more money to stand around after all the action is over.

Never a dull moment in the M.I.A.! Fuck no!

And if that wasn't enough, last week I had an almost repeat performance in front of my own house; cops parked in my front drive, more down the block, and some around the corner. Ambulances. Fire trucks. Fucking helicopters buzzing around...at least there wasn't any shooting. What was going down? Who the fuck knows! Status fucking quo.

Birthday

2008-05-07T19:58:00.002-04:00

Today is my birthday.

We Taurus' rule.

I will be going out to celebrate with the Hawt Brazilian.

I have been told in no uncertain terms that this is what I will be doing.

It may be a while before I return...

...maybe with details!

You Go Girl!

2008-04-21T22:45:00.003-04:00

This one is for my blog friend Slutty who is running the Boston Marathon today. You go, girl!!! I hope you finish ahead of that Armstrong bloke, but that's probably wishful thinking on my part! Best of luck!!!

By Request

2008-04-07T15:06:00.007-04:00

Now then, for the doubters amongst us(you know who you are), more pictures from my yard.

This is the front entry. Very tropical, no? Palmetto in foreground, lilies, ground orchids, and bromeliads in the middle, and bamboo bringing up the rear.

This is a wide shot of the "Bromeliad Display." Also known as "How to dress up the a/c unit."

Now...for the sceptics. Here is some of the very determined multi-coloured lantana. It's starting to come back nicely after all the recent rainfall.

And here we have the fabled lavender lantana, comingled with some other shrubbery.

And finally, a close-up of the fabled lavender lantana, nestled in with a Moses-in-a Boat.

Spring Has Sprung

2008-04-06T22:12:00.007-04:00

Well, not really. Since I live down in Florida, we don't have seasons like everyone else has; just wet season and dry season. We're just starting to get into the wet season now, and as it just so happens, at this precise moment, it's raining at monsoon proportions, coming down in nice, jaunty, sideways sheets. The news is reporting 35-40 mph wind gusts. Oh, yawny-yawny.

But anyhoo, I'm gonna post some lovely pictures from my garden, sans the beautiful lantana because I didn't take a picture of that yet (sorry FN, I'm such a tease).

This is one of my many bromeliads from the illustrious "Bromeliad Display." I'm not sure of the botanical name, since most of these are given to me by people who "just found it growing in the yard and thought you'd like it."

This is another of the unknown bromeliads. It has weird little white and red berry-looking thingies for blooms. As you can see, my bromeliads are quite happy growing on the ground even though they are supposed to be epiphytic (that's gardener talk for "grows up in a tree or something").

Here's a butterfly; one of the may varieties I get. (Blue plumbago in the background.)

And last but surely not least, my "pet" argiope spider, chawing down on some unfortunate insect. I love the way they wrap them up in a neat little package, suck their blood, and then chuck the lot over the side.

Well, that's all for now. Maybe I'll get some "wildlife" pics for the next post.

Have A Kinky Easter

2008-03-22T20:14:00.003-04:00

And if it's a kinky Easter, it will surely be a happy one as well. Maybe I can show the Hawt Brazilian all the creative things one can do with peeps and chocolate eggs. Mmmmmm.

This fellow doesn't appear to be having a very good day. Prolly run doon by a bearded dude in a white SUV. That's what you get for trying to steal the J Man's thunder!

Blogger Ate My Dingo

2008-03-13T23:51:00.002-04:00

Well...actually, no. Blogger ate my post and not my dingo. I don't actually have a dingo, but I'm in a silly mood and that "a dingo ate my baby" thing suddenly came to mind, and well, I digress. What the hell was it that I was actually going to write about? Oh, yes. Random thoughts.

If you live in the fucking arctic, and you send me a picture of something buried under a snowdrift, I most certainly do not think that it is "amazing." That's like saying, "Ooh! Look at that water! It's wet!" And I'm all like, "Amazing!" No, it is not amazing. It's fucking normal, banal shite.

I am thoroughly unimpressed with arseholes who go out killing animals for the "sport" of it. It is not sporting to kill an animal from a hundred yards away with a high powered rifle. It doesn't make your penis any larger. If you have a small penis, get a magnifying glass. If you really want to impress me with what a big stud you are, kill that water buffalo with your bare hands. Moron.

The masses really are asses.

Drivers in Florida really are the worst in the country.

Never compare yourself with others. Everyone is unique. Some are unique arseholes.

No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

Some people simply aren't worth all the drama and grief that they put you through. When you finally get the hell over them you realize that it was just as much you as them but in different ways and the two of you together was just the perfect storm of drama. Live and learn and don't EVER get into any head trips like that again.

People who are chronically unhappy need to get the hell over themselves. Life is too short to always focus on the negative.

If you are a "cyclist," I don't think it really makes that much of a difference if you shave your legs. You're not really going that fast, now, are you? People who call themselves "cyclist" are such smug fekkers.

That is all for now.

Happy Blogversary To Me

2008-03-11T00:20:00.000-04:00

Looks like I'm singing solo here. Anyhoo, here's to two years of my inconsistent posting habits and general futzing around. Who knows for how long I can keep this going at this pace!

Fuck Right Off

2008-03-08T18:40:00.006-05:00

I really am shite at this blogging business. I'm not a natural writer to begin with. I've never journaled or even particularly cared for writing for that matter. I initially started this blog to get revenge but decided that that wasn't the greatest idea after all but decided to keep the blog because it would be a good outlet for venting...and that's how most people use a blog anyway.

So, on to a little venting.

I'm fairly sure I only told about three people who I know in real life about my blog and I don't think any of them read it, so the ones I'm going to bitch about most likely won't be reading this. And if they do, I don't think I give a flying fuck at this point. Plus, I make everything I write about vague enough as it is.

One thing about me is that I'm loyal almost to a fault. If I become close friends with anyone, I'm a friend for life, unless of course, you fuck me over or are a completely self absorbed, one way street who couldn't give five minutes of attention to anyone except your own pompous, arrogant self.

I have know these two people for 15 and 13 years, respectively. The first since high school and the second since university. What really pisses me off is that I have known how self absorbed they both are for almost as long as I've known them but I've always been the one to go the extra mile to stay in touch or whatever, so that is my problem. Like I said, loyal to a fault. But now I'm quite tired of it.

I'd almost thrown in the towel, but last year they sent me a Facebook invite and I grudgingly accepted. I was so pissed off that I nearly didn't accept; I hadn't heard anything from them in almost a year and a half up until then despite my having emailed on numerous occasions. I mean, come on! Who the fuck doesn't have time to respond to an email! I really had given up, then, the stupid invite and I got sucked back into it.

I really have had it, though. These are people who are notorious for never following through on anything that they say. If they say that they are going invite you to something, don't hold your breath. The invite will never come. If they say they are going to call you back? Forget it. Don't wait by the phone; that call will never come. One time I made an international long distance call to them and they told me that they couldn't talk because they had friends over. What the fuck?! You see those friends every week but you don't have time for me when I'm paying for the fucking call? Oh, hell no.

I'm done with it. The very last straw was recently when I sent an email and got a very smug, condescending reply. One thing I really can't stand is smugness. So the both of you can fuck the hell off.

Cock Flavored Soup

2008-02-20T22:46:00.002-05:00

I just can't make this kind of thing up, although some people think I make things up all the time(You know who you are. Yes, I'm looking at YOU Mrs. Scottish W!).

So tonight I had to go to Wally World with a Certain Somebody and as usual it was taking much longer than I would like. For some reason I found myself wandering down the ethnic aisle. I can't remember what the hell I was looking for when I happened to look up- and lo, and behold- there it was! COCK FLAVORED SOUP. Hence, the following exchange:

CS "Is someone calling you?" (as I'm scrambling to get out my cell phone to take a picture)

Xul "No."

CS "Why are you smirking? What's so funny?"

Xul "Look!" (Pointing, which was all I could manage since I was cracking the hell up.)

CS "Oh, for Christ's sake. I can't believe you're actually taking a picture of it." (Says CS with that disapproving tone.)

Well, I don't care. I think it's funny. And yes, I know I have the sense of humour of a 13 year old sometimes.

Bike Or Die!

2008-02-14T21:57:00.008-05:00

Gah! I'm going so freakin' stir crazy that I can't take it any longer! Between all the work and the shit weather we've been having (Hello? Winter? Do we have to send out the search party?), if I don't get out into some fresh air and sunshine soon, I just might snap!

Some people may have buggered off to New York, and others to Naples, but I will be going bike riding on Tuesday and that is written in stone. I don't give a tinkers dam what else might be happening on that day, I'M GOING BIKING. Where the only slowpokes I'll be sharing the road with will be actual turtles.

Zednik Injury

2008-02-13T00:12:00.003-05:00

I can't believe this has happened for a second time in Buffalo. Sunday night, in a game between the Florida Panthers and the Buffalo Sabres, Richard Zednik's carotid artery was severed by teammate Olli Jokinen's skate during a collision. It was absolutely horrendous.

Ironically, I had mentioned in the comments of my Hockey Pictures post the first time something like this had happened- to Clint Malarchuk- the Sabres goalie- back in 1989.

It has been reported that Zednik lost a half gallon of blood from his injury, but thankfully, due to the immediate medical attention that he received, will make a full recovery. Amazing, since the artery was severed 3/4 of the way through.

Here is the live footage of the accident:

In an interview with Clint Malarchuk, the former Sabres' goalie said, "Funny, but I've seen my accident, oh, maybe 100 times. You go to YouTube, punch in my name and you get three different angles of it. Pretty graphic stuff. I've seen it so many times I've almost become detached from it.

"But this ... ? I couldn't bring myself to look."

On March 22, 1989, during a game between the Buffalo Sabres and the St. Louis Blues, Steve Tuttle's skate severed the former Sabres goalie's jugular vein. Blood poured from Malarchuk as a trainer pressed a towel against his neck. Malarchuk needed 300 stitches to close the gash.

At the time, there were reports that 11 fans fainted and two more had heart attacks when Malarchuk's macabre accident took place. Three players vomited on the ice.

It really was horrific. Far worse than Zednik's injury, in my opinion. Take a look for yourself.

Follow Up A Rant With A Rant: Sharkwater

2008-02-10T23:28:00.000-05:00

And while I have my dander up, I just thought that I'd mention a little documentary that I saw a few weeks ago. I decided to go out for a bit of diversion to the IGFA Fishing Hall of Fame and Museum, not because I'm big into fishing or anything, but because it's a place I had never been to before (and because I had a coupon...yah, I'm a cheap fucker!).

The museum was showing a documentary called Sharkwater, a real eyeopener. The link for it is here. Please go check it out for yourself. It is about the plight of the world's many species of sharks and their possible extinctions due to ignorance, greed and poaching.

It really pissed me off and I'm still pissed off. Here's the trailer. Watch it and be pissed off, too.

Now that we're all pissed off, let's spread the word and do something about it.

Bad Blogger!

2008-02-10T23:04:00.000-05:00

Yah, I know, I'm a bad, bad blogger. I haven't posted in nearly a month, boo-hoo-hoo! Well, I just got myself into one of those funks that I'm so prone to getting into. I had nearly two weeks off from work and I just couldn't seem to get my arse out of it's own way.

Part of the reason stemmed from all this elections bollocks. What a bunch of arseholes we have to choose from! I guess anyone with quality or substance need not apply when it comes to American politics (or any politics for that matter). People in this country are utter imbeciles when it comes to the issues. They couldn't be bothered with thinking in general let alone critical thinking. Gawd, pull your heads out of your arses!!! Grow the fuck up! I'm living in a nation of junior-highers! Does anyone mature beyond adolescence? Can we get beyond the popularity contests and whomever is the "coolest" and grow the hell up and use some fucking discernment? Does anyone even know what the fuck that means?

If you are voting for a candidate based on race or gender or party affiliation, you are thoroughly missing the point. Everyone seems to like this "change" buzzword, but can anyone tell me what exactly is it that we are going to change or how are we going to go about changing it?

Fuck me. It galls me to the core to concede that Americans in general are a bunch of clueless, narrow minded fuckwits. It's very draining living in such an environment.

Fuck it all to hell.

The Alcoholic Challenge

2008-01-13T00:08:00.000-05:00

'Tis a pity I'd didn't get a perfect score! ::sigh::

98%ALCOHOLIC

Find your Match at JustSayHi

A Resurrection Of Sorts

2008-01-10T21:38:00.000-05:00

I've found inspiration from my favorite Tartaned Tart.

When I was a child, I was an avid little artist. I loved to draw. I drew on things ever since I was old enough to hold a pencil. And I was very creative with other things as well. I made slippers out of melaleuca bark when I was about six years of age so I wouldn't burn my feet on the hot sidewalk (I still remember the neighbor lady remarking at how creative I was). I loved making tree forts and little huts out of branches and palm fronds that I would find. I always wanted to be an artist.

My mother, on the other hand, did not want me to be an artist. I remember one time when I told her that I wanted to be an artist, her telling me that, "Artists starve." No, instead of having me do what I loved, what I was passionate for, she would rather have me do something practical, something where I would make lots of money... like being a doctor or lawyer. She'll never know how that statement wounded me to the core. Oh, she was very proud of my artistic abilities; it was something that she could brag about. But I don't think she saw it as a valuable skill. (Gawd, I'm getting choked up just writing that!)

Despite all that, I drew and enjoyed it all through elementary and high school. I received all sorts of accolades from the teachers as well as the students. I won several blue ribbons from drawings that I had entered in the county fair as well as little awards from the school.

But soon after I left high school it was all over. With my mother's words still echoing in my head I resolved never to draw again. Why should I continue doing something that was just a "novelty"?

Well, fuck all that! It was a mistake on my part to stop creating. So last night, I decided to see if I still had "the touch". I didn't have to make some masterpiece, just try drawing your guitar for Christ's sake! So I scratched it out. A simple drawing of a Fender Stratocaster-shaped guitar. Good enough. I still have it. (Of course, I DID try drawing again at the urging of "Head Fuck", but I was too creatively blocked as well as depressed to do it then.) Hell, I never stopped being an artist, it's one of those intrinsic qualities. Suppressing my creativity is not something I'll be doing again. While I doubt that I'll try to pursue art as a profession (I draw for enjoyment and self expression, it becomes a chore if it's something I have to do) I'm at least going to "do my thing" for my own gratification.

So here's a little sample of what I'm capable of.

This is a picture of Bruin's goaltender Andy Moog that I did when I was in high school. Combining two of my passions?

And this is Mike Patton, formerly from the band Faith No More. I always wanted to be in a band, too, but I was utter shite at playing instruments or singing. (Hell, that didn't seem to stop a lot of people, did it?)

BTW, the pix look MUCH better in person.

One last thought: People who are too weak or fearful to follow their own dreams will always find a way to discourage yours.

For The Love of Tea

2008-01-06T23:02:00.000-05:00

I love tea. No really. I'm not just fond of having a spot of tea now and then, I fucking LOVE tea. I probably drink a half gallon of the stuff daily. It may have something to do with the fact that I'm part English, part Irish or the fact that some folks in my family way-back-when were Dutch merchants who actually brought back ships full of the stuff from the East Indies. Whatever the cause, it doesn't change the fact. I was brought up drinking tea and I'll continue doing so until I cark it.

I'll drink almost any kind of tea. Almost. Tea in a can, however... that is just so wrong on so many levels. The first time I ever had the misfortune of tasting, not drinking, for it's such utter shite that I couldn't actually drink it, was when I was a child and was tricked into going out on a boat (something else I now have an aversion to) with some relatives.

We were out just off of Ft. Lauderdale. It was hot like hell and I was bored to tears. Bad combination for me since when you are bored and in a boat all you can concentrate on is the rocking. And rocking. And more nauseating rocking. I must've been a nice shade of green when someone finally asked me if I was alright and would I like something to drink. Well, what was offered was that shite. Sweetened, with lemon. Tastes nothing like tea... I don't know where they get off calling it such. Horrible, vile, revolting, swill. It only made me sicker. What a horrible experience! It forever cured me from going on boats or drinking "tea" from cans.

I just don't understand how anyone can drink "tea" from a bottle or can. It's so disgusting and chemically tasting! What's wrong with brewing your own? Are people really that lazy? You'd rather poison yourselves with chemicals than spend a few minutes to make something delicious and healthy? Gah, go learn something!

What A Difference 8 Months Can Make

2008-01-04T20:18:00.000-05:00

Yah, this is a lazy, fluff post, but sometimes these things are pretty accurate. (Hey, at least it's not another hockey post!)

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Hockey Pictures

2007-12-27T20:49:00.002-05:00

I finally got around to transferring the pictures that I took at hockey from my camera to my computer. So, I'm a slack fucker. Ya wanna make something of it?

This one is for Scottish W. Here's Jarome Iginla comin' right at cha! Scottish W gave me all kinds of shit the year the Bolts played the Flames for the Cup. I told him that the Bolts would win it in seven but he just wouldn't have any of it. And what happened? Yep. The Bolts won it in seven.

Pretty good seats, eh? Center ice, first row, balcony. That's what happens when you have the audacity to ask for specific seats even if you're getting in with a freebie voucher.

We went to a fight and a hockey game broke out! Sad to say, this was the most exciting thing to happen all game long. Tanner Glass vs Mark Smith. Most Panthers' games, including this one, are about as exciting as watching paint dry. Too much dump and chase, no fore checking, no back checking, shitty passing, and general lazy playing.

Chicken Man has seen enough. Why the fuck is this guy dressed as a chicken anyway? He should go hang out with Super Panther Man* up in the rafters.

*Super Panther Man is the name that Mrs. PA and I gave to this loser who comes dressed in tights and a cape to the games. TIGHTS! And a fucking CAPE! And the guy is a grown man(who never gets laid, I'd say).

Tis the Season...

2007-12-23T17:16:00.001-05:00

...for pissing me off!!!! I fucking DETEST that song "Little St. Nick" by the Beach Boys. It's bad enough that they have to play it ten times a day on the radio, but now they have it on some stupid commercial for Coca Cola on TV. That's done it. I'm soooo over Christmas and all the bullshit that goes along with it- the crass commercialism and all the phony, happy-happy, nicey-nicey, nauseating shite! I bet no one can tell that Christmas is not my favorite holiday!

Christmas has been canceled, muthah-fuckah!!!

Of course, I haven't always hated Christmas. When I was a child I LOVED it! The anticipation would build up from just after Halloween until you almost couldn't stand it anymore. And then, finally, the day would arrive! Oh the joy in ripping the wrappings off of all those gifts!

Christmas is for children. They can enjoy it because they are unburdened by the reality of the real world.

Now then, back to the issue of all the annoying Christmas music that is played ad nauseum. I can't stand all the syrupy sweet crap. Totally not my style. So, presented for your perusal, is Xul's Top 10 Christmas Playlist.

In at #10 we have an old skool klassic: "Christmas in Hollis" by Run DMC
#9 "Sled Zeppelin" by Bob Rivers
#8 "Christmas Tree on Fire" by Holly Golightly
#7 "A Mad Russian's Christmas" by Trans Siberian Orchestra
#6 "Christmas Eve/Sarajevo" by Trans Siberian Orchestra
#5 "Hang Myself from the Tree" by The Vandals
#4 "Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies" by The Vandals
#3 "Oh Holy Night" as sung by Eric Cartman
#2 "Father Christmas" by The Kinks (the line "Father Christmas, give us some money..." just about sums it all up!)
And the #1 Christmas song according to Xul is... "Mistress for Christmas" by AC/DC (Not that I need or want a mistress for Christmas, I just appreciate the sentiment.)

Now then, isn't that much better! I'm not a total Grinch, am I? The stuff by The Vandals totally rocks! It's from the album Christmas with the Vandals: Oi to the World. It's worth buying. Anyhoo, I'm off to watch some football and knock a few back. So for what it's worth, have a really great Christmas you pack of cunts!!!

A Christmas Party, A Big Swedish Store, and Hockey

2007-12-12T21:49:00.000-05:00

I've actually had quite the week so far, and it's only just Wednesday! Monday had the annual company Christmas party. One of the good things about where I work is they give us two parties per year (and not much else) so I make it a point to go to the Christmas party. It's usually at a nice restaurant in the Ft. L vicinity. This time it was at a fairly well known restaurant that is named after a tropical fruit on the "fancy schmancy" street downtown.

Well, let's just say I wasn't very impressed. I don't know who the arsehole is who picks the place where we go each year, but it just gets successively worse. (Last years was at some skanky little "dance on the tables" kitschy novelty joint.) First off, there's no parking downtown and if you're lucky enough to find a spot in one of the private lots it'll cost you a pretty penny. So having to pay for parking got me set off even before I stepped foot into the place.

Secondly, I was led to believe that the menu would be Latin food. It was not. I could have gotten better food at the local Denny's. It was the typical overrated and overpriced sort of thing you'd expect downtown (at least the company was footing the bill). The restaurant didn't seem to be prepared for all of us. The dining room we were in was too small to accommodate everyone. There weren't enough tables to sit at so half the people had to sit at the bar to eat their meals. And the service was horrendous. Everything just seemed to be very disorganized.

Then there was the little matter of my Swedish coworker who talked me into ordering that shite Presidente beer. "Oh! I love the stuff," he says. "You ought to try it! It's really good." Yeah, really good for a seething, cheap beer headache. Utter shite! Horrid, weak Dominican piss. Consider yourselves warned.

Now... onto Tuesday's events!

So, Mrs. PA and I had planned on going to hockey on Tuesday, which we did, but not before stopping at the new I-K-E-A!!! I've never been to one before and since I like those sorts of modern looking furnishings, I was fairly excited. It was a nice enough store but I can't for the life of me figure out why people get so fucking hysterical when they open up a new one. They had a couple chairs and a sofa that I liked, but for the most part it's just all cheaply made stuff from China. The best part of the place was the cafeteria and the other food place down stairs. Cheap, tasty food makes me happy. See, this post isn't all complaints!

Then onto the hockey game!!!

Since I totally rule, I scored us a couple vouchers for tickets, so we ended up paying $9 for regularly $62 seats. We played a little bit of shooting the puck before the game and then went in to watch the pre-game skate where I got many good pictures of both teams. The game itself was really boring. I don't know what it is with S. Fla. teams- all of them are terrible. At least during one of the intermissions I was lucky enough to finally catch one of the coupons that they drop from the big blimp while avoiding falling over the balcony. Free food at one of the local eateries! Sure, it doesn't beat the last time when I won the $162 second row seats, but at least it's something!

Well, the home team ended up losing because they couldn't hold on for the 10 seconds left in the game, but at least we had a fun evening out.

Hope this post hasn't been too boring!

Seems they grow on trees now

2007-12-05T00:50:00.000-05:00

I just couldn't resist posting this picture. I have no idea who the woman is but she looks pleased with her discovery.

It's Nothing Personal

2007-12-04T21:41:00.000-05:00

When I was growing up I'm sure we had ginger haired kids in school but I can't recall them being teased any more than anyone else. The one kid I DO remember being brutally teased was the girl who picked her nose and ate the boogers. That's fucking gross! You do stuff like that and you're pretty much bringing it upon yourself. But anyway, I'm getting myself side tracked. I'm not discussing booger eaters right now, I'm discussing gingers.

I am not attracted to ginger haired people. It's nothing personal, I just don't find it appealing. Strawberry blonde on women isn't so bad, neither is a darker shade of red. I just can't take that bright, orangey colour coupled with pale, freckled skin. It turns me right off. And get them sun burned? Oy! Cooked lobster red followed by the freckles turning a greenish hue. Blech.

My worst ginger story, the one that is permanently seared into my mind's eye, is...

My best friend from high school married a ginger haired guy. He's of Scottish descent. He's a lovely, articulate, well educated and well mannered guy and has a wicked sense of humour. I like him very much even if I do find him to be physically repulsive. For not only is he ginger haired but he is also terribly out of shape, complete with man breasts.

So this one particular day, I went over to their house for a visit. My friend opens the door and lets me in. Then, hubby comes waltzing out of the bedroom in all his shirtless glory! Oh. My. God. The most horrible image. All pasty-white flab with sparse, orangey-ginger chest hairs. I had such a visceral reaction that I had to immediately avert my eyes. I don't know if he picked up on how repulsed I was or not, but he did go and put on a shirt. Gawd, I couldn't help but imagine how he must look completely naked with ginger pubes, or the two of them having sex. It put me right off.

Like I said before, nothing personal, I just don't find that sort of thing attractive.

Shamrockin'!

2007-11-26T20:09:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I actually titled this post "Shamrockin'". LOL, oh well, that's what happens after a few ales. Even though I have some really great subjects for posts running around my head, they are eluding me at the moment. (booze enhanced slack) So, since I'm in my Celtic element, here's something for all my Celtic peeps out there!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2007-11-21T21:31:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! (All five people who read this blog) Anyway, today is the day where we should take some time out from being self centered ingrates and think about the many things that we have to be thankful for.

Like not being what's for dinner!

Or having to eat Bar-B-Q Camel. (Insert dry hump joke)

Well, I'm off to go eat some delicious ham and veg because I don't particularly like turkey. So whether you are having turkey, ham, tofurkey, goose, or veg, I hope you are enjoying it with good friends or family. Cheers, all!

Weird Dream

2007-11-19T21:54:00.000-05:00

Last night I had the weirdest, most vivid dream-one that was so real that I actually woke up with my heart racing.

I dreamt that I was traveling on a road with two people-a man and a woman (the man was driving) in the back seat of a big crew cab truck. I was sitting behind the woman on the passenger side. As we were driving along, there was a marina with fishing boats along to the left. On one of the boats, someone had caught a 350 pound shark. I can't imagine how I knew that the shark was 350 pounds. Maybe it had something to do with a story on the news a couple nights ago about some guy who had caught a 350 pound grouper.

ANYWAY, after we passed where the marina was, to the right of the road was a big lake with dolphins swimming and jumping out of the water. I think there were four dolphins. After that we came to a stop light. We were sitting in the inside turn lane (it was one of those double turn lanes) waiting to make a left when some strange homeless-looking dude walks up to the front of the truck and throws a cup full of gasoline down on the street. I can't remember if it was me or one of the other passengers who said, "What an asshole! That could start a fire and someone could get hurt."

Well, next thing ya know, some other guy walks up with an evil grin on his face and throws a match down on the gasoline and WOOSH! Up it goes! In the dream, as I saw that guy coming up I was anticipating what he was going to do and I already had my hand on the door latch ready to jump out of the truck. Well, like I said, up it went, right under the truck. I could actually feel the heat in my dream. As I was trying to get the door open, don't ya know, the door was stuck so I started to kick it with all my might and just then I could feel the gas tank of the truck start to explode right under me and that's when I woke up- my heart racing a thousand beats a minute.

So, does anyone have any ideas on just what the hell all that could mean?

If It's Not Scottish, It's Crap

2007-11-11T21:30:00.000-05:00

I should have written this post a few weeks ago, but since I'm a slack, wee shite, you'll just have do deal with it. Like Old K would say, the Scottish are the sexiest of men, except, of course, my friend's husband, who is a ginger-haired, pasty, blob of a man. Blech, blech, blech!!!

Now, onto the subject at hand. A few weeks ago, I got to go to a Scottish Night event, which means men in kilts...Yum, yum, yummety-yum! I love men in kilts and I wish I could convince the Boy Toy to wear one, but alas, that is a post for another time.

I just don't know why men would willfully confine their "goods" when they could set them free by wearing the kilt. Doesn't make any sense. It seems to me more natural for women to wear pants and men to wear kilts and such, as anatomy would dictate. I've even thought this way as a wee lass. Just goes to show that the Scotsmen are as sensible as they are sexy.

And the best part about wearing the kilt is there is always a chance of a good gust of wind coming along and, well...

Updating the Linky-poos

2007-11-11T20:41:00.000-05:00

I have a couple new additions to the links list. Firstly, one Ms. Serizy, who is a most excellent writer. I've thoroughly enjoyed as well as gotten a lot out of her blog. Definitely worth a look. Secondly, First Nations. Finally there is something from the Pac NW that I don't dislike.

More linkage will be forthcoming, not that anyone really cares.

Sosiopaths and Guns: Bad Combination

2007-11-11T17:20:00.000-05:00

While making the blog rounds today, I read an interesting post over at First Nations' place. I agree wholeheartedly with what she wrote. I have no problem with responsible gun ownership. But how is "responsible" determined? This statement is what brought my question to mind:

"...an average, socially-adjusted sane person isn't going to go around bragging about how they killed someone; taking a life is horrifying and sickening, even if it is a 'them or me and mine' situation."

I have had the misfortune of knowing a couple folks who, by all accounts, would seem to be "average, socially-adjusted" sane people. Folks who had grown up around guns, who knew how to handle them properly, even had military training. But these are demented folks who should NEVER be allowed the privilege of gun ownership. That's what is scary. The fact that someone could pass background checks because they have never been on the wrong side of the law, yet is mentally and emotionally unfit to responsibly own a gun.

Luckily, I no longer have any contact with these people, but a while back a mutual acquaintance told me about a conversation she had had with one of the individuals in question. One of the statements this person had made literally gave me a cold chill. They had stated with glee that they wanted to get a gun with the specific purpose in mind of using it on someone who would dare break into their house since in this state they would not be prosecuted for it.

Now while I have no problem with someone defending themselves, I DO have a problem with someone relishing the idea of shooting someone. That's fucking sick. While I have no sympathy for a criminal being shot while perpetrating a crime, and dare I say that they would be getting what they deserved, enjoying shooting someone, in my opinion, puts you on the same level as the criminal.

Just In Time For Halloween

2007-10-27T18:23:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, when I stepped out my door going to work, I was greeted with a lovely, big spider web in the face. Now, I don't usually mind spiders, I actually like them very much, except when they weave their webs at face height in my front walkway. Luckily, I felt the web before I walked completely through it.

"That does it, Miss Spider," I said, knocking the web down with a circular motion of my hand and placing the web, spider and all into some nearby bushes. "I think this will be a better place for you to build your web." Miss Spider wasn't very impressed and tried to crawl up my arm in the process. "Sorry, dude, you're staying here."

So today when I came home from work, I noticed that Miss Spider has a friend. It's a lovely, big Golden Silk spider. My favorite native species. Here's a pic.

I think the little beasties know what time of year it is. Who needs fake, plastic spiders when you have the real deal!

Must've Been A Savant

2007-10-27T18:20:00.000-04:00

The stupidity of the people who live in S.FL never ceases to amaze me. The worst part is that these same dumb mofos are given the privilege of driving because the driver's test has been so incredibly dumbed down. We can't have anyone crying "discrimination" because the test is "too hard". For fuck's sake! The written test is with multiple choice answers and the "road test" is done in the DMV parking lot! It is absolutely ridiculous.

What REALLY drives me up a fucking wall (puns if ya want 'em) is the morons talking on the cell phone while driving*. The two dead giveaways are:

Leaning ALL THE WAY over to the center (apparently, to hear better), and
Going noticeably slower than the rest of traffic.

A few weeks ago, I was coming home from somewhere, when I got stuck behind some slow-moving arsehole in a pick-up truck. Mind, there were passengers in the bed of the truck, which is ILLEGAL here, by the way. When I finally got a chance to get around the arsehole and take a look at what was driving, I could hardly believe what I was looking at. This guy had one phone in his left hand up to his left ear and texting with another phone in his right hand and trying to steer with the right hand at the same time.

Un-fucking-believable. Just when you think you've seen everything, you are always proven horribly, horribly wrong.

*Not in the true sense of the word. The effect is more like that of putting wild monkeys in a vehicle and letting 'em rip.

Naked Pictures

2007-10-08T21:41:00.000-04:00

My friend Mrs. PA is nuts. Last week she says to me, "You'll never believe what Mr. PA has gotten me into. He went and signed us up for that naked photo shoot down on South Beach. We probably won't get picked, though." "Oh, I think you'll TOTALLY be picked. In fact, I KNOW it."

Well, a couple days later she comes up to me all excited, "You'll NEVER BELIEVE IT!!!" "What, you got picked for that naked picture?" "YES!!!!!!" I must be a fucking psychic.

So today was the big day. About 600 people were down at the Sagamore to pose nekkid for that Spencer Tunick dude. It was all over the news- a real media circus. I don't know, it's kinda cool but I think I'm way too modest for that sort of thing even though I'm totally hot if I do say so myself. And it wasn't just young, hot folks; there were plenty of old wrinklies, too. (Mr. and Mrs. PA being in the latter category.)

All the participants are supposed to receive a print of the photo. I told Mrs. PA that she should hang hers in the guest room. It could be like one of those Where's Waldo pictures.

And Now For Something I Like

2007-09-24T23:53:00.000-04:00

Halloween, my most favorite holiday of all holidays, is just around the corner. It seems that one of the more popular costumes this season is a Spartan like in that movie The 300. Well, I'm not too keen on trends, but when I was browsing something completely unrelated, I came across this:

And this:

I think they would look dead sexy. Now, I haven't worn a skirt since I was in parochial school*, the experience having put me right off them, but that sort of thing would definitely make me reconsider. These would also make pretty good work attire... with the right accessories like a battle axe or flail, no one would dare give you any shit. Collate THIS mother fucker!!!

*No, the uniforms we had to wear back then were NOT sexy like some playgirl fantasy, they were gawd-awful ugly, plaid, and past the knee length.

Forgot to mention that the leather gear can be found here.

What's Good For The Goose...

2007-09-24T23:46:00.001-04:00

For all the sanctimonious fuckholes at PETA...

And go and neuter yourselves while your at it. I'm quite sick of all your naked ads.

Our Lady of Westchester

2007-09-21T21:08:00.002-04:00

Religious folk are a silly lot, especially the Catholics. Seems today, down in Westchester, the Virgin Mary made an appearance along with Joseph and the baby Jesus. Yah, it was all over the news today.

All the fanatics were out in the 90 degree heat to get a glimpse at what appeared to me to be the reflection from a votive candle cast onto a piece of cloth. It's not the Virgin Mary, it's a fucking shadow. Some people don't have any fucking sense at all. I wonder what the twits are going to do when the candle burns out?

Throw It In Reverse

2007-09-10T21:39:00.000-04:00

I want to live my next life in reverse.

You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better each day.

You then get kicked out for being too healthy. Collect your pension and enjoy your retirement.

When you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work for 40 years until you are too young.

You get ready for high school: drink, party, and act like a little shit.

Next you go to primary school. You become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.

Then you become a baby...
You spend your last nine months floating in luxurious, spa-like conditions: central heating, room service on tap, and then...

You finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.

Home Improvement

2007-09-06T21:32:00.000-04:00

When thinking about home improvement, don't bother wasting money on things like kitchen or bath remodels- they'll only add negligible value to your home. The best upgrades are usually the least inexpensive.

I was thinking about getting one of those stripper poles for my rec room. It could prove to be money well spent as well as quite entertaining.

This is my friend Fuzzy. That's not her real name but those are her real boots.

The Boy Toy says she's welcome over any time.

She's quite talented, isn't she? I think Fuzzy should quit her day job.

It Was Like That Seinfeld Episode

2007-09-03T22:26:00.000-04:00

I had to take my car in to the dealer. I HATE taking any vehicle to the dealer because they are Thieving Bastards™. Well, most all mechanics are Thieving Bastards™ but especially the dealers. I didn't mind so much in this case because my car is still under warranty (thank God) and I wouldn't have to pay the $600 repair bill.

The driver's side power window went on the fritz, which was really inconvenient since I need to be able to roll the window down to swipe the card thingy to get through the security gate at work. My car isn't even that old and things shouldn't be breaking so soon, but hey, if it lasted forever the car companies wouldn't continue to make money off you.

Another thing I hate is for anyone to drive my car. People always like to move the seat around, adjust the tilt, play with the mirrors, screw with the air vents, steal your coins and cd's, radar detector, GPS, etc. and mechanics always manage to get grease on the upholstery. And what the fuck do they think they are accomplishing by putting that little piece of paper on the floor? My thick, rubber mats aren't sufficient?

Anyway, I took it in and they finished the work in about an hour and a half which is a miracle in itself. The other miracle was that nothing seemed to be screwed with. Amazing. And the window worked on top of all of it.

I took it home and had a couple days off and didn't go anywhere in the car. After a couple days, I had to go somewhere and go out to the car, open the door, and Holy Christ! The car reeked of B.O.!!! God Almighty! Don't mechanics believe in deodorant? And greasy smelling B.O. on top of it. I immediately had a flashback to that Seinfeld episode.

So much for that new car smell.

Masters of Science Fiction? Don't Flatter Yourselves

2007-08-20T22:27:00.000-04:00

Clearly I am not dead yet. I did, however, have the great grand daddy of all head colds which led to my watching more TV than usual. So over the weekend, while watching some gawd awful boring dreck, I decided to search the channel guide to see if there was anything interesting on.

There was this new programme on ABC entitled The Masters of Science Fiction. Well, I like science fiction well enough, so lets take a look. This particular episode starred Malcolm McDowell and that fake lesbian Anne Heche who I cannot stand, the nasally, smug cunt. I'd rather listen to fingernails scratching across a chalkboard than listen to her. Well, Malcolm McDowell is in it and he was in A Clockwork Orange, so lets give it a look anyway.

So the story turned out to be about an anthropoid named Jerry who was scheduled to be turned into dog food, but piqued the interest of The Worlds Seventh Richest Woman (Heche) who believed that he had feelings and therefore was a person and had rights.

Well, this story sounds a bit familiar. I believe it has already been done, this artificial life is actually human rubbish. I remember a movie called Bicentennial Man starring Robin Williams with the same premise, which was ripped off from an Isaac Asimov short story, The Bicentennial Man. At the end, they showed a preview of next week's installment which was clearly a rip off of Total Recall.

So you people should probably call your little programme The Masters of Plagiarism instead of The Masters of Science Fiction, or perhaps An Utterly Boring Waste of Time. If I want to watch shite science fiction, I'll stick to the Sci-Fi Channel.

The Gay Flight Attendant

2007-08-06T13:53:00.000-04:00

I have a friend who sends me emails of dubious origin. I thought this one was pretty funny.

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one." To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch."

I Have Finally Found My Calling

2007-08-06T13:19:00.000-04:00

I recently had a conversation with Mrs. PA about a t-shirt they had at Wal-Mart. It said "Genius by birth, slacker by choice". "That is you exactly!" said Mrs. PA. "You are sooo smart and you should go back to school and stop wasting your time..." Well, I had to agree...somewhat.
I'm a total lazy arse. Well, maybe not total. I am gainfully employed, even if it's in a field that most think is beneath me. I really don't fucking care. At least I'm not on the dole with 5 or 6 kids and smoking crack. Why have a job that stresses me out and gets me to an early grave? I don't need that shit! What I do, I do for me and if anyone doesn't like it they can fuck the hell off. I actually don't mind what I do. It's easy as fuck all and I have plenty of time off and very little stress. I could make more money at it if I pushed myself, but for what? Like I said, I'm not trying to impress anyone. I think keeping up appearances is fucking wank.

So yesterday, the fucking hottest day of the year so far, 97 degrees, was way too hot to be outside. I sat around all day watching the X-Games. That is when I discovered my true calling. It's called Rally Car racing. It totally rocks. It's like baja racing in a little rice burner which is very similar to driving in S. Fla. I think I'm overqualified.

Now, could I get some sponsors? And one of those nifty little Subarus. That would be great.

Darwin Was Wrong

2007-07-27T18:59:00.000-04:00

Anyone who seriously believes the validity of the theory of evolution has probably never watched a little TV show called Country Fried Home Videos. It's a sort of redneck/white trash version of America's Funniest Home Videos. I have long known that there are some really dumb ass people out there, but these folks take the cake.

There was a whole family on, (Oh yeah, this bunch was REAL white trash. They had the prerequisite junk pick-up truck and junk station wagon out front along with another pick-up truck in a real country setting.) three generations worth, the Donahoos they were called, from Calhoun, Kentucky, who participated in a "game" they called "Bee Fightin'". The premise of the "game" was to get the whole family out, each would get two handfuls of bushes, someone would go disturb a bee hive, and then everyone would flail their arms around wildly and fight off the bees.

I can't make this kind of shit up.

One of the "young 'n's" said that generally everyone gets stung 5 or 6 times each, sometimes in the lip, "and once, someone swallowed one and got stung down the throat." Even Grandma gets in on the action. She said, "One time [a bee] got stuck in one of my hair curlers..."

Fuck me.

I'm sorry, I just can't buy the whole natural selection resulting in improvement of offspring when there are so many morons like these going around reproducing like mad. This isn't evolution, it's dysgenics.

Farewell, Old Girl

2007-07-24T19:48:00.001-04:00

Dolly

July 3, 2000 - July 23, 2007

After battling diabetes for almost a year, my best girl, Dolly, finally succumbed to the disease. I have volumes to say concerning the thieving vets and the practice of veterinary medicine in general, but at the moment I just don't have it in me.

Dolly was a rescue, and at least I can say for the five years that I had her, she was loved and lived the life of Riley. You will be dearly missed, old girl.

I Can't Take You Seriuosly When You're Wearing Spandex

2007-07-17T01:25:00.000-04:00

People who define themselves by their hobbies are generally complete arseholes. No exception are the ones who call themselves Mountain Bikers, especially the ones who live in South Florida, since it is utterly flat here. They should instead call themselves "Offroad Bikers", or better yet, just get truthful about the matter and call themselves "A Pack of Cunts" because that is what they are.

Now I actually do enjoy riding in the Great Outdoors- it can be quite fun. And there are special parks that you can go to specifically for bike riding- just avoid going to them on the weekend when they are overrun by smug, egotistical fuckers who think that they own the place and everyone else doesn't belong there.

I really get a kick out of these fuckholes with their $2,000 bikes and their Camelbacks and their Spandex. It's absolutely hilarious to see grown people riding around the woods in their little fucking Spandex outfits. For fuck's sake! Where do you get off being so damned smug when you're mincing around the forest looking like that?! It's not like you need to be aerodynamic up in there.

And for people who claim to be so "serious" about their "sport", they really are the most ignorant, dirty fuckers. No fucking clue about riding etiquette--like letting someone know if you are going to overtake them, or riding on the right side of the bike path. No, just fly around like a bunch of drunken mongs. And throw your garbage all over the place while your at it. That'll show the rest of us, what with our $75 Wal-Mart bikes and cotton clothing.

Just look at this lot showing their shortcomings.

Wankers.

The Next Interloper Will Be Eviscerated

2007-07-15T19:40:00.000-04:00

There is scarcely any greater hell than having to go do anything with my mother. I had to take her to go get a new cell phone. Taking my mother to do anything always ends up taking much longer than it needs to take as well as contributing to my high blood pressure. This trip would be no different.

My mother understands almost nothing about electronics and explaining such things to her is about as productive as explaining them to a palm tree, except the palm tree will not aggravate the shit out of you by asking questions about things which were already explained.

So we go on down to the Borg Cube of Retail (aka Sam's Club) since that was where she got her last cell phone. We go in and find the cell phone kiosk and I attempt to explain to the sales girl the problem that my mother was having with her old phone. As I'm telling her about the poor reception, some shmuck interjects with "Where you live probably doesn't get any coverage. You need to go on the [service provider's] web site and look at the coverage map."

"Excuse me?!? Who the fuck are you, and why the hell are you butting yourself into this conversation?" was what I was thinking.

"I live by blah, blah, blah, and I don't have any service." Well boo-fucking-hoo.

"Oh, you live between the old Bell South microwave antenna and the TV antenna farm. No wonder you don't get any service," says me.

That was my first mistake--acknowledging the asshole. I should have told him where he could go but I doubt it would have helped. This guy was intent on bloviating to somebody and my mother loves to engage with such morons because a complete stranger is obviously an expert. (And did I mention that he was wearing a pink and lavender plaid shirt?! Now you've GOT to listen! /heavy sarcasm> )

I couldn't take it. I just walked away and let the two of them yack it up. The plan was to come back in a few minutes and hopefully the asshole would be gone. Well, hope does not reside at Sam's Club. When I came back, he was still there, jacking his jaw. I could feel my blood pressure rising, so I walked on over to the pharmacy to check it out on the machine. Yup. Up 15 points.

After a few more minutes, I returned to the phone kiosk. STILL FUCKING THERE! Well, to make a long story short, after an HOUR AND A HALF, the motherfucker finally left. An HOUR and a fucking HALF. I was fucking livid. I swear I will never let anything like that happen again.

And ya know what the worst part was? It only took about 10 minutes to actually pick out a new phone and take care of the incidentals.

Anti Child Actor Rant

2007-07-13T14:25:00.000-04:00

I can't fucking stand that damned AT&T commercial with the "precocious" little children. Everyone knows that "precocious" is just a polite way of saying "insufferable little shits". I can't stand kids to begin with, and those obnoxious little bastards just irritate the ever loving fuck out of me.

Their parents should be drawn and quartered as a warning to other parents not to try to get rich off of making their kids into child actors. Go and get a job and quit inflicting your kids upon the TV viewing audience.

That is all.

Happy 4th of July and all that crap

2007-07-05T00:51:00.000-04:00

It seems that the older I get, the less I'm interested in celebrating holidays (except for Halloween, of course). The 4th just doesn't do it for me anymore. I just couldn't be arsed to get off my nice, comfy couch, get out into the insane South Florida traffic, all to stand around in the rain with stupid ass, annoying people just to see 15 minutes worth of fireworks.

No, not me.

That would all be completely unnecessary. Why? Because I live in the ghetto. Now most folks suffer under the misconception that people in the ghetto are utterly deprived. This is not entirely true. Now, these same people might not have the money for rent, but there is ALWAYS money enough for fireworks! And not just any rinky-dink sparklers and smoke bombs, but the finest illegal fireworks smuggled in from Georgia!

Now if you go down to see one of the municipalities' fireworks shows, all you're going to get is a 15 to 20 minute show at the max. New York City? Maybe 30 to 45 minutes. But here in the ghetto? Seven straight hours worth of pyrotechnic splendor!

I think my neighbors did a mighty fine job re-enacting the Battle of Baghdad this year. Hell, the smoke is still hanging in the air thicker than at Seminole Bingo and it's just a little after 1am!

Great job, people. You really out did yourselves this year.

Bang Your [Fish] Head

2007-07-03T20:54:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago, I was so bored that I thought I might want to go to a Marlins' baseball game since I'd never been before. And since I didn't care to suffer through it alone, I decided to call Mrs. PA and see if she wanted to go (she's usually game for anything).

So I call up Mrs. PA and she mentions that the game on the 30th has Joan Jett playing a concert afterward. WHAT?!? JOAN JETT?!? Well, that was all I had to hear. I fucking LOVE Joan Jett. I might even go gay for Joan Jett (well, maybe not, but still!) It turns out that Mrs. PA couldn't go but I found someone else who wanted to go.

So I go down to the stadium and get my tickets, all happy as a lark. Then a couple of days before the big event, my friend cancels on me. Fuck! I paid for two tickets, now who am I going to get to go with me? Everyone I know was either working or going out of town and I am going to see Joan come hell or high water. But wait! What about the neighbors across the street? The religious, home schooled, shut-ins who run inside whenever they see me--ya, those neighbors.

Well, I call over there and lo and behold, the female one wants to go to the game(I made no mention of the concert, for I am truly evil, and will enjoy the forthcoming reaction).

The big day finally arrived. I said that I was going to see Joan come hell or high water, so as it turns out, I got the high water! About 2 hours before the Marlins' game was supposed to start, the biggest, nastiest thunderstorm blew in. It looked like the apocalypse. It was raining sideways and all the streets were flooded. Sorry, not good enough. I waited until it died down (about a half hour before the game started), collected Shut-in Girl, and went. I was originally going to have someone drop us off, but I decided to go ahead and pay the $10 to park so we wouldn't have to walk in the rain. Well, after we actually got there and parked, it had stopped raining. From then on, it totally cleared up and the sun came out and it never rained again all night.

The baseball game was totally boring. One good thing was it was a give-away night and I got lots of free crap--foam fish heads, Marlins' car flags, baseball cards, and a bag thingie.

The Fish started Byun-Hyung Kim as pitcher and he pitched pretty well. Then they took him out after about 6 or 7 innings and since the Marlins' bull pen has no depth, they went from winning 1-0, to being behind by 5 runs. Then in the 8th, the Marlins started a come back. I was praying that they wouldn't come back because I wanted to see Joan and I didn't want to suffer through extra innings. Luckily, they only came within one run. The Braves won 6-5.

Time for Joan! YEAH!!!!!! (Shut-in Girl had no clue who Joan Jett was--this was going to rule on so many levels.) They announced that everyone could move in closer to any empty seat so we made our way to the first base line by the dug-out and got what I thought would be pretty good seats. Then they did the fireworks (which were pretty awesome) while they set up the stage. Then they started letting people on the field down by the stage. What the Hell?!?!! I would have TOTALLY went down by the stage but it was too late by then to try to find my way down there, that and I had Shut-in Girl in tow.

Anyway, Joan and the band came out and totally rocked! They started the set off with Bad Reputation followed by Cherry Bomb. Then, when they started in with Do You Wanna Touch Me, Joan wanted audience participation. It was fucking ace to see Shut-in Girl singing, "Yeah, oh yeah!" along with Crimson and Clover and I Love Rock N Roll. "I know this one!" says Shut-in. Really?!? This was so totally ruling. Joan and the band did a couple new songs, The Mary Tyler Moore Theme, and I believe finished it off with I Hate Myself For Loving You.

Totally. Fucking. Ruled.

And I must say, Joan looked so good. She doesn't look her age AT ALL. They totally kicked ass. They did about a 45 minute set and sounded totally awesome! If I ever get a chance to see her again in a smaller venue like The Culture Room, I am SO going. Great live show.

Even Shut-in Girl had a good time.

I love corrupting religious folk.

Dear Dogs and Cats

2007-05-18T22:18:00.000-04:00

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find it aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

Begging will not work, as I am a cold hearted fucker. Pressing your chin on my knee as I eat will not make me give you food. Also, scooting closer and pressing your chin harder to my knee only further annoys me; no food will follow.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster that you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will begin sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up into a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years- canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like To Complain About The Pets:

They live here, you don't.
If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
I like my pets a lot better than most people.
To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Dogs and cats are better than kids... they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college; and if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.

That is all.

Stating the obvious

2007-05-17T01:14:00.000-04:00

It seems that for the second consecutive year, Miami has been voted the city with the worst drivers.

The hell you say.

And it's not just confined to Miami. (Oh, if only it could be confined, or better yet, have the Miamians confined.) It's ALL of South Florida. Miserable, fucking bastards who live here. All 7 million of 'em.

Why don't you all go back to your respective third world countries? That might help. No?

It's about time!

2007-05-17T00:57:00.000-04:00

The other day a friend from work sent me an email saying that I absolutely HAD to call her. It was hot gossip from the office. Well, it seemed that our department head finally got shit canned!

BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'd been waiting so fucking long for that day. Demented fucking cunt had it coming. If anyone ever so fucking deserved it, the abusive, twisted hag. I was doing the dance of joy and about to fucking burst, so giddy with happiness. Of course, I had to pretend like it was such a terrible thing to my friend, so that my utter raving glee would not ultimately get back to the office.

Sometimes Karma's a slow bitch.

Mheh.

2007-05-03T00:14:00.001-04:00

This one is for the two Kims.

You Are a Smart American

You know a lot about US history, and you're opinions are probably well informed.
Congratulations on bucking stereotypes. Now go show some foreigners how smart Americans can be.

Are You a Dumb American?

Oportunities Missed

2007-05-02T23:20:00.000-04:00

It really chaps my hide to see these "immigration" protesters out there grousing about this country's "so-called" unfair immigration practices. The fuck? The lot of you are here illegally and you've got the unbridled audacity to be protesting? Us natural born citizens should be the ones out protesting just why the fuck does our government refuses to enforce its laws. No better opportunity than now to round their asses up, check papers, and DEPORT those who are here ILLEGALLY. What the fuck is so difficult to understand? If you are here illegally, by definition, you are breaking the law.

How ridiculous would it be if drug dealers were out protesting because they don't want the police to arrest them for breaking the law?

Actually, it's not difficult to understand why the flow of illegals is out of control. The bottom line is always MONEY. Big corporations as well as other businesses like the cheap labor which leads to bigger profit margins. It's not that Americans are unwilling to do the jobs that the immigrants do, it's the fact that Americans will not do those jobs for slave wages. Pay a reasonable, living wage and Americans will do those jobs. Fuck!

None Are Surprised

2007-04-25T23:14:00.000-04:00

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Obviously I have ADD

2007-04-24T21:11:00.000-04:00

This was supposed to be a post with a different subject altogether but the Sirius distracted me. Bad Sirius. BAD, Bad Sirius, playing music that I actually like unlike the stupid local stations that play absolute shite.

I remember back in the day when WLRN had a show that played cool shit like The Sisters of Mercy and Catherine Wheel and the odd The Smiths tune. Now you can only hear it on the Sirius "Classic Alternative" station. Are they trying to make me think I'm old or something? I don't feel old. Or at least I still act like a kid.

Anyway, to celebrate my upcoming birthday, I decided that I needed to replace my beloved Nine Inch Nails "Pretty Hate Machine" tape that was played until it broke. Much to my chagrin, I could only find it in LP. Who the fuck buys LPs? Why can't they have it in CD like normal? And I'm certainly not going to by it in MP3 format. Fuck that! However, I did discover this. Which totally rules. A friend of mine's 6 month old will be getting this for her first birthday.

I'm used to getting what I want. I'll find the CD... Oh, yes... I WILL find it!

That is all.

I have a blog? Oh, right!

2007-04-23T01:46:00.000-04:00

I would just like to thank Mrs. PA for shooting down what I thought would be a most excellent post. "How much did you have to drink over the weekend?" she asks. Humph.

*walks away muttering*

Look at me! I'm Peggy Lee!

2006-08-29T23:39:00.000-04:00

It never ceases to amaze me. These newspeople are unsurpassed at getting people whipped up into a frenzy over nothing. Hurricane? Tropical Storm? Looks more like a wet fart to me!
Is that all there is? They've been hyping this shit for a week and it turned out to be nothing. I said it would be nothing. Go ahead and hate. I am unashamed of my armchair prognostications. I've lived in this state for long enough to have a feel for these things.

What a load of shit! People were in an utter panic! Hour-long waits for gas, grocery store shelves stripped bare. And why in fuck do people need to stock up on ginormous packs of toilet paper? A storm is not going to affect the world market in TP! Christ Almighty! You would think it was Armageddon the way people were carrying on. Publix is not going to cease to be because there was a fucking bit of wind!

Butch up, people.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying to go unprepared. All that shit should be taken care of before hurricane season starts. And it's also a good idea to keep at least half a tank of gas in your car. That way you won't have to wait in line for hours because you choose to ride around on fumes.

Unfortunately, most of these assholes down here never learn.

Good night, kiddies.

Absolutely Pathetic!

2006-08-22T21:37:00.000-04:00

Update:

Could be a bit of a misunderstanding here. If so, I retract the above statement.

Update the Second:

It was a misunderstanding.

Dark Light

Game of Thorns

Welkom!

Missing Arekino

Official Sponsor

Theme Song

The Next Big Thing

And Now We Dance

Heeeeere's Xully!

An Undergarment or an Eye Patch?

What Is Wrong With This Picture?

Happy New Year!

Happy Feast of Sinterklaas

I Need A Better Camera Phone

Sexay!

Porcine Aeronautics

Darwin Awards Nominee?

Allow Me To Serenade You With My Ukulele

Dirty Fuckers

No Country For Old Xuls

So, uh...huh, huh,huh...you like to eat out? Huh, huh, huh

Happy Cows Are Tax-Free Cows

Spacker

It Annoys me

So, How'd It Go At Government Hell?

Hell Is Spelled D-M-V

Sick

Been Busy

Hint Taken

I Don't Have To Take Your Stinking 16 Hour Course!

So I'm NOT The Only One

Hmmm...

Proof That I Know What I'm Talking About

Major Findings

Finding 1:

Americans Fail the Test of Civic Literacy

Finding 2:

Americans Agree:Colleges Should Teach America’s Heritage

Finding 3:

College Adds Little to Civic Knowledge

Finding 4:

Television—Including TV News—Dumbs America Down

Finding 5:

What College Graduates Don’t Know About America

Additional Finding

Elected Officials Score Lower than the General Public

That, And A Fire This Tall

Who Writes This Shite Anyway?

ISTP - The Mechanics

So Who D'Ya S'pose These Guys Are?

Music and Such

God Bless America

Fruity!

Almost Back

Here We Go Again

Fun and Games Update

Easily Distracted, Changes Post Subject

It's All Fun And Games Until...

Birthday

You Go Girl!

By Request

Spring Has Sprung

Have A Kinky Easter

Blogger Ate My Dingo

Happy Blogversary To Me

Fuck Right Off

Cock Flavored Soup

Bike Or Die!

Zednik Injury

Follow Up A Rant With A Rant: Sharkwater

Bad Blogger!

The Alcoholic Challenge

A Resurrection Of Sorts

For The Love of Tea

What A Difference 8 Months Can Make

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Hockey Pictures

Tis the Season...

A Christmas Party, A Big Swedish Store, and Hockey

Seems they grow on trees now

Americans Agree:
Colleges Should Teach America’s Heritage